True Picky Eaters

I grew up during post war rationing. It was actually a very healthy diet, including lots of home grown veg, and i ate almost everything, except beetroot.
My daughter’s children went to a vegetarian nursery and experienced all sorts of foods. They would eat anything put in front if them. They are teenagers now and have their preferences, but have been easy to feed. So lucky.

My daughter is in the process of adopting two children. They've been in fostercare for more than 18 months and one of them was a very picky eater to start with, largely because (as my daughter found when she visited their foster home) she'd been living on oven-cooked and fried food. She wouldn't eat anything that wasn't crisp to the point of almost burnt. This has improved and the was eating or tasting almost anything, until her school had a healthy eating week. They appear to have classified all food as good or bad - not OK in moderation - and my GD refused to eat anything "bad" such as cereal or bread. Fortunately this effect has worn off now but I do feel that little thought sent into the school's programme.
I should mention that my GD is very thin and could eat far more calories than she does with no detriment to her health.

Three of our four boys would eat anything. Son no 3 would only eat weetabix with milk, apples and fish fingers. I considered that a fairly balanced diet and didn’t worry too much. Now a healthy 40 year old who’ll eat anything at all.

Grandson 2 eats a very bland sort of diet. White bread, potato products, chicken nuggets.
We were once in an Italian restaurant, he wouldn't have pizza or pasta, his order, mashed potatoes and chips. They were very good and fulfilled his order.
A few months later he was diagnosed as autistic.
He is another one who doesn't like his food to touch. I give him his baked bean (about the only veg he will eat) in pot on the side.

Who else had school dinners with no choice? Virtually everybody had them. We often moaned, but we ate them, because there was nothing else.
At my first school we were allowed one fad, otherwise you had to eat it.
My ‘fad’ was meat fat, which I still can’t eat - except for very crisped up bacon fat.

When I was about 4 my father tried to trick me into eating it, by hiding some in mashed potato. But I still gagged when it got to the back of my throat, so they stopped trying to get me to eat it.

Cutting the fat off was so automatic, I once found myself cutting it off a slice of ham for a dd of maybe 3.
She said, ‘Can you leave the white edges, Mummy? I like the white edges.’
I never did that again!

I struggled with meat as a child, but I blamed that on school dinners.
My children ate whatever we had, so I was lucky. I never thought about it until my DD started baby-led weaning, ‘because that way they won’t be picky eaters’. It worked with one DGC, but not with the other, who is still picky now. The least picky has his own problems with food which many will recognise. Nothing touching!
He is the biggest practitioner of deconstructed dishes I’ve met. e.g. Bread-no spread on a plate with whatever I’ve provided for sandwich filling, hot it cold, to be eaten separately. The only change is when it’s a choice of hot sausage or bacon bun from a sandwich shop or nothing. Then he always chooses the bun and eats it.

I was put on a table for fussy eaters at school after throwing up beetroot all over a teacher's skirt. Still hate the stuff and tweed skirts.
So when my own daughter got a bit fussy, I went with the flow.
She wouldn't eat the ends of sausages for example.
We discovered the best way to get her to eat was to let her pick off my plate.

I well remember the days of having to sit at the table until I’d eaten my ‘greens’ Mum knew I hated them but dished them up anyway, I kept telling her that if she doesn’t like waste then stop giving them to me.
It was a battle of wills which led one evening to me still at the table on my own until bed time.
I’m nearly 70 and not liking my greens never did me any harm and I never ever forced food onto my children or grandchildren that they didn’t like.
But I still remember the evenings at the table on my own with cold food that I hated.

My DGS is a picky eater. He does has a big enough list of things he'll eat, to stay mostly healthy. His diet of preferance just happens to be quite small.

I can't see the point of forcing him to eat other things. It just causes and argument, and as long as he eats his veg, protein and calcium, think it's OK to just let him eat what he wants.

Of course, he'd eat sweeties until the cows came home. BUT only gets them after the healthy food is eaten.

My youngest son was born with no appetite! We literally had to wake him as a newborn to feed him. I was an experienced mum, my other sons were 15 and 11. He never finished a bottle. I could not believe what he existed on. Sincerely, he had zero interest in food, and it was torture for him to go out for a meal as he grew older. He is now 26, and eats relatively well, he finds ‘textures’ difficult and seems to be hyper sensitive to strong tastes.

Jennifer E, my baby had absolutely everything we ate in liquidised form from the minute he was weaned and yet he turned into the pickiest eater I've ever come across. When we practised 'eat or go without' he was only too happy to comply. It was my lovely Mum who suggested we pamper him a bit. She was worried that he might struggle if he got sick as he had no surplus 'fat' to fall back on. She made a fair point and we pandered to a degree. He is now a fine healthy fellow who is pretty much vegetarian but still of slender frame.

