Karen is my Name

Barmeyoldbat

I am perfectly aware of what the generator was trying to do, it was just an observation, I wondered if it didn’t re-act to certain names. For the life of me I still can’t see what all the fuss is about, it is just another imported trend that will go with time, in fact you rarely hear it used except in certain circles and probably age groups.

OK, I thought you hadn't understood what the purpose of the generator was. I didn't realise you'd used it.

You say that you can't understand what the fuss is about... the links I've provided will give you an understanding of what is happening.

I'm 66 years old and I mix with many age groups. For example my 93 year old father in law had heard of the meme as had my grandchildren below the age of 10. So that's a massive age range. As for social circles, I have a wide range of friends from different backgrounds. It is there but obviously not in your social circle.

I agree the use of the name Karen as a pejorative is cruel. I also get enraged when people use the lazy and outdated stereotype ‘blue rinse brigade’ to refer to even older women. Both are misogynistic and unkind.

Blondiescot

Oriel, I'm perfectly capable of standing up for myself on the occasions when I do need to complain about something. And if anyone called me a 'Karen', they'd be given very short shrift indeed! The point I'm making is that you can't do anything about how other people view you - whether that is about your name or something else - the only thing you can control is how you react to it.

The point is that people will probably never say anything like that to your face. You will never be given the opportunity to defend your position. You can't react to something as nebulous as a meme.

I do know that the name Karen has so many negative connotations people do judge. Of course most, if not all, of the people labelled Karen aren't actually called by the name. So you see someone behaving in a problematic way... call her Karen. It's so easy!

The problem for people actually named Karen is that some people are not viewing them by their personality or their behaviour. Because of the negative associations with the name they will have already formed a negative bias toward that person through the lense of the Karen meme.

I did take control in the end... I changed my name as the meme is far too big to take on. I just hoped by starting this thread that it would alert folk to what is happening. If you doubt what I am saying just google the name Karen.

You do sound really angry about this Oriel. Yes, my name was used against me all through school. This is immature stuff and I know it hurts, but I am in therapy.

No I am not saying Karen is your personality. I've had it used on me as well and it stinks, but I'm saying that if it's used in the circles you're in and those people have not adapted to be kind and you have had to change your name as a result, then yes every time they use the name Karen they know what they are doing and its them with the problem. If it is your work you should complain to the manager because you will always answer to your birth name even if you changed it. I respond to different names (different people call me different things because I use a nickname)

And if anyone called me a 'Karen', they'd be given very short shrift indeed

But then you'd be accused of behaving like a Karen. That's the whole point.....

Oriel, the name Tracey use to be the same. If you were called Tracey you were viewed as a certain person, how about being a Kevin, I doubt any baby was given the name Kevin for a few years. And Sharon, white high heels and no brain that was how they were viewed all equally bad and hurtful as Karen. Please don’t think we understand because we are not called Karen it’s because we have seen it before and nothing will change.

Oriel
To diminish what you are saying certainly wasn’t my intention. Just trying to point out that not all Karen’s are so affected. She’s perfectly aware of the Stuff online, and doesn’t take the slightest bit of notice of it.
In answer to your question, we differ, not because I underestimate your feelings, but because I don’t think I would let it affect me. Of course I can’t be certain about that, because I’m not called Karen, but I know I wouldn’t change my name, it’s who I am for better or worse.

OnwardandUpward

You do sound really angry about this Oriel. Yes, my name was used against me all through school. This is immature stuff and I know it hurts, but I am in therapy.

No I am not saying Karen is your personality. I've had it used on me as well and it stinks, but I'm saying that if it's used in the circles you're in and those people have not adapted to be kind and you have had to change your name as a result, then yes every time they use the name Karen they know what they are doing and its them with the problem. If it is your work you should complain to the manager because you will always answer to your birth name even if you changed it. I respond to different names (different people call me different things because I use a nickname)

Hi Onward,

I'm not angry... far from it. I'm finding this therapeutic in that it is crystallizing my thoughts and confirming in myself that I made the right decision to change my name.

I think we're talking at cross purposes to some extent. I wasn't suggesting it was you who was saying Karen is my personality. I was conveying how the meme has coloured people's perceptions of those named Karen.

