A few minutes of tv . I am now an arch-criminal

You are a lovely Gran, I am with the other posters, if the parents do not like it jog on. Three days a week is alot of free childcare.
20 minutes tv at that age is not alot, he asked nicely and he got rewarded. You then could have a break.
Blossoming you may have not meant to criticise when you said the OP went against the parents wishes, I would say tough, what about the Grans wishes, she is 70, tired, but also in charge of this child, like others said if they do not like it they should find alternative childcare, and then see the dent childcare makes in their monthly pay.

I am living with my youngest DD while my house purchase goes through, and I am co parenting 3 children, 2 under 5! so I completely get why TV will be on for a while!
I find looking after the children absolutely exhausting! and am only in my late 50’s (though recovering from cancer) I am also working part time from home and I am afraid the gold standard isnt always apparent here? I would tell them that if they want free child care in this way then they have to let you do things your way!
I do find that many AC expect an awful lot of child care help in a way that we never did And yes, I also worked full time so could have done with help, but it never occurred to us to ask for this level of help nor was it offered??‍♀️ So I think a bit of appreciation if your efforts is called for rather than a telling off!

Oh gawd! Looking after toddlers can be very hard work, goodness me you haven’t let him loose in the goody cupboard, ( if they have got one) 20 mins out of a full day is nothing, I bet he loved it and you too, having the chance to relax for few mins, I would be reducing the hours sadly! And I wouldn’t be allowing any of my AC to give me a right royal telling off for looking after their child! Quite honestly I think you are doing well 3 full days a week at 70 years old also don’t feel guilty for admitting to your lapse as you put it, you wanted the little one to watch a tv programme and he had asked so nicely, I think they need to cut a bit of slack here, and appreciate what you are doing for them

Perhaps your GS's parents should write out a schedule of his daily activities they expect you to provide. Once having a look just tell them you are not a professional nanny and they should seek what they are looking for elsewhere. 3 days a week, no doubt free and you are not allowed a 20 minute sit down even in the company of the child I would be withdrawing help or at least reducing help to one day a week.

I work in childcare and twenty minutes tv is not a problem. Being told off is after free childcare!

Sometimes grandparents are afraid to speak up for fear of causing a rift or being stopped from seeing their grandchildren, so they put up with all sorts. I know several who have done this.

How true, with all the NC stuff its a constant worry for many

Don't be upset MittensMum.. My daughter reacted just the same, many years ago with her 1st child who was then a toddler. I was well and truly told off. 12 months later she had her 2nd child and all the TV rules disappeared. Her eldest is now nearly 17 and over the years I have been subjected to countless recriminations over this and that, things I have done incorrectly to her way of thinking. Close your ears and remind her you managed somehow to raise her. Cheeky Madam

They are taking the mick…if you are looking after their child you are entitled to do it your way. If they don’t like it, get them to find another mug to provide free childcare!

Chewbacca

Repeat after me:

Your House; Your Rules. My House; My Rules. Don't agree with it? Find someone else to look after your child for free.

This was just what I was going to say. Three days a week is a big chunk of your time.
If they do not like it tell them to find a childminder and see if they offer the service free or what they charge per hour.
They both need to apologise to you.

How dare they! And what is wrong with a little TV? I have enjoyed watching some of the programmes with my GC - Peppa Pig became a firm favourite as the stories were amusing and often made strong points about manners, consideration and so on. I have also hugely enjoyed some of the films that are made for children. I would get very cross indeed about being told off for doing what you have done - how ungrateful they are, and lacking in consideration for you.

I try my very best to respect my adult children's / their wives' instructions regarding childcare, but there are limits to what I can physically and mentally cope with. I find it exhausting, and sometimes do exactly what you did, for the sake of my own well-being.
Luckily, they don't mind. In fact, I find that allowing one DGC a bit of TV after lunch helps me settle her (and sometimes me!) for a nap afterwards, something that she has long refused to do at home, even though they would like her to!

I am absolutely with those who have said that if the parents cannot accept what you feel you can do, and allow you some flexibility, they should pay a professional to do the job!

MittensMum

I just had a right royal telling off for letting my toddler grandson watch 20 minutes of children’s tv after he had behaved beautifully all day and asked very nicely.
I received a lecture on respecting his parents’ wishes and will now be blamed for all his temper tantrums for the rest of the day and for the problems he will cause at bedtime.
I am nearly 70 and look after him all day three days a week.
I now wish I hadn’t admitted to my lapse but really needed to sit down quietly for a while.

