We’re are you popular at school?

I had loads of friends at school, but got bullied by others as I was, well still am, a ginger. It was so bad I begged my mum to dye my hair, now I'm proud of it. A couple of teachers weren't very nice, my Home Economics teacher was horrible to me. Her face was a picture the day I went to get my exam results and I got my O level and her teachers pets had failed, priceless.

Kartush

I was not in the popular group of people but I had a few good friends at school and we did our own thing

Kartush , your post sums it up for me too.
I was quite happy at school, but popular -that’s something else.
Coming across one of the bullies crying with her mates in Y8 put a stop to the bullying. They begged me not to tell. I didn’t tell them I wouldn’t have told anyone anyway but they left me and my friends alone after that.
Uni was OK too but I never really wanted to be part of the in crowd.
Your last paragraph kwest is so accurate about some of the groups I belong to. Just like school!

Sadly, I was always an outsider, and view schooldays as the most unhappy period of my life! Brought up by my Grandparents, I spoke well and loved to learn, characteristics which made me unpopular with everyone except most of the teachers (which didn't help)! I found it difficult to make friends, and still do.
My grandmother moved a lot, visiting her
seven children, so I was obliged to go to a number of schools. I was almost always the "new girl" who often arrived mid-term. I was bullied regularly and was happy to leave school.

I could have written so many of these posts myself. I certainly wasn't popular; bullied at school, disliked by the teachers, and emotionally abused at home. I couldn't win on any level, and yes, it still affects me today, I still have nightmares and flashbacks.

What surprises me most is that people can't understand why I choose to be a loner and have as little to do with the human race as possible.

My goodness! some of these lads had the gift of the gab didn’t they Kerenhappuch not …. now where is that sarcasm emoji ? Simply charm personified they were

The patch was over the good eye!
Some teachers were bullies now I come to think of it.
One music master disliked me intensely (I could sing but he never chose me for solos despite the clamour from other kids and often threw chalk at me)
Another said to me scathingly after I sang a solo at a school concert ‘Who do you think you are?”??
So no encouragement there.

Don’t remember being one or the other, just one of the kids.
I had a patch over one lazy eye for a time, which led to Long John Silver jokes, but nothing too hurtful.
I could draw and drew caricatures of teachers which went down well and being rather studious, I could help out if someone was stuck (apart from maths).

No, I wasn’t popular. I was bullied by my teacher for the whole of my last year at junior school, and it left me feeling that everybody thought I was stupid. They probably didn’t think that, but I carried those feelings with me until about 5 years ago. Even as an adult I thought that if people were kind to me it was because they felt sorry for me. Then I found a good counsellor and began to realise that my friends actually liked me! So I now have a few real friends who I trust.

Anyway, back to school. My sister is one year older than me and very clever. I had a few high school teachers who would say things like “I’d expect A’s sister to do better than that”, which was awful and made me give up and not work. So, not popular with the children because I couldn’t trust them, and not popular with the teachers because I wasn’t my sister. Such fun! Only my English teacher liked me and so I worked hard in his classes.

Somewhere in the middle I think.
I do know that I was relieved when I left.
Many years later (I am a therapeutic counsellor) my supervisor did a psychological test with me where he read out certain words and I wrote them in the colour I felt was appropriate to the word.
When he looked at the results the first thing he said was you were not particularly happy at school were you?
I had not given it much thought as I am a sort of move on and not dwell too much on the past kind of person.
I did instantly connect with his words though. I had used grey as the colour for any word related to school. I think it was the peer pressure to fit in. I don't like having to be told what I can or cannot do. Oddly years later,for a number of years I worked in many schools as a peripatetic counsellor with students from 4 years to 18 years and thoroughly enjoyed it.
As I have got older I have found in joining various interest groups that the group dynamic is very much like being at school. The same manipulation, bullying and need to control
comes out in people and the other side where people become victimised, are placatory and almost frightened of their own shadow. At least as grown ups we can decide to walk away.

No. I had a small group of friends, I suppose we were all unpopular! I met a boy from my year in a pub when I was at university and said hello to him, he actually said to me for some reason ‘You weren’t exactly popular at school, we’re you?’ (I guess he felt he had been!) That haunted me for many years, as I hadn’t realised that was how others saw me - and also because it felt really cruel, almost as if he was scared of being seen talking to me!

Exactly the se for me, I used to get ridiculed for being overweight which made me unpopular, it was an unhappy time.

I went to a girls' grammar school after passing the 11plus. From the start I was made fun of for being overweight and only had one real friend who was similar. Being bright and doing well didn't help either. The popular girls were the ones who made fun of others and bragged about their exploits outside of school. The effects of this are still with me, making me feel inferior, and even though the excess weight has gone I still see myself as fat.

