AIBU?

MissAdventure

Just like people whose grandchildren call them nanny are sometimes mistakenly taken for goats, I presume?

Kids too, apparently ? ?

I use the word died, but have no problem with passed or passed on. It simply means the deceased person has passed on to the next life.

If you don't believe in a next life, that's up to you, but getting annoyed when people use that expression is petty I think.

This very subject was raised in the film ‘This Happy Breed’ which must have been made about 75 years ago.

The spinster sister was talking about someone who had ‘passed away/ passed over’ and her brother in law pulled her up on it, said they had ‘died’, full stop.

So not just in recent times.

Just like people whose grandchildren call them nanny are sometimes mistakenly taken for goats, I presume?

I have always used died or dead. All the different euphemisms can be very confusing. Passed on, passed over…

Saying what one prefers is not obsessing. And of course if one knows a bereaved person's preference, that could influence which words/phrases one uses in their presence.

But discussing preferred diction on any subject is fine.

MayBeMaw

I don’t think this is a modern phenomenon at all. People have said “passed away” , “passed over” (Victorian) ) or even “gone to glory” for decades.
“Passed” on its own is more recent however - US influenced perhaps?
Does it matter to anybody but the bereaved though?
Respect for their feelings should be paramount.
(I think there are much worse things to obsess about. )

Although we can all say what we prefer (ourselves) we can’t speak for others, and yes if it helps to use a euphemism then so be it.

Particularly if you're on a crowded bus at the time, as happened to me a while back.
It was as much for the person's benefit as mine, as it was an innocent question from someone who had known my daughter as a child.

I don’t like ‘passed’ or ‘passed away’ and would never use them.

I think people are just squeamish or fearful of saying ‘died’, which I can understand, but to me it’s not so ‘dead’ sounding as ‘dead’. When I was a child that word always conjured up a body with its head newly chopped off! I must have seen a pic in a history book or something.

I've read in here before that it makes people want to scream.
Try saying "my child is dead. End of", when someone doesn't know and asks how they are.
That will make you want to scream.

I don’t think this is a modern phenomenon at all. People have said “passed away” , “passed over” (Victorian) ) or even “gone to glory” for decades.
“Passed” on its own is more recent however - US influenced perhaps?
Does it matter to anybody but the bereaved though?
Respect for their feelings should be paramount.
(I think there are much worse things to obsess about. )

I agree MissAdventure although I don't particularly like the term 'passed over' it's more gentle maybe than saying the person died.
Each to their own whatever gives them comfort.

If people don't understand what is meant by losing someone, or them passing away, then I feel sorry for them.
Mu mum died, my girl passed away.
Allow the bereaved to deal with it in their own way.

I have used the word died since my OH died - I use it with the GC and anyone else with whom I am having a conversation about it. It is real and it is clear.

I couldn't care less if others don't like it, if I want to say my daughter passed away, or I lost her, I will.

Yes, we all noticed. It’s been discussed a few times.

My Mother in Law had a neighbour who was always loosing people. Very unfortunate turn of phrase.

JenniferEccles, yes 'lost' can cause problems. I explained, to my granddaughter, that I was hugging a neighbour because - she was sad as she'd lost her baby. GD instantly looked horrified, and said 'Where did she leave it?'.

Everyone has their own comfort zone, say what suits you I think of and use the word died but I haven’t got a problem with any other words All I can’t stand is when animals ‘cross over the rainbow bridge’ I feel quite sick then and the other one is when a man says ‘we are pregnant’ I inwardly scream no your not pregnant, your wife is

I agree and I also am not keen on the euphemism ‘lost’ to describe a death.
It seems strange to me because we lose someone in a busy shopping mall or supermarket.

I guess though if the bereaved person finds comfort in using these words, who are we to criticise?

Oops! Sorry for miss-spelling your name

Bet you love “rest room”, farmoor ?

I would always say died and am another one who dislikes "passed".
On a related note, I prefer to say "toilet", than the various other words often used - though "loo" is ok. I particularly don't like "bathroom", for toilets in public places which don't contain a bath!

I say passed to kids trying to be gentle but now it has become a habit. Funny thing is the kids seem fine being blunt about saying dead so maybe am trying to be gentle with nyself

I could not agree more- if somebody has "passed" to where have they passed? They have died, end of.