True Picky Eaters

As a child /young person my nephew would only eat peanut butter on Ryvita. He ate the same thing for each meal of the day. His parents and the wider family accepted his preference. Now in his early fifties he is a delightful, fit, healthy and successful man. He is also a vegetarian /vegan. Being 'picky' clearly did him no harm.

When my kids were small they were all picky eaters and I always made a different meal for all three of them. I never looked at it by making things difficult for myself, I just made sure they ate a meal.

My younger sister was like this - we 3 older ones were not really fussy at all. She’d decline everything, and then go and eat the bread that had been put in the garden for the birds! My poor mother was at her wits’ end.
I used to spend hours trying to coax her.
Chips or boiled potatoes with salad cream were about the only things she liked.

Now mid 60s she’s still very fussy, can’t bear any milk or dairy, so in restaurants has to tell them absolutely no butter on veg, nothing fried in butter, etc. She’s all organic and largely pescatarian now. Wouldn’t even try halloumi because ‘it looks milky’! (I really don’t like milk or cream either, but I love halloumi.)

I went through a phase when I was a child of eating one food to the exclusion of most others for a few weeks then moving on to the next one, tinned mandarins and mcvities ginger cake were two that I remember. I have a normal diet now.

Most kids will eat if they're hungry enough but there are some that have genuine medical/psychological "food issues". Perhaps mention this next time someone is critical of your parenting. Either that or just [pretend to] agree with them and shrug.

On the other hand, a propensity to develop the illness anorexia nervosa would seem to be at least partly genetic if my wider family is anything to go by.

She’d decline everything, and then go and eat the bread that had been put in the garden for the birds!

Apparently when I was small and refusing to eat my toast, Mum told me to go and feed it to the birds. Apparently I went outside and offered birds some toast in my outstretched hand and said "Here, birdy!" and when they didn't come and get it I ate it myself. Mum just rolled her eyes and laughed.

Galaxy

I went through a phase when I was a child of eating one food to the exclusion of most others for a few weeks then moving on to the next one, tinned mandarins and mcvities ginger cake were two that I remember. I have a normal diet now.

One of my dds at 2 or 3 went through a phase of wanting only boiled eggs (no bread or toast, she’d eat 3), or e.g. plain pasta, or apples, or corned beef - all on their own.

It didn’t bother me, since over the days it was a balanced enough diet. She started eating more or less normally a year or so later.

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

The truth is that no mum would sit back and watch their child literally starve, would they.
Having read about a little toddler eating the contents of her nappy when left alone for 6 days, then I would say that the urge to survive would win, if put to the test.

I was lucky , my children ate almost everything. My friends daughter would only eat white bread and chicken and it was definitely not Mums fault! Daughter is now mid 30s and eats all before her. She began to improve when she became a teenager . It was a slow transition, but she got there in the end! Caused parents much anguish but they remained positive.

My stance has always been food and meal times should be enjoyed. Even children have full power over what they eat and how much.
I've never made food a battle ground.
I know that heart break and stress some parents have over their children nutrition and I've seen some of the brilliant new things that have come out to assist.

JenniferEccles

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

My nephew was weaned in exactly the same way as his two siblings. Offered a wide variety of food, but chose to eat peanut butter and Ryvita.
No fuss was ever made, so no tears at mealtimes. He was a happy, well balanced child who grew into a happy, caring, well balanced adult. But he is still very selective with regard to what he will eat. Nothing to do with not being offered a variety of foods as a baby /toddler.

Children are very aware of what pushes their parents buttons, and food, or lack of, is a major one.
They all grow up anyway.

i think every child goes through a picky eater stage, my son never liked vegtables but loved home made soup, i just mashed the veg wth potatos and added to the soup, now he eats a better selection of veg than i do, i only eat, lettuce,tomatos, cucumber and tinned peas. i found that sitting at the table with his dad and asking if he could try a bit of what he was eating helped, sometimes it is just best to give them what you know they will eat,

GS1 Ate all sorts of things as a baby but that had reduced to a handful by the time he was three. He also wouldn't have different foods touching on the plate which will ring bells with some people. He really wasn't bothered about food. His packed lunches were carefully made with food he would eat but usually came home hardly touched. Now he's 15 he's not so bad, last week he even ate a bit of pizza - he usually won't touch it because it's got tomato on it! That might be because he's lost his sense of taste because of Covid! His younger brother has always been a complete gannet, although we are noticing that he doesn't really eat meat.