JenniferEccles

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

Doesn’t necessarily work! My Gdd1 would eat absolutely everything, including e.g. curry and chilli, from the start of weaning at 6 months, until she was about 2.
The pickiness than started with a vengeance. Apparently it’s not unusual.

Dd read somewhere that it was Nature’s way of protecting them in long gone eras, when they were of an age to go wandering around and picking up and eating possibly harmful things, rather than waiting for an adult to give them something safe.
I suppose it makes (some sort of) sense.

One of our 5 was a fussy eater. But he would eat sausages,sweetcorn,Granny Smith apples, cheese on toast, as long as it was wholemeal and home made chocolate cake! He ate this limited selection for a long time. He is now in his early 30s and runs ultramarathons! He also eats most things nowadays but is a veggie.

My almost ten year old granddaughter would not eat bread or anything that had the same texture as bread from the time she could eat solids.
It transpired that she had abnormally large tonsils and couldn't swallow the bread, it made her gag.
She has since had her tonsils removed but still doesn't eat bread. The nearest thing she eats is plain pitta bread or bread that has been toasted to within an inch of it's life (almost cremated)'
She is still picky but knows what she likes and I cannot see her ever changing.

I brought up two boy's....both weaned the same.

One day, my younger one decided that he didn't want to eat certain items and over the course of a few months, his diet became more and more limited.

I had so much 'advice', to the point that I actually felt like the worst parent in the world and convinced myself he'd be horrendously damaged by it.
Following the advice and tactics given, which I'm sure in many cases were well meant caused so much anxiety and distress for us both.

I eventually took him to see the G.P, a really lovely man who simply sat back and told me to stop fretting and just give him what he wanted - which by this stage was toast and milk.
We went on like this for months until one day, he just started to try different things.

He's now a 6"6 strapping man who eats everything!

DD1 was extremely picky and ‘lost’ her morning place at Nursery because of it. At her first school, I was asked to supply a list of what she would eat (the alternative would have been immense) as school dinners were becoming a battle of wills. She still doesn’t touch fish, drink milk or eat any milk products other than cheese.

That is the kind of response that makes someone feel bad
My child wasn’t a faddy eater (that implies that they had a different trend every week - not true)
This also was not my first child - they were both weaned exactly the same & offered the same wide range of foods to try. One eats anything, the other not!
My second child would rather have starved than eaten what was on offer! All tactics & suggestions were tried!
Eventually you have to do what you can to get your child to eat

GS1 Ate all sorts of things as a baby but that had reduced to a handful by the time he was three. He also wouldn't have different foods touching on the plate which will ring bells with some people. He really wasn't bothered about food. His packed lunches were carefully made with food he would eat but usually came home hardly touched. Now he's 15 he's not so bad, last week he even ate a bit of pizza - he usually won't touch it because it's got tomato on it! That might be because he's lost his sense of taste because of Covid! His younger brother has always been a complete gannet, although we are noticing that he doesn't really eat meat.

i think every child goes through a picky eater stage, my son never liked vegtables but loved home made soup, i just mashed the veg wth potatos and added to the soup, now he eats a better selection of veg than i do, i only eat, lettuce,tomatos, cucumber and tinned peas. i found that sitting at the table with his dad and asking if he could try a bit of what he was eating helped, sometimes it is just best to give them what you know they will eat,

Children are very aware of what pushes their parents buttons, and food, or lack of, is a major one.
They all grow up anyway.

JenniferEccles

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

My nephew was weaned in exactly the same way as his two siblings. Offered a wide variety of food, but chose to eat peanut butter and Ryvita.
No fuss was ever made, so no tears at mealtimes. He was a happy, well balanced child who grew into a happy, caring, well balanced adult. But he is still very selective with regard to what he will eat. Nothing to do with not being offered a variety of foods as a baby /toddler.

My stance has always been food and meal times should be enjoyed. Even children have full power over what they eat and how much.
I've never made food a battle ground.
I know that heart break and stress some parents have over their children nutrition and I've seen some of the brilliant new things that have come out to assist.

I was lucky , my children ate almost everything. My friends daughter would only eat white bread and chicken and it was definitely not Mums fault! Daughter is now mid 30s and eats all before her. She began to improve when she became a teenager . It was a slow transition, but she got there in the end! Caused parents much anguish but they remained positive.

The truth is that no mum would sit back and watch their child literally starve, would they.
Having read about a little toddler eating the contents of her nappy when left alone for 6 days, then I would say that the urge to survive would win, if put to the test.

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.