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Annoyed with dinner guest

(176 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 15-Oct-21 08:58:23

I invited a couple of friends over for dinner last night and went to the usual trouble of shopping and preparing food and buying nice ingredients. When they arrived one of them announced that she'd called into her daughter on the way and they were sitting down to dinner and the grandchildren really wanted her to stay so she sat down with them and had some spaghetti bolognaise. As a result she asked for minute portions of all the food I'd made.

I was at another friend's house recently and a guest did something similar. "Oh we were out for a late lunch so I'm not terribly hungry. I won't have the starter and just give mé a tiny bit of the chicken, no potatoes....,"

I find this incredibly annoying and rude. Am I the only one?

My friend definitely doesn't have any kind of issues with food, and even if someone does surely it's rude to accept an invitation for dinner if you know you're not going to eat anything?

SachaMac Sun 17-Oct-21 13:42:27

I agree this is rude, she should have explained to the children she was eating out later with her friend, and turned down their offer of spag Bol, simple! Alternatively, having stuffed her face there she should have just kept her mouth shut and at least tried to eat as much as she could of your meal. Sounds like she needs to learn how to say no to her grandchildren and have some manners. I wouldn’t invite her again.

Grammaretto Sun 17-Oct-21 13:45:21

I think withnail has the right attitude.
When you invite someone round, be relaxed about it and don't try a new recipe for the first time or expect high praise.

I have been guilty in the past.
My inlaws ran a hotel and invited us, DH & me to be guinea pigs for their first dinner at the restaurant. MiL was and is a wonderful cook. FiL was waiting at table.

They gave us the menu and we chose a mixture of things. It took ages to arrive. We were the only guests as it was a rehearsal so we sat twiddling our thumbs

The meal was delicious but afterwards they joined us for the verdict and told us to be brutally honest.

I said that the ice cream (homemade) was too cold. I can't remember what other things I said but I have never truly lived it down. She said we had chosen difficult things to cook and serve.

Elvis58 Sun 17-Oct-21 13:50:19

Bad manners.l would be furious!

Pam2208 Sun 17-Oct-21 14:04:23

I've had simular situation same person a couple of times now. She hasn't eaten to be fair just had a bit too much to drink. Piles her plate up with food then only has about half a dozen bites. The last time she was also very argumentative with the other guest. I'll not be asking her again.

Cossy Sun 17-Oct-21 14:26:11

Personally I think it is very rude and rather disrespectful !

Naninka Sun 17-Oct-21 14:28:02

BlueSapphire... that reminds me of The Vicar Of Dibley where Geraldine Grainger eats 3 Christmas dinners!! If you haven't watched it, do! Hilarious!

I held a Burns Night dinner party for 8 friends a while back in my then new dining room with new carpet. One of my guests refused to take her shoes off although I asked politely, then went on to spill red wine on my brand new carpet!

OP... you are right to be cross's. I'd be livid! xx

Naninka Sun 17-Oct-21 14:30:44

Ps. Regarding peas, my 88 year old mother shakes terribly and cannot keep them on her fork. She leaves them if she's out but uses a spoon at home.

Naninka Sun 17-Oct-21 14:35:32

Shazmo24

Definitely very rude. Even Geraldine Granger in the Vicat of Dibley had 3 full Christmas Dinners as not to upset anyone! Don't bother to invite them anymore

Sorry Shazmo, didn't see you'd already mentioned this. x

Joesoap Sun 17-Oct-21 14:42:16

Extremely rude, invite for coffee and cakes next time.
I hate cooking for other people now, they are either gluten or lactos intolerant or veggie or vegan, cant cope with having to make so many different things, its much easier to eat out and let someone else do the worrying,and work!

Joesoap Sun 17-Oct-21 14:55:14

I on the odd occasion I invite someone for dinner,usually say "please be hungry"

Daisend1 Sun 17-Oct-21 14:59:34

Are you still friends Bewitched .?

icanhandthemback Sun 17-Oct-21 15:16:52

My sister was notorious for serving minuscule portions and it being hours late so when I took my husband to meet her for the first time, we stopped at a Fast Food chain and filled up with food so we wouldn't starve. However, for the first time ever, she served up a humungous portion of filling food on time. We did our best but we were absolutely stuffed. She was really mad with us! We never did it again but have sat there for hours waiting for an insubstantial meal many times since.

bebe2 Sun 17-Oct-21 15:37:17

My mother used to do this practically every time I invited her. I always thought it was so rude.

