Feeling useless at everything

It seems to me Songstress60 that you have a good heart - you help others and volunteer. You work hard at things even if you find them difficult and when you fail you get right back on and have another go. Lots of people don't do that.
Whilst you might not have liked the outcome, your idea for your garden design was really innovative and creative. I admire you for all that.

Also, can I add that your post was beautifully written and even though I could feel your pain through it I enjoyed the clever, interesting way you had written it and was compelled to read more.

I honestly can't tell you how many things I can't do or have failed at. I'm a crap cook, I'm fat and my hair is always a total state and gave up my volunteering job because I didn't like the nit picking boss. I garden like a dream though and give good hugs. We're none of us perfect.

Give yourself a break lady because you sound great just how you are.

I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. You're probably good at lots of things and a nice person.
I feel pretty useless too. I can't swim or drive despite trying to learn. I'm a pretty rubbish cook. I can't decorate, paint, sew, make cakes or do anything like that. I didn't get any exams at school. When I wrap Christmas presents they look like a dog's hind leg. Everything really. It was all down to confidence and an awful childhood which left me with no confidence and low self esteem. was good at my job but it was only basic office work and typing so nothing earth shattering. However I'm trying to accept myself. I know I'm a decent person. That will have to do. Be kinder to yourself.

I think you are either depressed, menopausal or suffering from January blues! I see a woman who has many skills and is very resilient. She doesn't find it easy to do one thing, but keeps trying and actively looks for other activities. As for decorating, I have painted and papered in the past. It wasn't always to professional standards, but I felt proud I had tried. Could you be a perfectionist? I have a friend who throws out art work because it isn't up to her standards. Sometimes she can't even start for fear of failing. I also paint, mainly flowers and they are rarely as good as I would like, however I enjoy the process and it absorbs me. I think you are being hard on yourself.

Try to reframe your thinking - focus on the positives. It took you a while, but you PASSED your driving test. When you retired and did voluntary work, you showed strength of character by leaving an uncomfortable situation. At least you attempted the paintings…….
What make you happy?

It sounds as though you have had all the confidence knocked out of you, I think perhaps some counselling would enable you to get some of it back and value yourself?