Calls from your adult children

I have twin daughters now 31, one lives at home with me and her stepdad, and works full time . The other is a single mum to 3 children and lives close by . I speak to my daughter with the children every day and my other daughter rings me when she's leaving work , to chat on her journey home . I think its because I was a single Mum with them for 10 years before I met and married my second husband 15 years ago . We're very close

Unfortunately, WhatsApp is our regular means of contact - we have a Family Group, and ofcourse, individual. They will let me know if there’s anything of interest and vice versa. If not, we know all is well.

One of my daughters phones quite often ^when she's having a lie in on a Saturday morning.
I'm always cheery but would rather she called some other time! 😂

My son rarely calls for a chat, the last call was about a year ago. Same with texts etc - in fact I only hear if I make first contact. We haven't fallen out but it doesn't occur to him to make that first contact even though I've mentioned it a few times.

DD1 rings most days. SIL rings about once a week. DGC tend to message. DD2 & her children ring at least once a week.

Our children do call their father, whilst his is out in his buildings, that seems to satisfy their silly need to talk on and on.

I'm not a fan of constant "ringing mum up" and our children know me. They email unless their impending arrival will be too soon. Odd, I know.

Very old thread but relevant

I have deleted "Whatsapp" it has killed the art of conversation. Even my kids think a WhatsApp line is worth a conversation. Well goodby to the world I knew. Don't bother ringing if you cant be arsed.

care

My son's daily calls to me are so that I have no need to pay the local car service to check me out daily in case I am dead or helpless.

In contact with my two daughters most days, but on WhatsApp.

My sons aren't the best communicators which is fine by me. Daughters in law are great at sending messages and photos of the children.

As to the comment in the original post, why did your friend not have her phone on silent whilst visiting? Also I've no idea why she has such constant contact but that's not anyone's issue but hers I'd have thought.

We have a WhatsApp group, my sons may ring me now and again, I see my daughter once a week and have tea with her.

I've found it fascinating, reading all the replies. Why is so complicated? My adult sons call me if they've got something to tell me. Similarly I call them for the same reason! It seems that a lot of people wait for their family to call and then get upset when they don't. I do have a friend whose daughter and granddaughter call her several times a day but they always seem very "needy" to me.

My son rings rarely and always by appointment…he will email to ask if such and such a day and time is ok to catch up!..it’s weird, he became more and more distant once he met his future wife…

This reminded me of my friend. Every time I see her, at least one of her kids will call, normally with some crisis or other. It’s never a social call to see how she is!

H1954 wrote:

MissAdventure

""I think its rude to phone when you know someone is out for a visit.""

"Yes, I agree, it is rude, not only on the part of the daughter who most probably knew her Mum was visiting the OP but also 'the Mum' who took the call. Why not divert the call?"

I agree .This happens to me regularly. It is nearly alwyas one particular daughter in law who does it, and one son who receives the call, often breaking into what i am saying to start talking to her about some social arrangement. I resent is deeply and think it is apallingly bad manners.
I mentioned it once to my son and he agreed but can't have really understood. By this time I know he is dutiful and kind to me, but I am low on his list of interesting companions.

Statisticallyl I am likely to become terminally ill or dead quite soon as I am nearly 90.
I have guessed my two sons collaborated on what care I need, and they are meticulous and kind in what they give me----actually I don't need a lot as I am still mostly free of severe diseases.
One son rings me every day. if he forgets I ring him in case he is worried I am unwell. He often starts "Just checking , Mum" and lets me know if he can't chat on that occasion, (he has a tremendous social life!) although usually we chat for not more than five minutes.

As long as we are all happy with contact, that is all that matters.

When my parents were alive I rang them once a week, no mobile phones then and phone calls were expensive,

After my mother died, both my sister and myself began ringing home more frequently, but six weeks after being widowed, DF told both of us firmly to go back to the old routine of the regular weekly call. It was what he was used to and he didn't want to see himself as someone who needed to be checked on, so we did and we were all happy.

I speak to daughter most days, must admit we’re basically best friends so there’s always something to gossip about!

Eldest son see couple times a week with his family.

My youngest son once or twice a week as he’s just joined armed forces!

As kittylester said we all get on well so like to WhatsApp etc too. I am very lucky with my kids we’re not in each other’s pockets and don’t get upset if we don’t hear from each other.

My heart sinks when No.2 son calls as I automatically assume there is something wrong. He does send Whatsapps usually photos of where he is or him with VIPs usually from the sporting world. I never have a clue who they are and say so.
No.1 son can facetime more than once a day at times which can be too much but he is a proud dad so often it is to show me what the grandchildren are up to and I never tire of those calls.

One DD is living with me until her new house is ready. It bothers her if I’m not up before she leaves for work. She then phones me mid-morning “Just to make sure that you are alive!” ?
DD in Australia sometimes comes on twice in a day, because my 4 year old GD wants to chat, or show/tell me something.
Youngest Aussie DS has a special group for the baby, so we often have a group chat with them and the in-laws. The oldest one over there isn’t good at keeping in touch, but will remark on any Facebook posts we make.
English DS sees me most days, because we are helping with DD’s house renovation.
I’m quite happy if I only hear from any of them once a week, in normal times. I feel sad for anyone whose family rarely keep in touch, but time flies by so quickly when you have a family and also go to work.

Daughter or I ring every few weeks, sometimes text in the week. Usually about gardening.. I FaceTime my son every weekend otherwise I’d hardly see or hear from my grandchildren.

Sorry, shrug, what is shrugly?

I think that you are being rather unfair to Kitty there win
If my children feel that they want to speak to me, then that is what I am here there for
I don't ring my children through the week, because they are frequently in work meetings
I am available, however, whenever they want to talk to me
We speak frequently.
If you feel that is OTT well I wish I could find a shrugly emoj