True Picky Eaters

ARFID
What does treatment and recovery involve?

Management strategies for ARFID continue to evolve but include nutritional, psychological, sensory-motor and medical assessment, followed by plans focusing on:

dietary – ensuring that nutritional needs are met to optimise growth and development
psychological – management of parental/child anxiety and coping with mealtimes
sensory-motor strategies – relating to the child’s environment, de-sensitisation strategies and the development of oro-motor skills.6

I must correct the comment that ARFID has little treatment- this isn’t correct and the treatment is gentle. A two pronged approach involving addressing food issues by a psychologist, obviously age appropriate to the child and a dietitian/nutritionist ensures a child’s nutritional needs are met through foods and supplements. Don’t be afraid to seek help. It is completely treatable.
Do your own research, find your own specialist. Just google ARFID treatment/ Specialist.

This is exactly what my grandson suffered from….

My grandson was given everything to try as a baby and devoured it all, however at about 10 months he had a severe tummy upset and it seemed that he could no longer trust food. Almost everything was rejected and he spent the next couple of years eating rice cakes! Eventually he was persuaded to try other things and often it would result in wrenching and vomiting. He was diagnosed as having sensory issues. He didn’t like the texture of lots of foods. He’s now 13 and his diet is still restricted,,,,but so much better. He loves most things that teenagers like…pizza, hot dogs and especially sun-dried tomatoes! Although we accept that it’s not a healthy diet, it’s an absolute joy to see him enjoy food, and I’m sure that he’ll continue to be more adventurous! Sometimes there’s more to it than just being picky!

I felt compelled to comment on this one, there is an eating disorder- ARFID -,often mistaken for picky eating, which if not understood can create great anxiety for the child with the disorder. It is treatable but the earlier the better to avoid the effects of poor nutrition such as osteoporosis. If misunderstood and a child is told off about not eating, can make the situation worse. The GP is the starting point and say that your concern is about nutrition and diet. Say you’ve heard of ARFID and you’d like an assessment for it. It’s better to be safe than sorry! Treatment is both psychological and nutritional.
Im sending a link for information.
www.bda.uk.com/resource/arfid-help-my-child-wont-eat.html

Aldom

As a child /young person my nephew would only eat peanut butter on Ryvita. He ate the same thing for each meal of the day. His parents and the wider family accepted his preference. Now in his early fifties he is a delightful, fit, healthy and successful man. He is also a vegetarian /vegan. Being 'picky' clearly did him no harm.

I could have written this exact post if you exchange toast for Ryvita.

I don't have autism but I didn't like things touching when I was little, didn't like gravy on the meat and potato pie crust for example. My parents tolerated it, after all they had dislikes too and understood.
There is always a reason for fussiness or whatever you call it, it may have the advantage of making it easier for the family in that they don't need to think about what to cook you.
Don't agree with forcing a child to eat what she can't swallow. I remember taking revolting fish and suchlike home from school dinners otherwise I'd have to sit and eat it, although the dinner ladies were kinder than the teachers and let. Me leave the mashed potato. It was not nice, and nowadays I love mashed potato, it was just horrible
Children have always suffered from allergies etc, birds custard powder was developed as Mrs Bird was allergic to eggs,
A friend way back fostered a baby and was told by the doc to give him scrambled egg, as he had suffered neglect. She tried and made him eat it, with the result that he refused to eat with her at all, but would eat at nursery where he felt safe from being forced
My mum came from a large extended poor family and she said she would not go to children's parties because there was always jelly and you had to eat some, but she just couldn't.
Can I recommend a book called my child won't eat, by paediatrician Carlos Gonzales, if any of you are worried it is a tremendously reassuring read. He tells the story of his father who was forced to eat vegetables because they were good for him. As a result once he had a choice he never ate another vegetable

My two daughters were completely different. My eldest was weaned on the usual first foods of baby rice/ egg etc. After that she had mainly the commercial baby foods-milupa I think. She grew into a fussy eater in that she never liked any form of meat apart from sliced ham. She would eat a variety of other foods.
With my youngest everything was home made and frozen in little ice cubes for the days I was working.
As time went on I discovered Quorn and lentils and all was well.
My eldest daughter has remained a vegetarian, she just doesnt like the taste/ texture of meat.
My youngest loves a wide variety of foods including all sorts of vegetables including sprouts and broccoli. She will happily eat a whole bowl of sprouts as a treat!
I do sometimes wonder if the blandness of prepared baby foods influenced my eldest daughters taste buds. On the whole I think we all just have things we dont like. As adults it's acceptable.
I do believe there are other reasons for childeren avoiding foods as mentioned above.
It seems a balance between not turning meals into a massive issue and not ending up cooking four different meals either!