I'm not saying that the circles I mix in are using the Karen meme... far from it. They abhor its use. I am saying that they know of the meme.

I had to laugh when I read in your comment If it is your work you should complain to the manager. That is exactly what anyone called Karen would do!

Barmeyoldbat

Oriel, the name Tracey use to be the same. If you were called Tracey you were viewed as a certain person, how about being a Kevin, I doubt any baby was given the name Kevin for a few years. And Sharon, white high heels and no brain that was how they were viewed all equally bad and hurtful as Karen. Please don’t think we understand because we are not called Karen it’s because we have seen it before and nothing will change.

Hi Barmey

I do understand the Tracey/Sharon/Kevin thing but it was fairly lighthearted the Karen meme is vile and hateful.

I'm from London and got the 'Essex Girl' thing... it was a laugh - being called Karen was not.

Please don’t think we understand because we are not called Karen it’s because we have seen it before and nothing will change

But I am, and although I am aware of the meme -and yes it can be hurtful- I don’t encounter it in my everyday life and certainly don’t let it get to me .
However when I suggested as such I got short shrift from OP.
Made me wonder why.

Oh hahaha I missed the irony of calling the manager Now Im laughing!

People also used to abuse people for the type of car they drove, as if it summed them up. People have always bullied or shamed others. Unfortunately it is an ugly and disappointing part of human nature. If someone is derogatory I would try to think a comeback or I would cut them out of my life if possible. My therapist says " you cant change other people, only the way you deal with them"

Oriel I was going to answer your last post but to be honest I just think you are being over sensitive .

Hi again Oriel.
I think you have been great. You have raised awareness to (I am surprised to say) to many on here that either do not know or have no idea how bad the use of Karen as a pejorative is. You have also explained what we women named Karen have to deal with and how it can effect our life.
I do not go searching for it but I use the internet quite a lot so yes I see it all the time. I even have seen it on my local village internet group (in Wales) and when I asked them not to use Karen in that way I got so much abuse I felt I had to take myself off the group which I found really sad as all I had asked was not to use my name. It was a talk about not wearing face masks and Karens wouldn’t wear them.
I don’t think we will stop people using it and that it will run for much longer but hopefully we can raise awareness as to just how hurtful it is to women named Karen.

MawBe

^Please don’t think we understand because we are not called Karen it’s because we have seen it before and nothing will change^

But I am, and although I am aware of the meme -and yes it can be hurtful- I don’t encounter it in my everyday life and certainly don’t let it get to me .
However when I suggested as such I got short shrift from OP.
Made me wonder why.

You didn't get short shrift... you were rude and dismissive toward me and I called you on it. You then went on to insult me further with your sarcastic post below...

^How ironic Oriel
I try to send a supportive PM as a Karen to somebody who objects to being classified as a opinionated middle class woman with no manners.
Abd this is what I get?
And you say you have changed your name too confusedconfused^

You are now continuing on the same theme accusing me of giving you short shrift.

kazziecookie

Hi again Oriel.
I think you have been great. You have raised awareness to (I am surprised to say) to many on here that either do not know or have no idea how bad the use of Karen as a pejorative is. You have also explained what we women named Karen have to deal with and how it can effect our life.
I do not go searching for it but I use the internet quite a lot so yes I see it all the time. I even have seen it on my local village internet group (in Wales) and when I asked them not to use Karen in that way I got so much abuse I felt I had to take myself off the group which I found really sad as all I had asked was not to use my name. It was a talk about not wearing face masks and Karens wouldn’t wear them.
I don’t think we will stop people using it and that it will run for much longer but hopefully we can raise awareness as to just how hurtful it is to women named Karen.

Hi there Kazzie,

I think you're absolutely right... if we can raise awareness that might, just might, stop it becoming worse.

Sadly, it's hard for women to speak out about it, as you described in your post. This of course is one of the main drivers - the meme shuts women down and especially people named Karen.

I find it incredible that it isn't perceived as a hate speech and dealt with accordingly. I know there were three women who appeared on 'This Morning' trying to point out how hateful the use of the Karen meme was. They then got accused on social media of being typical 'Karens' !

It’s a load of rubbish!