I was not in the popular group of people but I had a few good friends at school and we did our own thing

I was a terrible swot, a pedant, a rules fanatic and very uncool until the 6th form when I excelled in school plays and acquired a boyfriend with an MG. I was never very popular but I wasn’t a sneak and I think I was liked by my classmates, who I remember very fondly. We were all trying to work out who we were, at different speeds…

I loved school, fortunately. It would have been awful if I hadn't because we were out in the sticks so it was that one or none. Don't think I was particularly unpopular, had a daft nickname which had followed me from Primary School so I was probably seen as a bit of a comedian. Think that's how lots of people get through. So glad to miss the 11-plus, my brother did it and he was a nervous wreck. It was a horrible pressure on children that age, but it was stopped just in time for me.

I was small quiet and useless at sports. Not popular, didn't have friends and couldn't wait to leave . I hated school.

Maggiemaybe

^Judging a child of 11 on one mornings test was so unfair!!! The 11+ examination had ruined many lives.^

Some recent posts on my Facebook Old Girls' group reminded me that there were 12+, 13+ and 14+ exams for entry to my grammar school. I wonder how many educational authorities offered these? DH is pretty certain that the 11+ was your only chance to get into grammar school in his area. My school had a designated form in each year for the girls who joined us later - I'm assuming they had different lessons to catch them up with the curriculum.

To answer the question, I'd say I was one of the popular ones at my small primary school, but tootled along with my own friends, like Niobe, at secondary level, and was very happy with that. I was never going to be head girl!

There is another similar thread today about failing the 11+. You may read that but am repeating some of it here. Failing certainly didn't ruin my life - the opposite I think. I felt more comfortable at the Secondary Modern. I had good friends and presumably was popular as for some reason I became Head Girl and believe pupils had a vote in that too. I've always felt comfortable in the company of both men and women and think going to a mixed school helped that.

I failed my 11+ as I was ill for one of the tests (Measles or one of the other things we caught as a kid).
I therefore went to Joseph Rowntree Secondary Modern School - mixed pupils and it was brilliant, as were the teachers. Our year was the first to do a foreign language - French - and our teacher was a Professor from York University who took us to the "Language Lab" at York University every week. At 12 we did a 6 week exchange visit, living with a family and going to school with them. Did another one couple of years later.
The reason I stress this is I then did a 13+ and although I passed there wasn't a place at one of the Grammar Schools (in hindsight thank God for that.) For A levels I had to go to a Girls Grammar School and I hated it. You were looked down on by some pupils as you had "only" been to a Secondary Modern and the method of teaching was totally alien to me. After being top of the class most years in French I only just passed my A level because of the way it was taught. Some pupils used to say strange things like "how did you work with boys there" ?? often wondered how they turned out.
Despite "only" going to a Secondary Modern I became a Chartered Librarian and my last job before retiring was Managing a Schools Library Service for 4 authorities - my sister who also went to the same Sec Mod was a Solicitor.
On a passing note my friend passed her 11 + and went to Grammar and always felt she was behind.

I was very quiet at School but I did have a few close friends and got on well with everyone else. I didn't have any problems with anyone, but as I didn't put myself forward for anything I would not have expected to be at the top of the popularity charts.

No, I was not popular with either teachers or other pupils, and I was bullied. It was an awful situation which scarred me alot. I have been bullied in the workplace too which I think stems from school days. Sometimes you have victim on your forehead! I managed to obtain some qualifications but I have always had problems fitting in.

Hated school, at 9 I went to a different school, in town rather than our estate and was bullied from day 1. This continued when I went to secondary school too, and I left in desperation at 16. I later gained 3 degrees and taught in college and the local prison, wish I'd been able to do it when I was young though

I went to a Girls Convent School and was neither popular nor unpopular. I had my friends we were three of us, but nobody bothered with us much.It was so different when I went to Nurse Training School it broadened my horison.

I had friends at school but I wouldn’t say I was popular I just mingled in the background I suppose
I’m pretty much the same now I have a couple of close friends but I wouldn’t say I’m popular now, I don’t really know what I do wrong I’m friendly to people I meet but there goes hay ho

No always the deviant and still am today. Never bothered by others opinions of me. That’s their business not mine.

After being quite popular at primary school, it was different when I passed an entrance exam for a "posh" school. From then my life divided between school - where I kept myself to myself and never gave any clue as to what home was like. Sports/PE was not a problem after I absented myself from them when teacher was rude about my shorts being unpressed. Not a big deal except it hit a raw nerve because home was hard in comparison with those of other pupils with alcoholic dad, depressed mum, small siblings and no money for electricity hence unpressed shorts. So small group of "nearly friends". To be honest I felt a bit of contempt for the "in group" who seemed to have butterfly minds.

I was so quiet at school that I don't think they ever knew I was there. I didn't have many friends as I only started the school in S4 and left in S6.