Family rows over wedding dress

M0nica I loved shopping in Reigate in the 60/70s.

Looking at pictures of beautiful, colourful wedding dresses made me want to go back in time to 1970 and do it all differently, instead of an £8 white dress from the rail in a department store. Would have to be a different man though.

Christian brides should wear white!! What a load of codswallop! Wrong on so many levels. Firstly I doubt the bride is a virgin (no disrespect but the number of virgin brides must be miniscule). Secondly, as others have said white wedding dresses were unknown until Queen Victoria chose to wear white. Other than high society who emulated the Queen most more ordinary brides wore their best dresses or suits. So that puts the tradition story to bed. I'm guessing that the OP was writing from America where Christianity is very much about being seen at church and doing what the others in the congregation thinks of them rather than living a good kind life.

A white dress once was supposed to mean the bride was 'a virgin'. Not a necessity - some have been married before e.g.Megan Markle!!! It us the bride's day hence bride's choice. Pity those that don't like her choice have nothing else to worry about!

Historically, the white wedding dress is very recent, although probably in use before Queen Victoria's wedding as the Napoleonic era saw loads and loads of white muslin dresses.

However it was in the 19th century that the white wedding gown became the emblem of purity and virginity. Before then these two supreme female virtues were signified by the bride's hair do or what she wore in it. Edelweis in Austria, orange blossom in Britain and France and myrtle in Denmark and most of Germany.

If the bride in question here is from the Bible Belt of the USA the whole row is about her not choosing to wear white and thus publicly stating that she is NOT a virgin - imagine the fuss if our grandmothers had chosen any other colour than white, or indeed if they choose white when already pregnant!

I would definitely elope if I were her!

Hellogirl1

I once saw a beautiful all black wedding dress at an exhibition, but my daughters were horrified when I suggested black for their weddings, but like has been said, Bride`s choice.
When daughter 2 went shopping for her dress, her fiance went with her, as, in his words "You`re not walking down the aisle in something I don`t like"! And she actually bought his choice!

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There was a beautiful black dress i the window of a wedding shop I walked past once. Very much the wedding style of the time when I saw, it although I suppose it could have been an evening or prom gown. Would love to have had it if I had been getting g married!!

It’s absolutely no one’s business except the bride, the mother sounds a really selfish cow.
No one else had any say on my wedding dress, I saw one I loved in a bridal magazine, went to the nearest stockist and that was that and it was cream not white as at 32 I thought pure white would be a little hypocritical but that is just my choice

It’s the bride’s day, so the bride’s choice. What business is it of anybody else. I think it’s a beautiful dress, and I hope she wears it.

Her day,her choice.
My wedding dress was red,and i had lovely comments about it.
I got married on valentines day too.

This is what makes Say Yes to the Dress so fascinating to watch; all the family disagreements with mom, sisters, bridesmaids, sometimes brothers, occasionally fathers, bridegrooms and gay best friends, all of whom have their own agenda which has very little to do with what the bride wants, or actually suits her.

I got a bit confused and thought she meant the Millais painting where the dress is covered in flowers. But have now seen the one she is making; very pretty. I would have loved that in the 1970s, gorgeous. Why do the family have a say in what she wears? Bonkers.

Well I for one didn’t like the dress and if I were the bride’s mother I would be disappointed but that would be as far as it would go.
It is the bride’s right to choose her own dress and that should be respected by all.

That's a beautiful dress, and in fact it IS very traditional - brides often wore blue back in the day in honour of the Virgin Mary. Otherwise, they were often married simply in their best clothes.

My understanding is that Callistemom is correct - white wedding gowns have only really been in vogue since Queen Victoria wore one for her own wedding.

My sister and I are both married, as are two of my brothers. So we have had four brides. Three of us wore white, and the fourth wore white with purple on the bust of her dress. All of us looked beautiful.

Well, I wouldn't choose Ophelia's dress myself (bad luck?) but she should be able to wear what she wants on her wedding day.

I think brides have only worn white since the time of Queen Victoria.

The idea of the whole family getting involved seems so weird. Surely the bride's dress should be a surprise on the wedding day? Probably her mother involved and the bridesmaids but that's all.

A few years ago I attended the wedding of a close friend who wore an amazing black dress to her wedding, she had on an amazing ‘mata hari’ type headdress and her ‘bouquet’ was an arrangement of greenery. Brides day, bride’s choice! My friend looked stunning and, as a very unconventional woman, was true to herself.

My youngest st daughter wore a red wedding dress. She looked wonderful

Our daughter went too a few bridal shops in Lancashire and I went with her and her future MIL. We had a lovely day she picked her dress and we both loved it then we had lunch. We also went to the final fitting. No arguments just a wonderful day.

God, what an hysterical load of rubbish.
One of my daughters had a red velvet medieval style dress made, with lots of gold lace, it was stunning.

What a weird family. I think it's quite magnificent that she's making the dress herself.

White is, of course, traditional but I think it is probably a long time since all brides were virgins at their weddings.

Good grief, what a family! The dress is beautiful imho, but even if it wasn’t it’s the bride and groom’s day and the dress choice should be hers alone (I personally think that extends to the bridesmaids’ dresses as well). And as for the mother leaving “crying voicemails”, has she really nothing else to worry herself about?

My, admittedly white, wedding dress was a mini dress bought for £5 in a boutique in Reigate High Street - and this for a church wedding. I had a maid of honour, who wore a suit (it was February).

I think this bride's choice of dress is lovely. I suggest she elopes with her husband and they have a wedding in a lovely flowery garden to go with the dress. Leave the rest of the family at home to continue their bickering.

I saw a young couple in Whitby who had a goth wedding. Her black dress was stunning.

I can't believe that poor bride's family are being so awful to her! What else are they going to try and dictate?

I made my own dress, which was fairly simple straight lines. My Mum was making my sister's dress, she was my bridesmaid and fifteen years old.
I told my Mum the pattern number I wanted her to use, the style went well with my dress, and said my sister could choose any colour of fabric she wanted. Back came the message that she didn't like that pattern and which one she would prefer, which was a more puffy style.
I said well when it's her wedding she can have a puffy style if she wants it, but not for mine!

When my stepson got married 15 years his bride to be picked her wedding dress and the dresses for her bridesmaids, they were beautiful fairly plain silk dresses, one of her bridesmaids was my stepdaughter (23 at the time) she hated the dress and asked the shop if she could take the dress meant for her so she could change it to suit herself (she is a decent seamstress) the shop got on to the bride to be and all he’ll let loose.

Stepdaughters mother back her up and both were promptly uninvited from the wedding. They later relented on the mother but stepson and his wife didn’t speak to his sister for 7 years after that…they did ‘thaw’ in the end.