Weddings where children are not invited

To be honest I can’t stand children running around at weddings or parties. When I got married over 40 years ago I wouldn’t have children then and I had a 5 year old sister (who was bridesmaid but went to a neighbour for the evening). I didn’t want children running about on the dance floor being overly tired and hot annoying people and ruining the day so I sympathise with the bride and groom and if I was to have a wedding in this day and age I still wouldn’t want them there. Plus the expense of feeding and entertaining them is astronomical these days. There is nothing worse than going to a wedding or party where the kids have taken over the dance floor or tired and irritable.

Sorry, its up to the couple it is their wedding.Ones l have attended the children just skid across the dance floor nearly upending adults who are brave enough to get up and dance.
Plus children get bored rigid by the service, cry and generally cause mayhem!

My son an daughter in law are getting married ( finally after two COVID cancellations) .
They have invited close families children ( 4 are bridesmaids and 1 groomsman) but not friends children. For a sit down reception for 100 guests to include everyone’s children would either mean you have to cut down on adult numbers or increase by up to a third. I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask adults without their children.

I’m very proud to recall that at my wedding reception in a very stiff Pall Mall “gentleman’s club” one of our friends blithely breastfed her baby on a sofa. Nobody batted an eyelid

Children don't necessarily want to go to big family "do's" whether they know the couple or not. They have to be quiet during the ceremony, and would much prefer to be out playing.

I think we have to realise that whilst weddings in our childhood and when most of us married, were family occasions where children were naturally included, things have changed.

Very many adults have no experience with children until and unless they have their own. For these couples it isn't really a natural thought to include children in a formal celebration.

Then too, the couple may not want children themselves, and that being so probably don't think of including them.

Weddings just now are big affairs, apeing royal weddings or Hollywood celebrity style dos.

Whatever we may feel about this, it is up to the couple inviting the guests to decide the guest list.

My stepdaughter had a big fancy wedding and insisted on no children. As most of her cousins already had them, most took offence and refused to attend. Now that she has two girls of her own, she really regrets that she did this.

When we got married we decided no kids because one lot on my OH's side were so badly behaved. Those were the only parents who insisted on bringing their kids, and yes they played up.

If there were no such things as children there would be no need for weddings.

Yes, I disagree. Quite strongly.

I have friends who married in their sixties. I have (many) married friends who like me are child-free by choice. I have friends who are married and who cannot have biological children.

I do wonder if people who say things like "weddings are all about children" realise just how offensive they are being to married people who don't have children?

If there were no such things as children there would be no need for weddings. They originated as a public announcement that the couple are together and any children they have will be their joint responsibility. Children is what it's all.about, though I am sure many will.disagree. Weddings have strayed from.their origins these days.

When my children were small, I looked on an invitation to a wedding with no children as a bit of a blessing& happily left them behind with my parents for the day. I certainly would not have disappeared for a whole weekend away though without them. My own sister’s first wedding was a nightmare with other relatives’ small children. Parents refusing to discipline the youngsters and permitting them to fool around on the dance floor whilst the newlyweds were attempting to have their special first dance. Absolutely disrespectful in my opinion. Young children can get extremely overtired and I think should not be crying and lying under tables at an evening party just because the parents have the fear of missing out. Take the tots home, get a babysitter then rejoin the party later. Children under a certain age have no place at an evening reception. The expense of inviting children to a day reception can be crippling too, because more often than not they waste the food and the bride& groom or parents are having to fork out a lot of money for this food to be wasted. I sat next to small children at a family wedding in Greece and the one child didn’t touch a single thing on her plate, the other younger boy was permitted to rip up the baskets of bread nearby that were placed for all to eat. His mother just laughed and pretended to scold him but nobody wanted to touch delicious looking bread that had been fiddled with by a four year old who’s hands had been goodness only knows where. It’s a tough call but if I had my choice I would not invite small children to a wedding, unless I knew that the parents could keep control on their behaviour.

