Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall?

To me the answer is obvious: they were not taught, as I was, that making personal remarks is rude.

I am 5 ft 2, so for years had to put up with remarks about "short people" quoting a song that basically says short people have no reason for living.

Redheads are another group that have to put up with personal remarks too.

Those who pass such remarks think they are oh, so witty and funny and that there is something wrong with us when we feel they are just downright rude.

I think it depends how it's said, maybe?
Somebody thinking up every tall person cliche and joke to insert into every conversation is downright rude.

My friend is 5' 1" and says that, alongside me, she feels "vertically challenged". I'm 5' 4" and feel as though I'm "statuesque" alongside her. The truth is we're both short arses compared to many others but I can't see how or why anyone's height, or lack of it, matters to anyone.

I really did only realise that I'm quite short.
I had always imagined 5' 4 to be very average.
perhaps that has changed over the years?

I meant to say, in my late 40s.

5’2” with a matronly bust and tiny everywhere else, I have had no end of personal comments.

The test I would make, basically from something that I observed, is if you go somewhere, like, say a course on wordprocessing, and when you are all standing around before a particular session starts there is a sort of "wall of women" and you don't stand out as noticeable, then you are about average height.

A woman of average height can blend in or stand out depending on what she chooses to wear.

I never get that option. I always stand out.

GrannyGravy13

5’2” with a matronly bust and tiny everywhere else, I have had no end of personal comments.

That surprises me.

I would have thought that even people who think it perfectly fine to comment on tallness would regard such comments as very taboo.

Dear oh dear!

I have just reread the OP and realised it talks about people informing someone they are tall. DH certainly didn't inform the person. He just exclaimed when taken aback by someone's height.

M0nica

I have just reread the OP and realised it talks about people informing someone they are tall. DH certainly didn't inform the person. He just exclaimed when taken aback by someone's height.

I did make that point upthread M0nica

the other thing about the link is that it was to an article written by a woman - so we are in the realm of patronising, sexist comments too
But it does not amount to informing the recipient of the comments.

I am surprised nobody else seems to have noticed

A woman of average height can blend in or stand out depending on what she chooses to wear

That’s a very out-of-date and sexist remark OP .

I think some people are just very vocal and have no filter. Late MIL would often say things and when dementia was added to the mix it became much more noticeable.
To the female GP who visited her care home, "You're so tall I thought you were a man!" And to the male charge nurse, "You're bald!" Whoops, a thick skin definitely required.

There was a very tall handsome sporty lad who lived in my village: same age as my daughter. I said something about his height one day and he said to me, quite sadly ‘people make a point of not mentioning that someone is short but everyone thinks it’s ok to make comments about someone being tall’. I never mentioned his height again and I’ve never mentioned anyone else’s height, tall or short since.

grandetante the best taugh,t most superior person can now and again be taken by surprise and say something that sullies their impeccable upbringing and antecedents.

MayBeMaw

^A woman of average height can blend in or stand out depending on what she chooses to wear^

That’s a very out-of-date and sexist remark OP .

Can you explain why please?

For example, each week eight women all of average height go along to a wordprocessing class. They tend to wear jeans and jumpers or junpers and a plain skirt. They sort of blend, nobody stands out.

One week one of them arrives in a red suit, as she is going to a job interview after the class without going home in the meantime.

It seems obvious to me that she stands out amongst the group that week.

Why is the remark out-of-date or sexist?

If I buy ten picture frames and place them on a table and seven are white and one is pink, then the pink one is noticeable.

But if all ten are white then none is more noticeable than any other,

But if nine are pink and one is white then the white one is noticeable.

But if I go to the wordprocessing course, yes it happened when I was out of work, I stand out if I am the only male, and even if there are lots of males I still stand out because I always stand out regardless even if I want to blend in and be just one of the crowd.

MaybeMaw, my apologies, I missed your post.

It is just that sometimes nobody comments on my height but sometimes someone does and puts the focus on me and I feel awkward and embarrassed and don't know what to do.

I know my older grandson feels uncomfortable about his height.

Why not pat them on the head condescendingly?

It is sexist because you are saying that only women can make themselves look “less average” whatever that may mean.
Men can just as easily look individual by their clothes, style, hair (both on the head and facial) tattoos, jewellery, accessories - in exactly the same way.
It is out of date because such sexist attitudes are not usually found these days among men or women of all ages.

How tall are you ElderlyPerson if you don’t mind me asking? It may help give some perspective to this chat. As I’ve said, I’m 5’11, which is quite tall, at school, particularly as female, it was quite noticeable, not so much now and I like being tall.

In the social situation you describe, EP, there isn't anything you can do apart from deflecting the conversation to a more interesting subject. For most people, it will be a throwaway comment and forgotten as soon as it's said.

Arguably more serious for people who dislike being the centre of attention is the way that buses are designed. A friend who uses a wheelchair hates the way the space for a wheelchair on a bus faces the other passengers. She is conscious of people looking at her as well as disliking the sensation of travelling backwards (as many people do on trains). Thoughts?

To be fair Silverbridge the positioning of a wheelchair on a bus is a matter of safety (just as in a taxi )
If the wheelchair and its occupant face the back of the vehicle there is much less risk of being thrown forwards out of the wheelchair and injured in the event of a sudden or emergency stop, common enough in heavy city traffic - or worst case scenario, an accident.
But I totally sympathise with their feelings.

Has EP left the building?

if you go somewhere, like, say a course on wordprocessing

That's a blast from the past!!

Yes, but I think you are a man, EP. Imagine being a girl aged 12 and already 6ft and still growing.