Missing school for a holiday

Exactly Mollygo independent schools are inspected by the Independent Schools Inspectorate and the regulations differ from OFSTED.

“In private schools most requests are granted.”
I don’t have any insider knowledge of government rules or OFSTED impacting on private schools, but as my mum says, “He who pays the piper, calls the tune” and in private schools, the piper is paid directly by the person requesting a holiday.

I think MissAdventure probably knows in her own mind exactly what she is going to do, and that is fine.

I'm guessing because a lot of Heads can't spare the time to fully analyse every request individually with the parents, the staff and maybe certain authorities, the decision is often a blanket "no". I know it is different circumstances, but in a private school most requests are granted.

MissAdventure - I'm a long-time lurker on Gransnet but don't think I've actually posted a comment before. I understand you were open to all opinions but I do think some people are so self-righteous and haven't read the thread before posting.

My youngest DD is in year 11 (only just 15, so one of youngest in her year). In the October half-term 2019, when she was 13, my DH and I had planned a trip to the Caribbean to celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I am disabled and my youngest DD is a Young Carer. One of my other DD wanted to come away with us (paying for herself) and, because we hadn't had a holiday for a few years, we decided that all four of us would go away. I wrote to the Head of Year and explained the circumstances and requested that, as the school half-term was one week and two days, we could take DD out of school for the additional 3 days. This was granted and we were not fined. I believe it was listed as authorised absence.

I do understand that schools and teachers are up against it; however, it certainly sounds like your DGS would benefit more from spending time with his DB. I think you have done everything right - better to ask the school, rather than lie. You stated in a previous post that your DGS has 100% attendance for the past 2 years. I know of children who have time off sick frequently; in fact someone I know had to provide doctor's letters if her DS was off sick prior to Covid, due to the amount of time he was off sick with minor issues such as coughs and colds. I think schools consider a child's education is impacted when attendance is less than 96% - so your grandson is unlikely to be adversely affected.

Some teachers (including retired teachers judging by some of these comments) have a chip on their shoulder because they can't just take a week's holiday when it suits them - unfortunately, that is par for the course in the profession they have chosen, just as nurses and doctors and others in the emergency services have to work at Christmas. The poster who felt that children should be doing more work - they are children for goodness sake, let them enjoy life whilst they can - they are at work for many years when they are limited to the amount of holiday they can take.

I really hope your DGS has a fantastic break with his DB and that you are able to recuperate during this time, so that you feel refreshed on his return.

The teaching at home was, for many people, a bit of a shambles and the input from schools variable - some excellent sessions, some not very good. There were weeks and weeks of that so what difference is 3 days going to make. From what I've seen, the days leading up to the end of term/half term are usually taken at a more leisurely pace anyway.

I think the holiday would have been much more beneficial.

My daughters are now 38 and 36. I occasionally took both out of school during term time to go on holidays. They both went to University, got their degrees and have good jobs.
In view of what your grandson has been through, I should have thought the school should be more sympathetic instead of selfishly following rules for the sake of it.
It seems to me that children who did not attend school during lockdown still achieved exceptional exam results, so that just goes to show that it isn't necessary to attend school every day after all!!

You’re doing the right thing Miss Adventure. Your grandson will benefit more from being with his brother than being in school for those three days. Don’t make excuses to the school though your reasons are valid enough. Hope time brings some healing for all of you. ❤️

“Theirs”

Would the school be able to tell you what he will miss on those days? If so, you could ensure he does something over that week that will compensate - an activity, a small amount of homework/study? Nothing too onerous.
That way everyone could feel very little was missed but much gained.
These refusals are nothing personal. They are linked exclusively to rules imposed by the government and the criteria is very specific.
The rules, unfortunately have to be blanket - discretion results in a total hotchpotch with some saying yes, others saying no to the identical request.
As others have said, without these rules, some classrooms descend into chaos - many children missing days or weeks, often with no or short notice. Schedules disrupted, plans awry, no hope of catching everyone up. Impossible for some teachers to plan certain activities. That’s before and after Lockdowns!
This is definitely a case where a school would treat it as an exception that would thoroughly benefit the child - however that decision isn’t there’s to make. They have to apply the specific rules.
I think most of us can see all the sides?

MissAdventure, Sorry, only just got around to reading this but wholeheartedly agree with Malin. Of course you should let them go but set out your reasons to the school in writing. It might be advisable to tell them not to make any reference or upload photos on the media. (The boys are very fortunate indeed to have such a caring Grandmother).

I would definitely let him take 3 days off school, I took my daughters out of school maybe one week out of the school year to take advantage of a cheaper flight and they’re all grown up with good careers.
They remember holidays growing up and I recall teacher training days, take a toy in days, watch a Disney film days on the last day before the summer break or Christmas break etc… take them on holiday!

btw, it's the local council, not the school, that issues fines. I'd be surprised if they did, though, under the circumstances.

Hope it works out,you are the one who knows best,good luck

Go, and damn the begrudgers!

In 1963 I was taken to live in Trinidad as dad was building an oil refinery. They took me to a local school and lets just say I might have been bullied so they contacted my grammar school in England. They provided lessons by post. Then in 1965 dad was building a desalination plant in Kuwait and my parents didn’t think I would cope with the local school. We stayed about a year and drove home. I then returned to normal schooling but the headmistress said I was too far ahead and put in a good word for me at the local college where at the age of 15 I joined the class for 18 year olds. 3 days? Honestly. Let him go. You can always catch up.

Definitely let him go and just pay the fine, the school is being unreasonable but have to stick to their rules or they would all be doing it. Hope the brothers have a lovely time irritating each other LOL

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh, you're nearly all very kind.
Thank you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, and being so understanding.

With

I can't believe some of the responses here MissA!
Ican'smessage very thoughtful and reasonable.
Let the poor lad have a few dys away his brother.
Look after yourself too MissA.
?

That’s shocking MissA. I didn’t know. Your poor grandson - I can’t imagine his pain and anguish. And yours at what you all had to go through.

I think you’re pretty amazing by the way. One of my favourite posters. Your one-liners are stellar.

Hope your convalescence brings you strength and better health soon. Look after yourself. x

many schools now are little more than crammers, with logo-ed branded clothing advertising their 'sponsors'.
couldn't care less about real education or development, just league tables, let alone the welfare of the child.
grind them down, until every whiff of creativity or individuality is obliterated.
OP, any chance of changing schools ?
of course let him go

There was bugger all empathy from the teachers when it happened Urms.
They made the whole situation 100 times worse, in every conceivable way, which has shown me that sometimes you have to put your loved ones before "the school, the rules, what's expected"

I tend to agree.
Everybody talks about mental health and self care, but a child has to rely on someone else to oversee that everything is fine.
And I know, for myself, that sometimes things aren't.

I wouldn't say I have mental health problems, but sometimes it's such a heavy burden to carry around.

I'm sure it's the same for children too.

Another here who votes you definitely let him go away on holiday with his brother MissA.

You might feel a bit norty about it at present but you won’t when he’s been. I think as he’s now in senior school, he’s not with the teachers from juniors who were with him at the time the bad thing happened and maybe that’s why they dont empathise the same?

You’ve made your mind up really. I think it’s just your conscience wrestling with your decision. Sod it. Get your purse out.