Annoyed with dinner guest

Does anyone remember that Vicar of Dibley Christmas episode?

It was very rude, Beswitched, I'd be very miffed, especially as she told you what she'd done as if she thought it was normal behaviour.
It's not.

Yes this was certainly bad manners on the part of your friend but the story reminds of what might be described as the other side of the coin.

Many years ago when we were first married, we were invited to dinner with friends who were also young newly weds.

We went straight from work and were really hungry when we got there, only to be served with beautifully presented but tiny portions.

When we left later on that evening we were so starving that we bought fish and chips on the way home !

That was well over forty years ago now but we still laugh about it!

The friend is still one of my best friends but I have never told her!

I would be annoyed

I would also appreciate the company of friends more, chatting and catching up.

For future invites, i would ask what they would want to do and eat and adjust

Dinner parties?
Remember those?

Scone You certainly wouldn't like to cater for my Husband, he has to follow a low FOD diet so can't have peas He is also coeliac and is dairy intolerant. I don't like catering for him either but the poor soul would starve if i didn't cook.

This has happened to me and never a one to keep quiet asked why and was told, ‘ we always eat our evening meal at five and could not wait for dinner at seven thirty’. She was quite indignant!

Years ago my husband and I were invited to the home of a widowed friend. For drinks, we assumed, as food wasn't mentioned. I cooked us a good evening meal prior to leaving for the 'drinks' party. There were nine of us present, including our hostess. Drinks and nibbles were served. We mingled and chatted for about 30 minutes. Then our hostess announced dinner is served.
My husband and I discreetly exchanged looks that said it all and took our places at the table. A wonderful, four course meal followed. We ate everything we were offered, although we were already full from our meal at home. I would never have dreamt of upsetting our hostess by not eating what she had gone to great lengths to provide. I have always been careful to be clear about what was on offer when invited out since.

Some years ago a friend who had recently separated from her H came to us for the weekend.
They had both stayed with us 2/3 times a year as we had with them.
I had made lasagna for Friday evening and planned a lamb roast for Sunday.
As we sat down for Friday night’s meal she announced she no longer ate red meat.
I was furious but produced cold ham which she ate with the salad and garlic bread and did salmon for Sunday lunch.
She was just so difficult all weekend but I nade excuses for her.
When she returned the invitation I decided to go on my own, my H wasn’t keen as it was his friendship with the H that got us all together.

She and her teenage D came to meet me off of the train and we went into the city to catch a bus to her house.As we passed a large chain store she suggested a bit to eat in the restaurant as they had had no lunch.
I declined food as it was well after lunch.
I was shocked when they came back from the counter with large portions of cottage pie, the red meat thing was obviously short lived.
After we got to her home and got settled she announced they would just be having a tuna sandwich and she had bought me a pizza!!

The only time I went again was with another friend, just for one night’s stay and that went ok.

We had the opposite: friends who for years we had invited for meals at our house and had been for meals at their house, so every meetup had always involved a meal...
Then they moved to a posh big house and invited us over to visit.
Come dinner time it became embarrassingly apparent they'd assumed we would leave as they hadn't catered for us. They served us bread and jam in the lounge while they had bolognese at the dining table.

Extremely rude, nigh on unforgivable from someone whom you consider a friend.

I can remember some years ago receiving an invite from a friend to 'come over, to join them and friends for a small party tol finish up the Christmas food. We assumed drinks and nibbles so had supper as usual. We got there to find it was a three course meal - and we ate it, no apologies, probably ate a bit less than usual, but I would never ever have admitted to eating before we came, even, as in our case, inadvertently. The height of bad manners.

I remember many years ago my parents being asked for ‘drinks’ at a well known local celebrity’s house. That being so they had dinner before they went. When they got there it was indeed ‘drinks’ followed by a 3 course dinner including steak and kidney pie. They just ate it all.

I have never heard of sending a menu in advance!
Maybe this is all a result of Lockdown and it has affected mental health?

Somehow, if the friends had not said anything and tackled the food as best they could, it would have been polite at least.

Once as a child, we'd had our tea and were invited out for supper. Someone had forgotten.
We were told to keep quiet about having already eaten and I can remember longing to eat this enormous ice-cream and I truly didn't have any more room.

Very rude, I agree. I invited some friends over for lunch and made a nice quiche . The woman said she didn’t eat onions which rather put the mockers on things because there was an onion in it. The thing was, I had asked beforehand if there was anything she didn’t like and she hadn’t said a word. Not getting invited again. My other friend who came doesn’t like chicken but she had the good manners to tell me so that was fine.

Incredibly rude of your guests Beswitched and very disappointing for you after going to so much trouble and expense.
Some people are very thoughtless. I hope they’re good company and made up for it in other ways.

I agree, it’s rude and bad mannered.

My name is grannyactivist and I am a feeder.

That situation has happened to me many, many times - and yes, I agree with others, I think it is very rude and to my mind incomprehensible. If I’m going to someone else’s home for a meal I barely eat beforehand.

Disgraceful behaviour.

I would never invite them again totally unacceptable.

I'd "save myself" for the dinner, so I could do it justice.

But why would you arrange to meet a friend for afternoon tea or a late lunch on a day you've already accepted a dinner invitation?

I can think of more than one time when at a friends for dinner that I had had a late lunch or afternoon tea with another friend, so didn't feel that hungry and, to be polite, I have eaten whatever was put in front of me or at least enough to not cause comment.
That was just the way I was brought up, to be polite and think of others.
Maybe you should add a comment when you invite people to let you know in advance if they are planning on a late lunch or having a snack on the way!

Downright rude ?

Yes if I'm going to dinner with someone who I know will be still wandering around with a potato peeler in their hand when we arrive, or putting a large leg of lamb in the oven I might have a slice of toast or something to keep me going until midnight

But eating a full meal when I know someone's going to be serving me up dinner in a couple of hours would be ridiculous.

I can't understand why people would do that sort of thing. MAybe sit down with the grandchildren and have a cuppa, and maybe a biscuit, but not a plate of Spag bol. A late lunch - if you miss dinner, then have a light sandwich and a banana and turn up ready to enjoy a lovely meal.
The only possible extenuating circumstances might at a stretch be that they have experience of going for a meal at someone's and being presented with a bowl of crisps, or getting there at 7 and not eating until 9.30, I've actually arrived at the time told and the person hasn't begun cooking, but tbh if they were worried about that they would have asked what sort of time will we be eating, so I know what time to have dinner, or something

Just rude.

Don't ask them again.