As for talking to your dog as if it were human, I used to baby-talk to my dog - ‘Mummy love oo!’ etc. (I’m not normally soppy at all so I’m not sure why.)
Anyway, I was once doing precisely this in a densely wooded part of the park where I usually walked her (thinking I was quite alone) when I heard stifled laughter.
Looked up to see two blokes up a big tree, evidently wetting themselves laughing!
Still, if you can give someone a good laugh, your day is not entirely wasted. ?
Things that (sometimes unreasonably) get on your nerves...hopefully lighthearted