'He asked nicely to watch TV' That tells me he watches TV when hes at home!!!

Maybe suggest to your daughter that she finds an afternoon nursery, because you are too exhausted to look after him all day.

I looked after my GC from 9 months, We went to various babyclubs each morning, home for lunch then they fell asleep watching CBBs. My only orders were, please don't let them sleep past 2.30...lol

Be strong and don't let your daughter guilt trip you..

Def Jog on, they are being very unreasonable

Good grief when I first became a grandparent I was still under 60 and I found it tiring then, so ten years on, I can only imagine, three days a week, that's a lot. They don't seem to appreciate how much time you are giving in time at an age when child minding the very young is extremely tiring. I think they have a cheek criticising you, haven't read all the posts yet but will go back and do that now.

If we had our grandchildren for the day when they were toddlers, we often sat down together to watch something like The Gruffalo or Stick Man for some quiet time usually after an outdoor activity, we needed that interlude as much as they did! Frankly their parents were grateful and were happy to let us set our own agenda.

My daughter knows I spoil my grandson, that's partly why she asked me to stay one week a year. I don't break serious rules, but sweets/ice cream/screen time I am flexible with and if daughter doesn't like it I'll not stay again.

Professional childminders locally charge £4.50 per hour per child.
So a quick calculation will show the OP how much money she is saving her grandson's parents each week.

We use the television sparingly in my setting and I'm very conscious of what they watch. During the school holidays the five children here are ages 3 to 9 years.
Our current favourite programmes are the wonderful animations of some of the Julia Donaldson stories on the Amazon Prime channel.
The younger ones enjoy the Super Simple phonics and numbers songs on YouTube.

We all enjoyed watching some of the Olympic events (especially the swimming as most of them have lessons), seeing the Union Jack being raised and hearing our national anthem.

Used wisely, television can be a window to the wider world and expand children's horizons.

Chewbacca

So if Granny sticks the 18 month old in front of the TV, yeah, Granny is wrong. But a 3 year old is different. However, the parents' direct instructions should be followed. If Granny doesn't want to follow the rules, Granny doesn't need to watch the child.

Claiming you know it all because you raised your kids is irrelevant. Times have changed, and today's world has different rules and different problems. Grandparents make better carers if they keep up to date and follow the parents instructions.

Times haven't just changed for you oldmom; they've also changed for grandparents too. We're doing you a favour in looking after your children for free so that you can go about your business. We don't have to do this you know. We have hobbies, jobs of our own, friends to see and club memberships to attend; we've done our time of child raising and so what were doing for you now is a favour. You have every right to dictate how many minutes you child sits in front of a tv screen; you have every right to demand that your child is fed to your specific requirements. But not when your leaving your child in my care, at my house, in my time. Go and pay a professional the going rate for that.

Today's world does have different rules and these are ours!

Yes agree with all of that Chewbacca, if MittensMum has been asked to look after her grandchild for 3 days a week by the parents, absolutely a favour and not a small one either!

Sorry you’ve been made to feel like this. You’re looking after a very young child three days a week, and they told you off! Flabbergasted!

Also. What is wrong with a child watching TV or a DVD? Some of my best childhood memories are post school telly, with a snack. The Monkees! Bewitched! Blue Peter! I turned out ok.

We didn’t have a tv when I was a toddler. But my children watched all sorts when little. Postman Pat etc. They’ve also turned out fine. We all need, at every age, some downtime. TV can provide that perfectly.

The average cost of sending a child under two to a nursery for 25 hours per week (part time) has risen to £7,160 in 2021, compared to £6,800 in 2020. A part-time childminder place is on average £6,150 a year in 2021, which is similar to the amount parents could expect to pay in 2020.9 Jun 2021

Thanks MissAdventure, I'm drafting an invoice for my DS & DIL now!

They'll appreciate that, I'm sure.

Is it extra if it was a sleepover?

I'm not sure, but I'll say yes, just to stir the pot a bit, as it were.

Excellent! How much for 2 days full care, feeding them 3 meals per day, plus snacks, 2 sleepovers, entertainment and petrol costs? And can I charge them for the child seats for my car? Swimming pool charges? Cinema tickets? Popcorn? A trip to the charity shop to buy new jigsaws and boxed games? The bottle of gin I need when they've gone home?