Bottom line it is the bride's choice. Surely the couples make the choice together? It isn't just the bride's day with the groom making up the numbers. And don't forget there are same sex marriages too, with some there is no bride!

I agree totally with the no children at weddings idea.
Firstly the cost, children's menu/meals usually are around half the cost of the adult meal at a wedding, and very often end up being something like sausage and chips or chicken dippers, which 9/10 is left uneaten.

Babies who are unsettled, cry out and ruin the vows, and ceremony, there's always a parent rocking a fractious child.

Toddlers are out of their comfort zone and get bored very very quickly.

Parents become frazzled, and really don't enjoy the day and can't enjoy it as a couple, because one of them is always on child watch!

I think parents should be allowed the odd child-free day, and more importantly the bride and groom!

I think it is very much an individual bride's choice about including/excluding children. Sometimes it is because of the worry about young children in church being bored and also at a reception being tired/bored. Perhaps they couple come from a very large family of young children and it would offend some if theirs were not invited or the opposite a very small family where there are few young children so feel it's easier not to invite them. Bottom line it is the bride's choice.

It's odd how other people's children are very badly behaved, and if they were yours they'd be quite different!! Until, if course, they are yours and you realise what a silly you've been to judge like that. Having said that perhaps it does depend a little bit what kind of occasion it is and the age of the children. My first wedding was in a church, a very long service, very formal and my sister's new baby screamed relentlessly through the whole service until my BIL took her out, and then she could be heard outside in the graveyard still yelling to wake the dead. My poor sis, who was my matron of honour, was mortified because her breasts started leaking through her lovely silk dress! The marriage must have been cursed by this because it didn't last. My second marriage was a much jollier occasion, by then my sis had three children, all our friends had several and the reception - in my darling mother's garden - was like a riot in a creche! Fabulous!

Personally, I don't want to live in a sanitised 'bubble' where everything is organised to agree with me and my world view.

From no children at my wedding to anti-social narcissist in one fell swoop

A wedding should be a celebration with the whole family including children, children are part of the family !!

Looking at my wedding photos, ours was an almost no children wedding because apart from my much younger sister and brother who were bridesmaid and page (he didn’t want to be left out), there weren’t any children to ask.
My DD asked what I thought because now it would be really expensive. If her daughter wanted to invite aunts and uncles and cousins and their families (we are quite close), there would be over a dozen children as well as the adults and then there’s the bride and groom’s friends and their children.
Financially that’s appalling, but who do you leave out?

Instead of thinking "what a shame the children aren't invited" think that for some parents the idea of being "child free" is a relief...Why does the "no children at wedding" always have to be so negative??

Of course I agree that it is the couples' choice. But in my culture, we include family of all ages, abilities, strange views and oddities - because they are family. Some might choose not to attend for various reasons
Personally, I don't want to live in a sanitised 'bubble' where everything is organised to agree with me and my world view.
But I have no great opinion about how others organise their lives and celebrations.

I think its the bride and groom's choice and no one else's

That children who are the future of families should not figure in these events reduces them to not much more than a cocktail party if anyone has those any more.

You seem to be mistaking a solemn event for 2 people who are being joined together for life, for a nice knees up.

I look at my wedding photos and remember the people who were there but are no longer with us.

Invite who you like to a wedding, but don't criticise those of us who think its no place for a child. But then I'm child free in life in general, so I'm used to people thinking its OK to criticise me when it comes to children.

Weddings are about the couples special day and what they want. My daughter is getting married in September and her dad is upset as she is not inviting her cousins, she never sees or has nothing in common with. She wants her friends there. As she is paying its her choice and I've told my husband to get over it

A wedding is a historic landmark event for both families with the photos to be looked at over and over again. Not for nothing did there used to be Births, Deaths and Marriages columns in newspapers. That children who are the future of families should not figure in these events reduces them to not much more than a cocktail party if anyone has those any more. Aunt will not be able to say to nephew, Here we are at your wedding, I remember how you cried at mine. That way the whole family is bound together by shared memories.

Relieved I mean!