I was not a fussy eater except for shepherd’s pie made from the leftovers of the mutton, minced. I gagged when I tried to swallow it. I still don’t understand why but had to drink a lot of water to get it down or it would be there for the next meal.

Blondiescot

*MamaCaz*, as I said in my post just above, my mother tried (unsuccessfully) to do that to me. I just could not eat that liver, no matter what, so I'm with you on that!

My parents only tried to force me once, then I think they realized that it wasn't worth repeating the experience.

The daft thing is that the food in question wasn't even something that I actively disliked, but I found myself physically unable to swallow it. It was part of the Sunday roast, the brisket of beef. No matter how much I chewed, it didn't reach a point where it would go down my throat. It just got drier and felt to grow in my mouth.
I was threatened with a spanking, then sent to bed, but no way was that meat going to go down my throat!

Maybe if the pieces had been cut smaller in the first place, the whole ordeal would never have arisen.

MamaCaz, as I said in my post just above, my mother tried (unsuccessfully) to do that to me. I just could not eat that liver, no matter what, so I'm with you on that!

I can honestly say, mrsgreenfingers56, that I would have starved rather than given in to such pressures.

I never got the chance to be a picky eater. Parents were sticklers for food being eaten and if you didn't eat your meal you got it for the next meal and then the next meal (going in the 'fridge) and then the next. They wouldn't give in and we did in the end! Now I don't say I agree with it which I don't but I do eat everything now apart from mussels and kidneys! My youngest sister was the worst and I felt sorry for her picking at the same meal over and over again. Oh how times have changed!

I have very vivid memories of my mother trying to force me to eat things I genuinely couldn't stand. I was far from a 'picky eater', but I couldn't stomach liver. Her method was - if I didn't eat it at one meal, I'd get it again for the next. This went on for about three days before she finally realised I just wasn't going to eat it, no matter what. I vowed there and then I'd never subject my own children to the same.
Thankfully, both of mine have been really good eaters, although my son did go through a fussy phase when he was about 7. We went on holiday to Lanzarote and he hated the hotel buffet food because he didn't know what most of it was - each dinner time he'd come back from the buffet with a plate of chips. It was stressing me out until I decided that a week of that really wasn't going to hurt him in the long run. Turning mealtimes into a battle is the worst thing you can do to a child.

As a child, I survived almost exclusively on tomato sarnies, peas, fruit and milk. Hated meat, didn’t mind some white fish. I grew into a 5ft 9in Amazonian! My youngest son was the same. Limited range of pesto pasta, cucumber, few other things. He’s now 6ft 1in and boxes, climbs. We also now both eat anything.
Guess the trick is to find the few things they like that are vaguely healthy and don’t stress about it.

My daughter has very definite likes and dislikes - fortunately her likes are very healthy but that doesn’t stop wider family (which is rife with EDs) calling her fussy, including her dad who has disordered and restrictive eating. I neither reward or punish her with food and she is now trying a wider variety of food. She’s very easy to feed though!

I don't recall having food issues until I started school.

Starting school for me was, for several reasons, hard, but the overriding memories of it are focused on food, and even drink (school milk, even though I don't dislike milk in itself).

My parents were not lax, but I don't ever remember being smacked until I started school - after a few days of school, I was hysterically crying one evening, saying that I didn't want to go to school again. One of my parents eventually lost control and smacked me, though was instantly horrified and apologetic as red marks appeared on my leg.

I spent the whole of my school years avoiding school dinners.

Anyway, looking back, it is the smell of the food and drink that sticks in my mind. Even thinking about it brings back memories of how those smells made me feel!

In fact, whenever we (occasionally) pass the building that used to house that infant school, I can still be overwhelmed by memories of the smells and emotions that food evoked in that stage of my life.

Food issues are not always about the taste of the food itself. It can be so much more complex than that.

With hindsight, I have realised that I only had/ have food issues when I am out of my depth. They are not voluntary, and I don't think that there is anything my parents could have done that would have made any difference.

Whatever the reason, from fussiness to autism to ARFID, the last thing parents need is to judged or made to feel guilty.
Vitamin drops or other supplements or, in extreme cases, maybe a period of tube feeding might be needed.
Above all, support and encouragement for parent and child and avoiding meals becoming a battle ground are best.
It's so easy to judge others which, in itself, us no use to anyone!

