Gransnet forums

Chat

Do you think 4 children is a ‘big family?’

(145 Posts)
Kandinsky Mon 16-Aug-21 08:50:52

I’ve got 4 dc and I’m still amazed at the reaction I get when I tell some people.
My mum was one of 12! grin
My own view is anything 6+ is a big family.

What are your thoughts?

Lewie Tue 17-Aug-21 11:57:35

Yes, certainly these days. I was one of four, but it felt like being one of two as there was 8 years between the first two, and my brother and I (definite mistakes!) grin

Cs783 Tue 17-Aug-21 11:54:18

I’m one of four so when a pregnant mum of three told me she was expecting I said oh 4 children what a lovely round number.

She said yes but it’s going to make 6 - nature gave her triplets! (She made a great job of it too).

Tempest Tue 17-Aug-21 11:53:43

Yes I do.

Alioop Tue 17-Aug-21 11:52:05

My mum had 4 of us, also her first baby died after 36 hrs and she had a miscarriage after me, I'm the youngest, so there could of been 6 of us. The house was crazy mad with 4 fighting and argumentative girls in it. My dad had 5 siblings, my mum 7, but how things change as I never had any children and neither did my sister.

Annaram1 Tue 17-Aug-21 11:52:03

4 is quite large for a British family but small for families in Africa and India, where resources may be limited to start with.

Welshwife Tue 17-Aug-21 11:49:09

DH has a GD with six children - eldest is 8 and the youngest a couple of months. Before any of these little beauties she had a couple of miscarriages. They are lovely affectionate and caring children and she has really flourished as a mother.

Antonia Tue 17-Aug-21 11:35:20

over population is the biggest threat to the world’s resources, but will never be a popular message.
Agreed. Climate change is well underway, one of the reasons being too many people using ever dwindling resources.
For the sake of the planet, it's best not to contribute to more humans needing their share of food, water, electricity and goods which are shipped halfway across the world.
I don't mean to upset those who come from large families themselves, but for young people today, it's something to bear in mind when planning a family.

timetogo2016 Tue 17-Aug-21 11:33:18

My Dh has 12 children,when we got together i bought him a telly but the bugger keeps turning it off.
I was one of 5 and yes i think 4 is a large family.

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 17-Aug-21 11:27:08

Yes, 4 is plenty, more than 4 a large family!!

Childofthe60s Tue 17-Aug-21 11:25:25

We have 4 children, which my mother often felt the need to comment on. I was one of 3 children. My husband was one of 5 children and his father was one of 14. So to his side of the family, 4 was considering a conservative number.

icanhandthemback Tue 17-Aug-21 11:25:00

We have 6 children between us and we are a large family; I love it. My husband is an only child so he has spent most of his adult life being shell shocked. grin. Our children mainly have one or two children and don't intend to have any more. Only one of them wants another child but I think that they suffered a stillbirth of a daughter and that my DIL is trying in some way to fill that hole.

Aepgirl Tue 17-Aug-21 11:19:50

Being a mum of only one, I think anything over 2 is a large family these days.
My mother was one of 8, but of course there was no birth control in the early 1900s.

sundowngirl Tue 17-Aug-21 11:09:08

I think 4 is a large family my mum was one of 13, but there was no contraception in those days. She always said "make 2 do" I was an only child as my parents couldn't afford any more. We had 2 children and they have 2 children each too. The world is vastly overpopulated as it is

Witzend Tue 17-Aug-21 10:38:17

I don’t think four was seen as particularly big in the 50s and 60s - dh and I were both one of four. But having said that, most of my schoolfriends were from families of 2 or 3 children.

Newquay Tue 17-Aug-21 09:33:27

My Mum was one of 6 surviving; Dad also one of 6-his mother died in childbirth when he was 12; he never spoke about it but I know they were all in poverty. I’m one of 2; we had a brother who died aged 13 months at the beginning of WW2-very sad. DH was eldest of 6-not a happy family at all even now in adulthood. Don’t know why they had 6-think his Mum liked to stay at home but there was no affection. We have 2 DD; would have liked more but you have to be realistic I think; bigger house, car etc-fortunately with birth control we had the choice. DD1 has 4-they started young, had 2 close together then 10 years later, she says like the Queen, had another batch of 2! They are a very happy family and can easily afford them. DD2 married much later and has 2.

nanna8 Tue 17-Aug-21 00:59:18

We have 4 children. I was an only child and didn’t want to have that again. If my children fall out ( pretty rare these days ) I remind them what a privilege it is to have siblings. My mum was one of 10 and all those children had either 1,2 or no kids- some sort of reaction? We fostered 2 children for a while. I just used to love having a house full of children and their friends.

Hellogirl1 Mon 16-Aug-21 23:01:28

I have 5, it didn`t seem like a big family at the time, each new one just fitted in. Daughter 3 likes to say she`s the middle one, 3rd from top and 3rd from bottom.

SueDonim Mon 16-Aug-21 20:40:30

I think you’re right, DinahMo about the poor mothers. My grandfather’s mother died at less than 50, after eight children and when her youngest was just 5yo. She also looked after parents on one side. My GF said she was worked to death. sad

CanadianGran Mon 16-Aug-21 19:47:34

I think for today's parents, 4 is considered a big family. Parenting has changed; they are now more involved in school and extracurricular activities than our parents were, plus more mothers work outside of the house now. You would have to buy a bus, since children need to stay in cars-seats until they reach 85 lbs (here in Canada); the average car can fit only 2 car seats.

AGAA4 Mon 16-Aug-21 19:47:08

I had 4 children. 2 had 2 children each and the other 2 had 1 each.
I think 4 children would be considered s big family these days.

Dinahmo Mon 16-Aug-21 19:46:17

I'm he eldest of 4, born in 1947. My mum was one of 4 and my dad an only child. My DH's parents both came from large families - 9 children in one and 7 in the other.

My paternal GN thought my parents were wrong having 4 (all born before they reached 30) My siblings and I didn't get on too well once I'd and my eldest brother reached our teens and I have no contact with my two brothers.

I do feel sorry for all those poor women who had such large families. The lives of most of them cannot have have been that good.

Oldbat1 Mon 16-Aug-21 19:32:46

We just had 2 (thank goodness as too many people in world) DH is one of 4. I’m 1 of 2. Mum was from family of 8 and dad from family of 13. DD has 3 (hopefully no more) and other D has 0.

downtoearth Mon 16-Aug-21 19:02:18

Eldest of two, always wanted the big happy family didnt happen due to difficult pregnancies.
I mop up all the sad,looking for family kids,and mother them,as well as my DGD from my deceased daughter

Kandinsky Mon 16-Aug-21 18:56:26

I remember my mum saying she was sure her mum didn’t want 12 children but ‘she had no choice’ - that’s so sad.

SueDonim Mon 16-Aug-21 18:47:36

I was at school with a girl who was one of fourteen. Her oldest brothers were in the army and they had children themselves who were older than the youngest siblings!

My mum’s friend had eight children, seven girls and one boy, who was the sixth or seventh child. The parents had just wanted a large family and money was no object so they had eight babies. The parents are dead now, as is one child, and sadly the remaining seven are riven by arguments and estrangements. sad