SusieFlo

It’s a load of rubbish!

Care to expand on your statement!

Whatever happened to “ Karen solidarity” OP?
It’s not all about you, but if you cannot let it go, you are the only person who will feel hurt.

Stereotypes and memes will always be with us, but we do not need to perpetuate the prejudice by old IV on to the resentment or hurt.
You can choose to be a victim - or you can choose to let it go. And as for coming down on me like a ton of bricks can I remind you of Tim Minchin’s song “Prejudice” (I hope Kazzie gets this too ?)
Think on.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw&vidve=5727&autoplay=1

I have no idea where “ old IV” came from
I meant (and thought I had written) holding ?

Maw is right

Maw is right and has explained it well, I have tried but I have awful brain fog for some days and everything seems like a jigsaw in my head. Thank Maw for putting it so well.

MawBe

Whatever happened to “ Karen solidarity” OP?
It’s not all about you, but if you cannot let it go, you are the only person who will feel hurt.

Stereotypes and memes will always be with us, but we do not need to perpetuate the prejudice by old IV on to the resentment or hurt.
You can choose to be a victim - or you can choose to let it go. And as for coming down on me like a ton of bricks can I remind you of Tim Minchin’s song “Prejudice” (I hope Kazzie gets this too ?)
Think on.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw&vidve=5727&autoplay=1

You're one to talk about 'Karen solidarity'!

What's with the 'Think on' remark.

Are you usually this arrogant and rude? You you said you were proud of yourself - perhaps it stems from that?

You labelled me (albeit passive agresively) as being a woman displaying the typical 'Karen' traits despite having changed name. Is that evidence of your solidarity? - if it is, then you can keep it.

You have been rude and dismissive toward me on every one of your posts bar the first one.

No-one is choosing to be a victim here - that is your perception. Stop trotting out your book learned therapy-speak.

Oriel I'm sorry that you felt you had to take the drastic step of changing your name but now having done that you still seem very exercised about the whole thing. Would it not be better for your wellbeing to move on.

I imagine the majority of Karens have chosen to ignore the whole thing.

What if some smart-arse comes up with a take on your new name?

I've been aware of 'Karen' for a few years but honestly don't see it much - do you frequent Twitter, online chats, etc, a lot? I'm reasonably clued-up on trends, read newspapers & magazines online and other, have adult children and grandchildren so I'm not unaware but rarely come across it.

In the past the Traceys, Sharons, Waynes & Kevins had to put up with assumptions, jokes etc in real life and on TV, not as a result of hanging around on the internet.

I hope you're happy with your new name and don't come to regret the change.

@Barmeyoldbat and @Sara1954

Maw is not right. You can agree with her of course but that doesn't make what she says correct.

In fairness neither of you seem to comprehend fully what the subject matter is about. You're not basing your opinion on fact.

Riverwalk

Oriel I'm sorry that you felt you had to take the drastic step of changing your name but now having done that you still seem very exercised about the whole thing. Would it not be better for your wellbeing to move on.

I imagine the majority of Karens have chosen to ignore the whole thing.

What if some smart-arse comes up with a take on your new name?

I've been aware of 'Karen' for a few years but honestly don't see it much - do you frequent Twitter, online chats, etc, a lot? I'm reasonably clued-up on trends, read newspapers & magazines online and other, have adult children and grandchildren so I'm not unaware but rarely come across it.

In the past the Traceys, Sharons, Waynes & Kevins had to put up with assumptions, jokes etc in real life and on TV, not as a result of hanging around on the internet.

I hope you're happy with your new name and don't come to regret the change.

Hi River

The reason for posting this thread is that I feel it is a way of fighting back against the hatred going on against older white women and especially those called Karen. The problem is that if someone called Karen takes exception to being abused then of course they are only displaying 'Karen' behaviour. It's a Catch 22 situation. It is a means of silencing older women.

I'm hoping that it can be stopped in the UK from reaching the same proportions that it has in the US. If you're interested read the thread you'll see where I'm coming from hopefully.

By the way, I'm not on facebook, twitter, tic-tok, inst, etc. I do read a lot and watch YouTube.

I know that I won't regret changing my name - I had come to hate my old name.