Unusual sayings

My mum
He's as good as a one legged
man in an arse kicking contest

When my ex partner was angry he always said "Pigs in fields".

My Mum used to say she'd had a "clashy back end" of a day

I'm not sure what it meant but I'm sure I've had a few days like that!

Referring to our beloved golden retriever “if brains were chocolate, he wouldn’t have enough to fill a Smartie”
Or referring to someone you know vaguely “her cat ran in our passage”.

“I’ll be glad when I’ve had enough of this.” (Said when doing something necessary, tedious and enduring.)

One I’d never heard until via a forum (maybe this one) is, ‘It’s looking black over Bill’s mother’s’ - meaning dark clouds in the distance.

I’ve heard that it originated not far from Stratford on Avon (the Bill referring to Wm. Shakespeare) but how true that is I have no idea. But I like it!

Whenever I asked my father what he was doing/making he would say " I'm making a gugar for a wigwam "

If something is too loose a fit, courtesy of an ex.
"It's like a cock in a sock".

I love the Irish saying that a cup of tea is "strong enough to trot a mouse on".

When, as children, we asked my Nan where someone/something was she used to reply "up in Annie's room under the wallpaper". Never understood that one!
Evidently (according to Google) it came from wartime slang.

He hasn't enough brains to blow his hat off!

I must shoot the crow eg I must go now

Hilarious Esspee! Mum used to say when sister and I were particularly giggly, "You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl!" How does a pudding crawl?

About as much use as a chocolate tea pot!