There is a absolutely fab utube video regarding Super Nanny, and a child of nine who had only eaten custard creams for years. Super nanny soon put a stop to that.
Of course it’s the parents fault. When there were families of 8 plus children, no one was a picky eater.
I include my self in the criticism. I had picky eating children as Super Nanny didn’t exist.
Today, we went out with my 4 year old Grandson and he wouldn’t drink his orange juice because the straw was the wrong colour….give me strength.

Children on the autistic spectrum very often have very particular food habits. One of my grandsons cannot bear to have any food mixed together - so shepherds pie, lasagne etc is a no no - he will eat all meats As long as they are separated on his plate- he will eat chips and some vegetables - again separated. He is a pretty healthy 14 year old now but it was very trying when he was little!!

Absolutely not mothers not introducing a wide range of foods at weaning. I've known Little ones who} have eaten a very wide range of food when a baby but as they have grown up have eaten far fewer foods mainly popular toddler food. As someone has said this is proba ly a safety thing, once a child can move away from mum they can eat poisonous berries, mushrooms, whatever, when they are tiny you can stop them eating spiders or whatever they find crawling round.
I personally can't eat fat from meat, apart from maybe crispy bacon fat. Can't eat things like egg white or squidgy chewy stuff,like bits of onion or squid or cream. Also various other things. My mum couldn't eat jam or jelly.
Lots of mums nowadays do baby led weaning which works very well. I've seen a video of a baby being spoon-fed mushed up broccoli and rejecting it, then being offered a stick of broccoli and happily chowing it down
Sometimes if a baby has been tube fed it can develop an oral aversiin
However sometimes children take a long time to broaden their menu of things they like, and most do

Can you remember how to get that article? I’m convinced it’s got something to do with smell, too. Although my friend can’t eats foods with names she doesn’t like. “Fungi” or “chutney” for example.

My friend is very “picky”. I believe she has an eating disorder. She avoids most fruit and vegetables, anything in its natural state. It’s more than being picky. She is disgusted by food. All savoury food she will allow herself to eat-has to be in pastry or processed. And cut up into tiny pieces and covered in sauce. I worry about her as her hair is thinning, she is obese, has a thyroid condition, fatty liver etc. She’s fine with cakes, sweets and chocolates. She remembers her mother feeding her in jarred baby food, long after the age of weaning. I would imagine this was a failed attempt to get her to eat.

I was (and still am) a picky eater at 74!
Born prematurely, I did not have a "swallow" reflex, and had to be fed intravenously. When allowed home, I took against meat, due to having seen my Grandmother prepare Chickens and Rabbits for the table (they were kept for that purpose). Always underweight as a child, my Grandmother (who brought me up) was firmly of the "eat it or go without" school. My Grandfather would try to sneak me some fruit from time to time.
I did get "Pernicious Anaemia" and was very ill for a time. I had Doctor after Doctor trying to persuade me to eat meat, to no avail.
I started to eat meat in limited quantities when at 27 I married a man who was a big meat eater. He had to buy and cook the meat for many years, as I could not stand the smell or texture of meat.
I eat it now, but would happily do without!

I was a very 'picky eater' as a child. Yes it's an awful label. I think I often just couldn't be bothered to eat. Mealtimes were an unwelcome interruption through the day. My Mum worried herself silly frequently taking me to the doctor for advice. He said I was perfectly healthy and would eat what I wanted when I wanted it. I grew into a happy healthy adult who ate almost anything.

Each of our three sons went through phases of refusing some (or even all foods!), I told them "Please yourself, you eat what's offered or go hungry" If they chose the hungry option the foods that they liked were shut away. DS1 didn't eat for four days on one occasion, then I found him munching a raw carrot with a potato in his other hand. I offered to cook them for him with his dinner. He agreed. He then began to eat more normally with just the occasional grumble about sprouts! All DSs have grown into strapping healthy men who eat varied diets.

Our GC are treated the same way when at our house and our DILs have often remarked 'She/He won't eat that at home!' Their father will then say 'She knows Nanny won't fuss over her and make her something else'.

It's often said a child will find something to eat rather than starve, and I think it's true. And I was prepared to put it to the test with my sons.

There are countless reasons why children refuse foods, and many people would think my attitude rather harsh (my Mum did), but it worked with my kids.