Blamers

Yep My husband - how or why we are still together is a mystery !

In our 51 years of marriage my DH has rarely accepted that it was his fault!! He's now wary of blaming me because he knows I will yell at him - there is only so much blame a buddy can take!!

I have a Grandson of 7 and Granddaughter 10 coming to stay for the first time in 6 years (long story). I'm very excited and would like to make their visit very memorable.
I would like to leave something on their beds to welcome them. Any ideas?

Sorry my first time and I've posted this in the wrong place!! ?

Yeah my mother she turned all her side of family against me for something she did. I walked away from them all her side of family 25 years ago.

My middle daughter scratched, ' Holly did this she is nauty' in the bannister when she was 5. Holly is her older sister ???

Oh, yes. I believe it’s a narcissistic trait - always blaming someone else, especially when things go wrong for them.

My sister and her daughter, also very good at projecting a kind and caring image, all done for their own self-gain. They are no longer part of my life and I feel much better for it.

We all know people like this, but sometimes things can go very wrong for people through no fault of their own.
Read ‘an inspector calls’

My sister is a prize blamer. She also manages to take no responsibility whatsoever for her criticisms, suggestions and arguments - by always attributing them to somebody else. It's her daughter or husband who thinks it's all wrong - apparently!

My 2nd son is the worst - and I've recently cut off all contact. It's sad, but I'm too old to put up with it any longer.

I have had his daughter living with me for the past 11-12 months because of his violence - she is now 20, not a child to be slapped about (not that that is ever right!) but his only comment when they met for the first time since she left was that it was all her fault.....

And - (yes, Maria59) the rewriting of history, the denial that certain events even happened!

My late husband. Everything was always someone else's fault including his COPD....nothing to do with his years of smoking and drinking

grannybuy, do you roll your eyes like I do with my BPD daughter? Not to her face because life wouldn't be worth living if I did! I listen to her tales of woe and try to word where she might make things better next time but there are a thousand reasons why she couldn't/wouldn't do that, all completely outside of her control. I always say that she is a chip off the old block that skipped a generation because I am more than happy to take responsibility for my actions. I think I am more likely to take more responsibility than I need to if I think that it will get things back on track quickly and unpleasantness can be averted.

Oh yea, lots of people I have come across want to blame everyone else. I have never really understood why this is, if you have made a mistake own up and sort it out. I mean a great big bolt of lightning is not going to come and strike you down. It seems to be getting worse this blame culture that we have.

My daughter had a really good friend in her teens. Sadly, her parents divorced which affected her badly and she eventually had counselling to help her through this time. However, this totally changed her as her counsellor convinced her, quite rightly, that her parents’ divorce was not her fault, but that whatever else went wrong in her life was also no fault of hers. Eventually she lost most of her friends as ‘they were always wrong’ and just couldn’t cope with her.

Yes, here too. I recently had an incoherent message from my 55 year old brother blaming my blameless sister, who was looking after his granddaughter, for the fact that the little girls dad had gone out (hence staying at my sister's house with her cousin) and had seen the dad out apparently taking coke. The truth of this is unknown but the little girl was safe and well at my sister's house. My brother is an acholic, drug taker himself and has been an appalling parent to his children. He has now blocked me for questioning his rant. You know what? I feel great, freed from his lunacy at long last. No longer my problem. He could never recognise his own faults.

I no longer associate with such people, don’t have the energy or the inclination !

My daughter. She's still blaming me for her failings and she's 35. I've pointed out that at some point she'll have to take responsibility and I think she knows that really, although won't admit it.

I also don't feel guilty anymore. I used to, but now I think, 'Oh get a grip.'

My sister too...exactly the same ?

No and I'm so sorry that so many of you have them.

A colleague I worked with was on my team and incredibly lazy. When I covered her work when she was away there was loads of unanswered correspondence, which I worked hard on and caught up with.

When I went away, I came back and she said mine was all up to date. In fact she'd filed it all away without looking at it. I had complaints about my lack of response!

She was one of those people who had an answer for everything and solution to nothing. I'm glad I've moved on.

My parents. We no longer speak.

My Mother, she even blamed me for her younger Brothers death, in 1944 on the beaches in France.
When I pointed out I was not even born then she said 'of course it was you, you did it to spite me'.

Like bizzlemy ex husband. Also a friend who has kindly helped to renovate my house, but if he makes a hash of something it's always someone else's fault. It drives me bonkers.