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A Very Argy Christmas

(392 Posts)
lemongrove Mon 06-Dec-21 14:46:55

Hello All,
Have been waiting for Doodle to open the old Argy up for the festive period, but she has gone to New York ( or possibly York) to do her Christmas shopping.She will be here anytime though, so until then, the doors are open, come in and ‘take the weight off’ and order one of our speciality cocktails or maybe a mulled poteen, and tell us what you’ve been up to.
Sitting on Santa’s knee? Ordering new killer heels?tchsmile

ixion Sat 25-Dec-21 16:44:49

I don't know what she sees in him, tbh What a fine figure of a man Lord L is. And soooo athletic??

Happy Christmas everyone.
Here is my pressie. I do like a man in uniform. They are all ours for the evening, but they have to be back by the morrow as they are on duty outside BP.

And yes, I know (sigh), there are only 9. There were 12 at the start of Pigstrotter Ally, until May and Vi stepped out from the shadows?

lemongrove Sat 25-Dec-21 18:40:47

Ah Thor... a bit like the Duracell bunny when there’s totty about.I have sent him off to get logs for the fire, you can’t miss him, striding through the trees with his big chopper.He can use some of his energy up.
I woke up this morning under a few sacks in the barn, with no idea how I got there! I have to wonder who slept in my four poster bed, because it was definitely used.....hmmm.

lemongrove Sat 25-Dec-21 18:43:13

Am also wishing I hadn’t over indulged ( in so many ways!)
A Christmas to remember....except I can’t, thanks to the extra strong poteen.
Happy Christmas Argie pals!?????

Doodle Sat 25-Dec-21 19:47:46

Ooh ixion that’s the best present ever.
Er which one shall I start with. ?
lemon I did see you earlier in the evening with Brilliantine Brian from the barbers. Not your usual type but you were well gone by then.
Yes Merry Christmas all the Argies. And the merrier the better ??

ixion Sun 26-Dec-21 19:03:50

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a box of ear plugs on the bar inside for the punters.
How the Queen Mother welcomed one playing outside her bedroom window every morning beats me.
An acquired taste, but with all that pumping, squeezing and blowing, our 11 pipers will be valued customers at the bar for poteen and pasties later.

Do you do haggis pasties, Muse? ?

lemongrove Sun 26-Dec-21 19:09:48

Sorry ixion but I couldn’t stand all that ghastly noise, customers or not.....have locked them all in the cellar for the night, we will make them tak’ the high road ( or the low road!)
In the morning.
Now, are there any of muse’s pasties left?

lemongrove Sun 26-Dec-21 19:12:10

Yes Doodle I did have a quick fling with Brian, although with all that brilliantine he’s a slippy customer.?Had to use both hands just to keep him in one place while I had my wicked way with him.

brook2704 Sun 26-Dec-21 20:07:30

Not sure if theres pasties left but there’s lots of turkey sandwiches on the bar ..
not seen May or Vi all day - they went off to the Boxing Day sales this morning .

maddyone Sun 26-Dec-21 20:50:24

How about haggis flavoured poteen for the new year celebrations?

maddyone Sun 26-Dec-21 20:51:25

I’m not a Scot but I do loves Scotsman. Can you release one for me lemon?

ixion Mon 27-Dec-21 10:00:43

Is Lord L around, Lemongrove?

He's got to be an improvement on this lot.
We surely could've got a slightly more, er, youthful lot to leap about?

Sorry folks☹️

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 14:57:19

Nice idea ixion but not too keen on the bagpipes. Those swirling kilts don’t leave much to the imagination. How about we let them out of the cellar but keep the bagpipes locked away.
Great idea about the haggis poteen Maddy I’m sure AGA will be on it straight away whenever she returns from the Manor. Last seen trying to snatch a flask of viagra poteen away from Lord L before he did himself an injury.
brook at least with May and Dyna off at the sales we can have a quick tidy up without them getting in the way. Those sandwiches are beginning to curl at the edges. Let’s grab a couple of trays and go out down Pigstotter Alley and see if we can flog them out at half price.
lemon can you keep an eye on the bar and if the elf and safety people come round, hide the rest of those sandwiches,

brook2704 Mon 27-Dec-21 18:26:14

Right that’s all the leftovers cleared away, the poteen topped up, the cellar floor swept and the Christmas fairy back on the top of the tree
Shhhh Lord Lemon is still snoozing quietly in the corner …best leave him he’s had a few late nights ?