Meaux Sun 17-Oct-21 15:40:17

Frustrating and rude. I had my SIL to stay for 12 days over Christmas a few years ago. At the time of the invitation she ate ‘normal ‘ food, so I shopped, cooked, baked, froze things etc for several weeks prior to her visit so that it would all be relaxed during her stay. When we went to pick her up she told me she was ‘doing slimming world’ and reeled off a list of things she couldn’t eat - most of what I had prepared. So ….. I went shopping again and got the things she would eat. A couple of days into Christmas the diet went for a ball of chalk and all the new stuff was no longer desired. An awful lot of salad etc got binned! I love my SIL dearly, but a little bit if forethought from her would have saved me a whole lot of hassle.

Peace444 Sun 17-Oct-21 15:40:52

I felt absolutely heartbroken when my sister in law and brother, who had told us they were staying in our home town, and would visit us for tea, but happy to stay in a b &b as they always do. Called to cancel coming over for tea with us, but could we join them in the pub. I had gone out of my way to buy and prepare a lovely spread. My hubby gets in late on a Friday after a long week away as a lorry driver. Loves a home bath feet up scenario. We were looking forward to seeing them. But my Brother decided he was settled in the bar. I was annoyed with myself because it upset me so much. Next day on Fab they had pictures of themselves having fun in our hometown. Must have forgotten to pop in. I must say I did let them know how rude I thought they were. But unfortunately they thought we were rude and boring for not joining them. ? Haven’t seen them since. I think if you accept an invite, cancel with good notice .

Alis52 Sun 17-Oct-21 15:59:17

Oh that’s bad. I’d be furious. Happened to me once. A family of 4 who’d eaten with us in the past turned up at least two hours late. When we sat down to eat we discovered one reason they’d been so late is that they’d stopped at Burger King for food on the way as they were so hungry. They were only half an hour drive away! My own children had been hanging on for them to arrive so weren’t best pleased but held their tongues. The guests barely touched the cottage pie I’d actually made at their request as it was their favourite dish of mine. Then they left an hour later saying the children were tired. It was a really weird episode and I never found out what was going on. I glossed over it at the time but they were never invited again.

jeanrobinson Sun 17-Oct-21 16:02:17

My late husband often ;invited his students to Sunday lunch
They were always starving and appreciative, and the conversation was more interesting and educational for our
small children

Seakay Sun 17-Oct-21 16:16:35

Sitting with children doesn't have to involve eating the food prepared for them.
I think that your guest was rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate of everyone around her, including whoever was cooking for her grandchildren.
Don't invite them again, they don't deserve your hospitality.

Torbroud Sun 17-Oct-21 16:37:18

I'm with old woman 70 she could have just sat with them, explained she was going elsewhere for her supper. Wouldn't be a second chance with me.

Lin663 Sun 17-Oct-21 17:16:57

Outrageous rudeness! No excuses for this kind of behaviour!

AJKW Sun 17-Oct-21 17:36:49

You are right to be annoyed, it was very rude of your friends. When you take the time, trouble and expense to produce a lovely meal and this is what they do, I’d be upset.

nipsmum Sun 17-Oct-21 19:08:07

Someone did that to me years ago. They were never invited again.

asd123 Sun 17-Oct-21 19:16:47

Damn rude!

JadeOlivia Sun 17-Oct-21 19:36:06

I think I will give up with dinner parties ..between those who cancel or won' t committ until the last minute, turn up late, leave early, nibble at food, arrive empty handed, even when it is for a birthday party ....it' s just too much trouble.Best meet up in a local restaurant and share bill.
Your guest was disrespectful.

Skydancer Sun 17-Oct-21 19:46:44

Without going into specifics as I never know who’s on this site, we invited friends to lunch who I’d describe as “foodies”. They complained because the main course fish, according to them, didn’t meet environmental standards - though the fish shop says it does. Then they asked where we had bought all the other ingredients and criticised our choice of supermarket. They asked about every single thing I used including the tea bags and wanted to know why our milk was in plastic containers. I felt like crying. I hate catering but had made a really special effort and my DH said it was delicious. I wouldn’t dream of insulting anyone like that.