Granny childcare

You really, really do need to take care of your back.
My mum didn't, and it had a devastating effect on her life, quite suddenly, after years of being a virtual superwoman.
I wouldn't really know what to advise, perhaps some physiotherapy might help, or at least with deciding if it's viable to carry on as you are.

I never really had back problems, but after helping to mind 14 month old granddaughter after her brother was born, I was definitely aware of my back suffering. Like yours, she wasn't walking and the house was over 3 levels, so there was a lot of carrying up and down stairs, which was the worst.

Do you have to bring her up/down stairs? If so, can you teach her to go down either crawling backwards (feet first) or sitting from one step to next? Under supervision, of course. All our 5 learnt to manage stairs safely when at the crawling stage.

There's still a lot of lifting involved - in and out of high chair, car seats etc, but the more you can encourage her to help herself, the better it will be for your back.

Despite the cost of nursery, you might have to cut down a bit on your childminding hours as your health should take priority - if your back gives up you won't be able to do it at all.

there is a reason why elderly women cannot give birth.
this is a job of work, which is damaging your health.
an injured back is often life-long in its effects.
it is not your job to bring up your children's children.

I look after my 3year old grandson one day a week and his 8 month old twin brothers 1 and 1/2 days a week.
I’m 70 and do have back problems but see a physio regularly and do some strengthening/stretching exercises most days.
Yes it is tiring but after a career in early years childcare it’s great to feel needed and the relationships you build are amazing. Try and arrange the house to minimise lifting! They will be grown all too soon.

I agree with Thori. Bring everything downstairs so you don't have to carry her upstairs if that is an issue. Use a little footstool to perch on when she is playing on the floor rather than bending down to her.

If you need to pick something up off the floor, maybe make a game of it and ask her to help you.

Think twice about picking her up. Hopefully she will be walking soon

Sorry Thoro got your name wrong.

Similar advice to the others - try to avoid picking her up from the floor. Help her to scamble onto the bottom stair or the next one before you pick her up, or onto an armchair, so that you're putting less strain on your back. Once she's walking, if you still need to lift her, you can hold her hand while she step up onto something.

I was still lifting my granddaughter when she was quite big (so that she could see things better, for example). It did my back no good at all. My son damaged his back lifting her in and out of her car seat when he had a 2-door car. The more you can get her to do to help you the better!

I totally get it. My back and neck are buggered and I've just had one knee replaced, having the other done in 6 months. So lifting and mobility have been a problem when looking after my granddaughter a couple of days a week. She's now 4 and just started school, and I miss her like mad.
We played a lot of games on my bed with Peppa Pig toys, I bought her a little doctors kit and we made bandages out of strips of cloth and I let her use a real ear thermometer. We played downstairs at the table with play dough, paint, stickers etc. We watched a bit of TV. She loved hiding under a blanket and me pretending I can't find her. It's amazing how many things you can do sitting.
I bought a load of junk jewellery and we have a treasure chest and spend ages trying all of it on. I bought her some little fold up steps so we can stand and bake biscuits together. I looked after her from 1 year old and the older she got, the easier it became. I learnt to just forget everything else that needed doing and just hung out with her.
We now have a really special bond and I have so many great memories of playing with her. I wish you all the luck in the world finding ways to look after her. The days seem so long sometimes, but the years are so short.

You have some great ideas for practical childcare here, so I'm going to mention taking care of your back.
I would suggest seeing a specialist physiotherapist. I would talk to them about re-visiting Pilates (instructors can be very variable, and a good one should help your core muscles & balance). I would also ask about swimming - an exercise that has been part of life forever, but I have been told to limit / do differently because of my back. That may not apply to you, but I wonder if the care you currently receive is still helpful.

Please take this in the spirit in which it is intended and ignore if unhelpful (of course!)

It’s so interesting you say you developed vertigo after Pilates. This happened to me, and people thought I was mad. I felt travel sick for four days after it, and never did it again.

Anyway, as regards your back etc. yes, it can make you really ache. Like you, we swim. We also cycle and walk. No impact sport though.

14 months is quite old to be carting her around to be honest. Does she walk around things...holding on? Or does she not stand at all. My youngest daughter didn’t walk properly until she was 17 months, but she stood up, and held onto things. An easier position from which to pick them up. Maybe she needs encouragement. She could just be lazy. I’m sure my daughter was!

You definitely need to take care. It sounds like you’re needed, so it’s in the interests of her parents to make sure you keep well.

Thank you all so much for your stories, ideas and support which I really value. I won't risk going back to Pilates but know enough to be able to do some exercises at home, and I too have been warned that swimming ( especially breaststroke) can exacerbate a bad back. The Chiropractor suggested some exercises for my granddaughter as bottom shufflers apparently don't have a well developed sense of 'cross body' movement ( such as you use in marching moving opposite arm and leg). So hopefully things will improve!

Shirva, a 14 month old child is heavy for anyone ! My son didn't walk till 19 months , quite a change as both daughters were toddling at 12months! Please take care of your back I am sure your daughter / daughter in law would not want you to have an injury that could incapacitate you for a very long time. I recognize how you feel , we all want to do as much as we can to help our offspring and their children. Do discuss this with the parent/s. You have asked for tips so here goes - be honest with your self about whether it is sensible to continue granny care. Perhaps you could opt out till GD is walking? Then resume duties , or are you in a position to help with the cost of additional nursery fees? I recognize how hard it is to say "no "to adult children but on this occasion I feel you really must put yourself first! Imagine how you would feel if your back was damaged for the foreseeable future !? A short break from childcare may be the answer. Think how many times you lift her during the day- in and out of the highchair, when she needs a cuddle, a nappy change , in and out of a car , into a baby swing at the park? It all adds up . The child's parents will not be fully aware of you situation if you don't tell them . Your GD will be walking very soon so is it worth risking your health? You have said you already have a dodgy back , for goodness sake don't aggravate it. Look after yourself and good luck!

One more suggestion- make sure you change nappies with her lying on floor, not on changing table, or bed, or anywhere involving lifting. But kneel on floor, don’t bend or squat. Main thing is to minimise lifting as much as possible. At that age you often spend a lots of time carrying around on hip, but this is one of main strains on back.

Interesting that chiropractor suggested exercises for granddaughter- some children are much more co-ordinated at an earlier age than others.