A few minutes of tv . I am now an arch-criminal

Totally agree. Your house — your rules.
I always took into account my daughters requests when looking after her two children from a very young age Although it was not always possible to stick to them I did my best. I live 500 miles away so my my time with my grandchildren is very concentrated over a period of 2/3 weeks.
It is totally exhausting looking after babies/toddlers and when they get older it does get easier.
I started in my mid fifties and I’m now 63.
As long as your grandchild is safe, cared for, fed and happy is all that matters in my opinion.
My mantra is when my grandchildren are with me it’s Gran’s rules. When they are with their parents/other grandparents it’s their rules.

A lot depends on how old the toddler is. Current guidelines recommend no screen time at all under 2. I pretty much stuck to that with my son, who is now 8.

Between 2 and 7, 20 minutes a day is appropriate, if the screen time is suitable.

So if Granny sticks the 18 month old in front of the TV, yeah, Granny is wrong. But a 3 year old is different. However, the parents' direct instructions should be followed. If Granny doesn't want to follow the rules, Granny doesn't need to watch the child.

Claiming you know it all because you raised your kids is irrelevant. Times have changed, and today's world has different rules and different problems. Grandparents make better carers if they keep up to date and follow the parents instructions.

But better people if they don't accept being patronised by parents who are too tight to pay for the kind of care they desire.

Your house, you decide, if they are insistent then I would tell them that next time he askes nicely I will tell him mummy and daddy say no. Then when he plays up because he's not allowed then it's their fault not your's.

I do agree with respecting wishes but it’s equally important his parents understand your needs I.e. you need a bit of a breather during your stint of looking after him - I feel a chat is required!

What happens grandmas stays at grandmas. Free childminding. They should be grateful. Also if you need 20 mins to have a cuppa and chill you are allowed to put a suitable program on

Wow they are unbelievably cheeky, you are wonderful for helping them out. It’s exhausting but rewarding having grandchildren.

We looked after 3 dgc from babies up until they started grammar school for two days each week. We were trusted to do as we thought best. And tv was certainly not banned but also not used as a baby sitter.
They are fabulously rounded loving and biddable kids and in the top 1% of their year. We are so proud of them.
And mum and dad have never objected to our methods. Most appreciative.

Frankly I would politely suggest to them that they make alternative child care arrangements if they don’t consider your standards good enough

Is the time with your grandchild mostly enjoyable or mostly a chore? If you do enjoy a lot of it then you have to work out what you are prepared to put up with from the parents, but definitely I would not stand for being told off in my own home. Either work out what you feel able to cope with i.e. perhaps still 3 days a week but a lesser time each day, or one less day, whichever makes more sense for you and not decided by the parents timetable. Then you can politely offer to still do whatever you feel happy doing but make it clear that to continue with the present timetable they must be prepared for you to do things in the way that provides safety and pleasure for both you and the grand child. If they do not like the situation then they should look at other child care, when they will quickly find out how lucky they have been having all the help and care you have given. Then you can return to the role of granny /grandchild. When my son was little we lived nowhere near any relatives and I did not expect them to bale me out. I got together with other parents and we organised some mutual help with children between ourselves and it was just a pleasure to have time with grannies . I know many people do have to rely on their parents for help but they do need to accept that as we are getting older we need to behave in perhaps different ways than we did 10 years ago. I hope that sorting this out makes the parents thankful for all you do do and leads to a better relationship for you all

If they want you to provide (free?) childcare, it should be on YOUR terms. We all grew up with TV and not all of us are brain dead or convicted criminals!

What a cheek. We looked after our granddaughter regularly when she was growing up. She watched a fair bit of TV. We didn't use it as a baby sitter but let her watch it. She has just graduated from uni and has a really good job. She is clever, polite and kind.

Oldmom. So rude. Patronising. Narrow minded.

20 minutes per day at age 5 6 or 7 ??? In an ideal world with limitless resources and energy maybe.
My grandchildren read loads di a lot of creative and physical
Activity but they
Still watch more than that.. not every day but often. And speaking as a retired teacher i can tell you they doing fine

Exactly Lucca. I'm sure the OP is much more than 'granny'.

Hear Hear! Chewbacca.

I haven’t read all the posts, but as a direct response to you, I would be saying ‘ no’ to anymore, unless you knew this from the outset, and didn’t discuss first. It’s not something I would have agreed to though.

I looked after my eldest grandchild for three days a week, and I was only 54. If I hadn’t have had tv time, I couldn’t have done it. When she first came to me she was 9 months old, and having two sleeps a day. She was going to nursery when I finished. Tv time started around 2 years I think, after the lunchtime sleep, ( about an hour). I used to walk all over with her, and needed the break.

Needless to say, she is 9 now, and bright as a button. If the parents don’t want this, then they should find alternative care.

Ps, the tv time was usually Disney, and the same films! We used to enjoy singing all the songs together. Children can learn a lot from the tv.

Seems like a first child rule to me. I had the same one with my first, as did my AC with DGC1. We all relented a bit with child 2! I do think they need a gentle reminder that you are 70 and 3 and you both need a short rest and a cuddle at the end of the day. Also at 70 you are far too old to be told off so better manners from them would be appreciated and it would be better to think about the reason first and suggest an alternative solution to TV if they can suggest one, as someone said earlier. I am 5 years younger than you, look after DGC for differing periods of time most weekdays, and we have TV on for 20 mins after tea, while we are waiting for Daddy, because we all need chill out time without falling asleep. Congratulations in contributing to a polite and well-behaved DGC, I think you are doing marvellous work - and it is work.

I agree with others . Recently I was asked to have my grandchildren to sleepover for two nights instead of one and I said sorry it is too much for me . So don,t mention the tV watching just say you have been finding 3 days very tiring and would like to cut down to two or whatever you feel able to enjoy. It is then up to them to find a solution .

As my daughter would say, your house your rules.

oldmum, what about the needs of the granny.

How patronising some folk are and how frightened of a few minutes television. British made programmes for small ones are very cleverly designed to enhance cognitive development. Peppa for a few minutes a day has expanded my little DGS's vocabulary hugely. We watch it together and discuss and laugh throughout! Parents should give huge gratitude and thanks to you. It's amazing what you are doing. They are ungrateful and ignorant if they think TV is the devil incarnate. Let them pay a professional if they want to play the big I am!

Sorry Mittens Mum, that probably doesn't really help as I expect you want to keep seeing him, but with a less rigid dictat. Do explain you look after him as best you can, love him hugely, but suggest that perhaps a few minutes television when he's too tired to do other things is helpful for you to both recharge your batteries. Good luck. Plus, I still think they need knocking off their high horses ?

So if Granny sticks the 18 month old in front of the TV, yeah, Granny is wrong. But a 3 year old is different. However, the parents' direct instructions should be followed. If Granny doesn't want to follow the rules, Granny doesn't need to watch the child.

Claiming you know it all because you raised your kids is irrelevant. Times have changed, and today's world has different rules and different problems. Grandparents make better carers if they keep up to date and follow the parents instructions.

Times haven't just changed for you oldmom; they've also changed for grandparents too. We're doing you a favour in looking after your children for free so that you can go about your business. We don't have to do this you know. We have hobbies, jobs of our own, friends to see and club memberships to attend; we've done our time of child raising and so what were doing for you now is a favour. You have every right to dictate how many minutes you child sits in front of a tv screen; you have every right to demand that your child is fed to your specific requirements. But not when your leaving your child in my care, at my house, in my time. Go and pay a professional the going rate for that.

Today's world does have different rules and these are ours!

Well said chewbacca