The Argy back to basics.

Hola amigos
I’m practicing my Spanish as Pedro and Manuel have stopped by to try out the new glamping pods. They’ve never seen anything so cool as the igloos, coming from Spain that is. They’re in the pod next to Lord Lemongrove who’s definitely hiding again with his flippity
The llamas are doing a great job impersonating reindeer and they’re ready for the kiddie rides
I’m not sure about the roll mops ixion but we’ll give it a try … do they go with chips and tomato ketchup?
I’ve got my snow shoes ready for working in the paddock, well they’re borrowed from Lemongrove manor tennis courts actually but don’t think lemon will notice

Ooh yes ixion. Now all we have to do is figure out a way to fill the paddock with fake snow and take people on llama reindeer rides. ?

Ooh, tasteful, doodle
I have a couple of jars of expired unopened roll mops.
Would you like them for guests' authentic Ice experience?

Well gang we have our own glamping pods. Nanouk has recovered his strength and has built two igloos in the paddock. I told him ice would melt so he’s made them of polystyrene. They look quite authentic. We have some fake fur rugs. An ice hole for fishing (beer barrel full of water) and he has made antlers for the llamas so they look like reindeer. We already have a customer. Funnily enough it looks a bit like Lord Lemongrove……is he in hiding again?

Hmm we’ll see about that. I might send the llamas on a rampage ?

lemon pinched ixion's idea and has installed sheds er .. glamping pods at Lemongrove Manor. She is making a fortune. We won't see any of the cash sadly.

Phew I’m back. Hello gang. What a trip.
Nanouk is resting in the cellar. Bertie got him to do all the peddling on the way home. He insisted on bringing his spear with him as he is going to try and catch some fish in the canal.
Brook I’ve just popped in to see the llamas. They look so well cared for. Sorry you had such turmoil on the beach. Madame Alarma now insists she wants ice cream cones and a paddle every day. I’ve bought her a paddling pool and arranged for Chilly Charlie to take his ice cream van to the paddock every day and give them a 99 during the warm weather.
Goodness ixion, one Madam is bad enough. What about if we got another female and she turned out like Alarma ?
AGA the new Jet Set poteen is excellent. The very best. Got me out of the cooking pot for sure.
Now what’s all this I hear about Glamping pods. Sounds like a good money making idea.
Have checked the till and am pleased to report all the takings seem intact. I’m really surprised. I was sure lemon would have her hand in the till as soon as I was out of the way. ?

Ooh, doodle's back soon.
Have run round the Argy with the Hoover and briefed the staff to be on their best behaviour again .
The Great Dane is being very secretive, she says she has a lovely surprise awaiting her?‍♀️
See doodle, the crowds are gathering???

Yes you’re right ixion I’m recently back from visiting an Alpaca farm and taking the little darlings out trekking - tell you what they can move fast when they want to!
Here’s my picture of all 4 of them

Ah brook. Hear you've been trekking with alpacas.
You can be are our resident expert.
You seem to have infinite patience. What a proper madam that Alarma is. I wonder whether we shouldn't get in a second girl, introduce a bit of rivalry to reduce that preciousness.

Don’t worry about the llamas Doodle they’re doing fine - well until today that is. They were getting a bit whiffy all this hot weather so I decided to take them all to the beach. All was going well and they were paddling in the sea and enjoying themselves but then the resident beach donkeys arrived and all hell broke loose. Worse than a Friday night at the Argy. … Alarma and Gnasher both fighting with Eeyore and Muffin and then chasing them right down the beach. Kicking sand and splashing water everywhere and then refusing to budge until I’d bought them all ice creams. They drew quite a crowd and then madam Alarma insisted on a boat trip … I’ve only just got her back so I’m taking her straight home to Lemongrove paddock now and that’s where she’s staying until you return

Glad the Jet Set poteen worked Doodle and you got away. Nanouk will be an asset at the Argy. Just make sure lemon doesn't nab him for her glamping business.

Cooee gang it’s me. We finally escaped from the island after giving all the locals a tot of my secreted poteen stash. It seems we were meant for the pot. Who would have thought it wot with me being so slim and all. Bertie and I made out getaway at night and peddled fast for days before sighting land again. I don’t think Bertie has the hang of the sat nav yet. Unless the IOW is covered with snow and has ice flows in the sea , I think we are in the wrong place. The locals here seem friendly enough. They have given us warm fur boots and coats and have made us an ice hut to shelter in. We will rest for a day or so and then head home. I am bringing new bar staff with me. Nanouk, a young man with huge muscles ? wants to come and learn English with us so I have taken him on for the summer . He can help in the bar plus he will help us pedal home. Hope you are all getting on ok and have come up with some enterprising money spinners while I’ve been away. Hope Brook is keeping an eye on the llamas for me. See you soon.

I have booked one in the woods. It has a hot tub. Ok it's a water butt but in this weather it will do. I hope lemon has provided pots in the potting sheds for ..erm .. comfort breaks.

We could test drive your new glamping pods lemon.
A sort of pod crawl.
I'll start off with my poteen in that one down by the lake beyond the ha-ha. What's it called?
Dun Roamin' you say? Tasteful.

Yes, it’s the latest trend... I love it too, as it’s so cheap!
Gee whiz it’s hot! They may not need the furry throw after all.
Let’s have an early poteen with a lemonade top ixion it will set us up for the day eh?
Any mushroom quiche going? Is the cellar still yielding a good crop?

Ooh. Shabby chic then, lemongrove?

Thought of it, and done it! There are now six potting sheds, errrm, glamping pods on the edge of our woods, all ready to rent out and filled with the latest must haves, including a wheelbarrow with a furry throw in it, a watering can full of poteen, and an old ( antique!) kettle.A tenner a week, can’t say fairer than that.

?Hello lemon?

Just thought I'd run this past you: have you thought of converting your potting shed to a luxury glamping pod to rent out?
It would keep L.L. away from his little bolt hole and be yet another a source of income?

A potent poteen indeed ixion, well done AGA, and you ixion for restoring the Argy takings.......just have to keep them out of lemon's grasp now. Could normally put Gnasher on guard duty but he sounds knackered, that Lurpack Lil is no lightweight. Maybe young Smellors will keep lemon occupied till doodle returns. Hope she has enjoyed her paddle

Ouf, back at last, sorry about that.
The Jet Set poteen worked a treat, AGA, thank you. A real special brew.
Luckily, I met Willie the Weed before he imbibed, tho' I think my shrub-disguise scared the s**t out of him disconcerted him somewhat. His mate came with a trailer for the pots of vegetation and he paid me £13.7s.3d which I hope was OK?
Mind you, he was a bit sniffy that it wasn't in dried and bagged format?‍♀️ but tough. So honour - and the till- is restored for doodle (dv).

I had a teeny spot of bother with Lurpak Lil.
She was positively comatose- not a pretty sight tbh.
In the end, I got Gnasher along and heaved her corpulent frame on to his back and duly returned her to the Argy.

I think we should give the poor lad a day off. He looks shattered.

Oh dear. Did you find him ixion? If not can your spy see what’s going on Happy? And can your spy fly far enough to find Doodle, who seems worryingly silent?

Jet set poteen is the strongest yet. Not for the faint hearted. If he has had some he will be out for the count.

Doodle in flares.....what a fashion icon!!!

The spy in the sky has just seen Willie the Weed skulking around the potting shed GSM, he appears to have fallen into a bush... too much poteen maybe.

Still waiting for Little Weed to pitch up.
Much snoring and heavy breathing inside - must be sweltering in there.
Hopefully occupants comatose pretty soon, thanks to that Jet Set poteen AGA provided.