That is the kind of response that makes someone feel bad
My child wasn’t a faddy eater (that implies that they had a different trend every week - not true)
This also was not my first child - they were both weaned exactly the same & offered the same wide range of foods to try. One eats anything, the other not!
My second child would rather have starved than eaten what was on offer! All tactics & suggestions were tried!
Eventually you have to do what you can to get your child to eat

DD1 was extremely picky and ‘lost’ her morning place at Nursery because of it. At her first school, I was asked to supply a list of what she would eat (the alternative would have been immense) as school dinners were becoming a battle of wills. She still doesn’t touch fish, drink milk or eat any milk products other than cheese.

I brought up two boy's....both weaned the same.

One day, my younger one decided that he didn't want to eat certain items and over the course of a few months, his diet became more and more limited.

I had so much 'advice', to the point that I actually felt like the worst parent in the world and convinced myself he'd be horrendously damaged by it.
Following the advice and tactics given, which I'm sure in many cases were well meant caused so much anxiety and distress for us both.

I eventually took him to see the G.P, a really lovely man who simply sat back and told me to stop fretting and just give him what he wanted - which by this stage was toast and milk.
We went on like this for months until one day, he just started to try different things.

He's now a 6"6 strapping man who eats everything!

My almost ten year old granddaughter would not eat bread or anything that had the same texture as bread from the time she could eat solids.
It transpired that she had abnormally large tonsils and couldn't swallow the bread, it made her gag.
She has since had her tonsils removed but still doesn't eat bread. The nearest thing she eats is plain pitta bread or bread that has been toasted to within an inch of it's life (almost cremated)'
She is still picky but knows what she likes and I cannot see her ever changing.

One of our 5 was a fussy eater. But he would eat sausages,sweetcorn,Granny Smith apples, cheese on toast, as long as it was wholemeal and home made chocolate cake! He ate this limited selection for a long time. He is now in his early 30s and runs ultramarathons! He also eats most things nowadays but is a veggie.

JenniferEccles

Isn’t the answer to introduce babies to a very wide a range of different food, textures and tastes at the very start of the weaning process, concentrating perhaps more on savoury rather than sweet foods?

Of course children will have likes and dislikes as we all do as adults but I do wonder whether some of these faddy eaters were given a rather limited range of foods as babies.

Doesn’t necessarily work! My Gdd1 would eat absolutely everything, including e.g. curry and chilli, from the start of weaning at 6 months, until she was about 2.
The pickiness than started with a vengeance. Apparently it’s not unusual.

Dd read somewhere that it was Nature’s way of protecting them in long gone eras, when they were of an age to go wandering around and picking up and eating possibly harmful things, rather than waiting for an adult to give them something safe.
I suppose it makes (some sort of) sense.

Jennifer E, my baby had absolutely everything we ate in liquidised form from the minute he was weaned and yet he turned into the pickiest eater I've ever come across. When we practised 'eat or go without' he was only too happy to comply. It was my lovely Mum who suggested we pamper him a bit. She was worried that he might struggle if he got sick as he had no surplus 'fat' to fall back on. She made a fair point and we pandered to a degree. He is now a fine healthy fellow who is pretty much vegetarian but still of slender frame.

My youngest son was born with no appetite! We literally had to wake him as a newborn to feed him. I was an experienced mum, my other sons were 15 and 11. He never finished a bottle. I could not believe what he existed on. Sincerely, he had zero interest in food, and it was torture for him to go out for a meal as he grew older. He is now 26, and eats relatively well, he finds ‘textures’ difficult and seems to be hyper sensitive to strong tastes.

My DGS is a picky eater. He does has a big enough list of things he'll eat, to stay mostly healthy. His diet of preferance just happens to be quite small.

I can't see the point of forcing him to eat other things. It just causes and argument, and as long as he eats his veg, protein and calcium, think it's OK to just let him eat what he wants.

Of course, he'd eat sweeties until the cows came home. BUT only gets them after the healthy food is eaten.