Gransnet forums

Chat

The wording on Christmas cards

(86 Posts)
ElderlyPerson Wed 29-Sept-21 17:47:46

Why do almost all Christmas cards have

Merry Christmas

Only once, about twenty years ago, did I manage to find one that had

Wishing you a Peaceful Christmas

Surely, if, say, a lady has been widowed this year and it is the first time in her life she will be alone at Christmas, she is hardly likely to be having a merry time, perhaps more likely quietly reflective.

Ooh. Grrr.

Why do they all seem to have Merry on them?

Why is there not a choice?

Yes, there are some blank card ones that can be used, but mostly not really Christmas oriented, though if they are a picture of a winter scene and blank inside then that can be effective and, as there is no lettering on the front are good for framing and all year display.

Mollygo Fri 01-Oct-21 11:06:49

Actually, being wished a peaceful Christmas when I’d just lost my dad was like rubbing salt into the would, as he was always the life and soul of the party.
Send a card that shows you are thinking of the person-use your own appropriate words or use season’s greetings.
With regard to ‘merry’ EP I wouldn’t worry. Teetotallers, dieters, drinkers and gluttons all make merry in their own way with or without cards.

LovelyLady Fri 01-Oct-21 11:07:58

I agree with Aveline. Never Happy Holiday.
Happy holiday is for post cards.
We’re not in America and we are celebrating Christmas. The birth of Christ.
It’s Christmas time - Christ Mass.
For those non believers, just stop celebrating - no presents etc. Please will those non believers stop trying to dilute a Christian special day.

Gwenisgreat1 Fri 01-Oct-21 11:19:09

What I can't stand are the ones that say "Happy Holidays" ! You could be in the Bahamas, then it might be appropriate! Think it's more 'Americanisation'

GeorgyGirl Fri 01-Oct-21 11:28:15

I find there are many different greetings in Christmas cards and after all Christmas cards are to celebrate Christmas so it should be mentioned in the message. When anyone has been widowed I always send a 'Thinking of You at Christmas' card. Season's Greetings is rather remote for Christmas itself.

Theoddbird Fri 01-Oct-21 11:36:16

I always look for ones that have 'peace' in the wording. I always buy ones with a dove on as well...have done for over 40 years.

Yammy Fri 01-Oct-21 11:38:38

I usually buy with blank insides charity cards and then write "All the best ", for whatever year. It's an old saying around here used a lot. You can get packs of Blank Charity cards I usually get mine from M&S or John Lewis.
I do agree you have to be careful what you write the worst I ever received was one that had obviously been written in the summer and told me how happy my mum was in the home she had gone into as if I hadn't visited and also she had died in the Autumn.
I have felt awful after sending cards to old friends and relations then getting a quick note to say they had died in the summer, the relations just hadn't bothered to inform me.

Foxyferret Fri 01-Oct-21 12:34:39

For anyone not in a happy situation, there are some lovely cards which just have Thinking of You on the front.

StoneofDestiny Fri 01-Oct-21 12:53:43

Don’t think ‘merry Christmas’ is offensive to non Christians at all.

Save us from Happy Holidays!

MaggsMcG Fri 01-Oct-21 13:18:34

I stopped sending cards except to elderly relatives or people I know don't use email or social media. I used to spend well over £40 on cards and stamps so I now donate money to The CF Trust (granddaughter has cystic fibrosis) and send email or social media messages. Most people understand. In fact some of my work colleague before I retired used to give me money to add to my donation and do the same themselves.

Gabrielle56 Fri 01-Oct-21 13:37:31

I hardly ever get cards with My more than plain happy birthday.i write my own verses and thoughts

Happysexagenarian Fri 01-Oct-21 13:48:29

About four years ago a friend of mine lost her beloved husband of fifty years in June. She would be spending Christmas alone as only son lived abroad. As Christmas approached and cards started appearing in shops she said one day "I do hope people will send me normal cards this year that say Happy or Merry Christmas, not those that say Thinking of You, it was on all the sympathy cards! I will have a happy Christmas this year because I have so many lovely memories of past Christmases, but I don't want to be treated any differently, or worse still not receive cards because folk don't know what to say." Her words brought tears to my eyes, and of course I sent her a lovely 'normal' card.

I also know someone who is saddened that she no longer receives Anniversary cards from family and friends since her husband died. She misses getting them, and of course it is still a happy date/day for her but the absence of greetings from other people (especially family) seems to emphasize her loss.

I know not everyone would feel the same way as these two ladies but I just thought I'd mention this.

grumppa Fri 01-Oct-21 13:51:44

Doesn’t Season’s Greetings refer to the festive season, the celebration of the winter solstice, when days start to get longer? As such, it is applicable to most religions, whatever they call their particular festival. At some point in the early fourth century it was decided that the winter solstice was the appropriate time to celebrate Christ’s birth.

It’s a bit like the Queen’s official birthday being in June.

Riggie Fri 01-Oct-21 15:31:40

Aveline

I can't stand 'Happy Holidays' on Christmas cards. It's so American.
I prefer to buy charity cards especially for charities that I like to support.

