VS. I (and others) keep saying that we have nothing against men living as transwomen, and that we do see transpeople as valid. You, trisher and GagaJo keep saying that we don't. I see your collective refusal to accept that we mean what we say as gaslighting and disrespectful, but there is nothing that I or others on this thread can do to change that.
Nobody, as far as I can see (but people will correct me if I'm wrong) has said that they don't want people to have a right to live their best lives so far as they don't hurt others. Where you and we seem to differ is that you appear to believe that women should suppress their feelings about single-sex spaces and the other things that are often repeated on here, and just allow men to do as they wish, so long as they say they are women. We feel differently.
Of course we all understand privilege. I think your idea that 'many people' don't comes from a similar discussion about race, which points out that many white people don't understand how it feels to be sidelined or disadvantaged (not necessarily materially) simply because they are white, and have therefore not lived as black people. That is not applicable to women as a sex. We may have different material and/or status advantages from one another, but we share the position of being women in a patriarchal society. We do understand, as we have lived as women.
I have yet to hear a supporter of trans rights explain what rights trans people are denied, what disadvantage they suffer, how they are 'the most victimised group in society' etc. All we hear is that they are, never in what ways, or specifics about the rights that have supposedly been denied. Therefore it is difficult to understand what is meant by their lacking privilege.
As a generalisation, transwomen were socialised as male. They have all the advantages that go with that. Many keep their male appearance, which adds to that advantage. Transmen have chosen to join the gender that is privileged. The law prevents sex discrimination and gender is protected by hate crime legislation, from which women as a sex are not protected. Where is the discrimination?
You say that you keep looking for solutions which we reject. I accept that you think you do this, but don't you think that if things were that simple there wouldn't be a problem? This is not a case of persuading children to play nicely. There are genuine conflicts here - if men who want to play sport as female get their way, female competitors are going to lose out. If men who want to enter female spaces get their way, women who want or need those spaces lose out, etc. Sometimes there just isn't a compromise, however much it would be great if one could be found.
Whataboutery is never helpful, and explaining that women also assault one another is an insult to our intelligence. We Know That. The point is that in the vast majority of cases a male-bodied prisoner (or a male bodied anyone) with male hormones and a proclivity for sex offences and violence is a danger to female-bodied prisoners with female hormones. It's as simple as that.
The refusal to accept that not all transwomen are like Hayley in Coronation Street, and the insistence that anyone who says so is transphobic or unsympathetic to the Hayleys is very unhelpful. The No Debate and TWAW mantras are extremely damaging to many transpeople, to lesbians and to women in general.
Yes, people get frustrated on threads like this, and at times get a bit snappy. We say the same things over and over, but get told we don't know our own minds, and are gaslighted by being told what we really think.