AGAA4 Mon 27-Dec-21 19:25:53

I have come back from the manor to add some Alka seltzer and imodium to the mix of poteen to soothe the sore heads and stomach problems of the last few days.
Bjorn is exhausted. I have put him on the comfy chair with a llama blanket over him. He keeps saying he never wants to see another woman again. Don't know what you all have done to him. He is a shrivelled specimen of his former self.

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 19:49:57

Only you would know that AGA ?
Yes please I’ll have some of the soothing mixture. My stomach feels like it’s been in the boxing ring.
It’s so peaceful in here tonight.
I think I’ll just settle in the corner with Gnasher to keep me warm and have a little nap.

Doodle Mon 27-Dec-21 19:51:34

brook thank you for clearing up. Place looks spotless. Well apart from Lord L . Couldn’t you have given him a bath before bringing him in. I can’t imagine what or who he’s been rolling in but he reeks of cheap perfume.

Doodle Wed 29-Dec-21 19:17:46

Ok everyone I think we need a rest after Christmas and the party at Lemongrove Manor. Have a break but I expect to see you all back here on New Year’s Eve for our New Year’s party bash with our pantomime Aladdin, karaoke, fancy dress party.
See you then ?

Doodle Wed 29-Dec-21 19:32:21

I thought we might dedicate our New Years Eve party to Soop in wishing her good luck in getting her operation soon.

We need Soop well so she can help with the cooking again.
I want to build a new rock garden out back and we need some of her delicious scones for the foundations. ?

brook2704 Wed 29-Dec-21 21:33:04

Great idea Doodle sounds like it’ll be a good night
I’ll get my mop and bucket out and make sure we’re all spruced up ready for our NYE party. The llamas will have to be moved into the barn and bribed to behave. I’ll get the party lights up and order some big bangers and sparklers for our firework display.
Best get some glasses for the poteen if we’ve VIP ladylike guests - no swigging out of the bottle as usual
I’ll put an order in for some posh canapés too ..

brook2704 Wed 29-Dec-21 21:36:55

Oooh almost forgot - I’ll get the karaoke playlist ready for you grannmarie

lemongrove Wed 29-Dec-21 21:43:01

Pace yourselves gals! Nearly time for the New Year bash here in the Argy.I have put on half a stone so need a visit to Madame Pom Pom’s for a super outfit, see you there too?

brook2704 Wed 29-Dec-21 21:53:31

Yep I’ll pop along tomorrow too lemon
I wonder if Bjorn is getting his old Abba outfits out ..

Grannmarie Wed 29-Dec-21 23:26:28

Thank you Brook, I've just popped in to get my bearings before I come on Hogmanay.
Thanks very much Doodle for your kind invitation in Soop's Kitchen. It looks like you had a very lively Christmas, I'd better start training! ?
Although I have been known to enjoy Karaoke, after a small libation..or three.. don't raise your hopes that I can actually sing ?
I taught Infants for many years, if they got restless I used to warn them,
' Be good or I will sing to you!'
God love them, they just laughed, they endured my attempts!
Looking forward to popping in soon!

Doodle Thu 30-Dec-21 00:09:22

Grannmarie a drop of our speciality poteen will be all the libation you need. ?
Ooh lemon don’t you dare steal that dress Madame Pom Pom has made for me. ?

maddyone Thu 30-Dec-21 00:11:42

I’ve already got my Aladdin fancy dress. Be quick girls, Madame PomPom’s is very busy, you don’t want her to run out of fancy dresses.