I agree. I'm not keen on Seasons Greetings either but it can be useful.

Riggie Fri 01-Oct-21 15:48:35

Lucca

Why do we always have to be so rabidly anti anything American ? They say happy holidays, we don’t. Big deal.

For me I think it's the fact that "Holidays" are something I go on in the summer, a vacation as the Americans would say.

Plus it seems lazy to me - as if I can't be bothered to find out that my (hypothetical) Jewish friend is celebrating Hannukah - I'd get an appropriate card instead.

Witzend Fri 01-Oct-21 15:54:19

Early

Lucca

Why do we always have to be so rabidly anti anything American ? They say happy holidays, we don’t. Big deal.

Quite right, Lucca. Holiday is from Holy Day which is exactly what Christ Mass is.

To the vast majority of people it doesn’t mean ‘holy day’ any more, though.

25Avalon Fri 01-Oct-21 17:04:27

Just ordered my Christmas cards from Muscular Dystrophy and there were several with doves and messages of peace and joy.

pinkquartz Fri 01-Oct-21 17:19:28

I always think of Christmas as a time to celebrate midwinter in the very old Yule time way.
As northern Europeans we needed to mark midwinter and turn thoughts to the coming of spring.
Also the practicalities of coming together to share food and heat.

I am not a Christian and I believe that Christmas (and Easter) were hijacked from the "old" ways.
We need celebrations and it feels good to wish other people a good time. I like Christmas time. The season.
When I lost a beloved jus tbefore Christmas I couldn't celebrate I was far too sad. And I do try to respect anyone who might be in grieving and send Good Wishes, not Christmas.....

MayBeMaw Fri 01-Oct-21 18:21:42

Should we be distracted from sending genuine loving thoughts and good wishes at Christmas or any other time by the printed message inside?
Frankly I take little notice although I try to avoid the too jolly “Have fun this Christmas/birthday/Hanukkah “ sort.
What matters to me is the often brief but sincere message inside from the sender, to know that I have been remembered and that for a few minutes at least we are in each other’s thoughts.

Socksandsocks01 Sat 02-Oct-21 07:36:22

I'd like to see more religious cards in the shop. I'm amazed how much people celebrate Christmas who are atheists. I actually found the local market selling real Christmas cards with religious pictures and verses inside at reasonable prices too. It's a shame it's all santa claus and merry Christmas things in the shops.

Socksandsocks01 Sat 02-Oct-21 07:46:42

Lovely lady. Perfectly put. Christmas it is about Christian folk celebrating the birth or christ even if that is not the real day he was born. It Mark's his coming. If you dont believe that's your choice dont try changing it but it would be nice to see more appropriate cards etc.

MaggieTulliver Sat 02-Oct-21 08:28:41

Yes I dislike “merry” but that has a lot to do with being brought up by a German mother who thought it a ridiculous descriptor. I prefer “peaceful” or heaven forbid “blessed” as I firmly believe that Christmas is about the birth of Christ. I too wish there were more religious cards but I still find Christmas a very magical time and am a sucker for snow scenes and glitter.

Froglady Sat 02-Oct-21 08:43:15

I managed to find 2 Christmas cards last year that were very suitable for the 2 friends who had lost their partners. I think I went to my local market stall and found them there.

Witzend Sat 02-Oct-21 08:45:22

Socksandsocks01

I'd like to see more religious cards in the shop. I'm amazed how much people celebrate Christmas who are atheists. I actually found the local market selling real Christmas cards with religious pictures and verses inside at reasonable prices too. It's a shame it's all santa claus and merry Christmas things in the shops.

The Christian festival merged with the old pagan Midwinter one. Things like the Yule log, the holly and the ivy, etc., all have pre Christian origins. Goodness knows a Northern European midwinter needs something to cheer it up a bit, so please don’t begrudge non-believers their own
sort of Christmas.
In Sweden, and I dare say in other Scandi countries, they still call Christmas Jul (Yule).

Early Sat 02-Oct-21 09:04:11

It’s more to do with colloquialism - the commonly understood meaning of a word or phrase changing over time.

The phrase God rest you merry means may God grant you peace and happiness.

Holiday comes from Holy Day. Christmas is a mass for Christ.

Meaning has been lost to commercialism. Merry is now more commonly understood to mean happy and sometimes lightly drunk. A holiday is a break from work. Christmas is about exchanging gifts and feasting.

The words of the carol as recorded in 1760 are ones that we all know well albeit with slightly different words for the last two lines.

God rest ye merry, Gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay,
For Jesus Christ our Saviour
Was born upon this Day.
To save poor souls from Satan's power,
Which long time had gone astray.
Which brings tidings of comfort and joy.

It's a celebration of the birth of Christ for those who believe.

It’s tricky, isn’t it? We are making assumptions that people don’t know the old meanings of words - but some do.

Maybe, to stand against the over-commercialisation of Christmas, we should be using the word merry.

Aveline Sat 02-Oct-21 09:18:38

I want Christmases to be merry and bright!