Stop comparing yourself with other people all the time and take confidence in your lack of confidence.
I am mildly dyspraxic whuch means I am the original clumsy child, falling over my feet, spilling things. If there is wall with wet paint on it, I will always get some on my clothes, always the clothes I most like. To rub it in I come from a family of dexterous needle women, Grandmother, mother and aunts, sister, daughter and granddaughter.
I stopped sewing because everyone was better than me, everyone was nice to me, always tried to help me, trying to show me the right way to do anything, but always saying, essentiall, i was doing it wrong
Everything was turned upside down when adult DD turned to me one day and said, "Forget 'if a things worth doing it is worth doing well'. Say, instead,'If a things worth doing it is worth doing badly' " Think about it.
I did and when I have written this post, I am going up stairs to get on with my needlework. My specialty is home furnishings, I make curtains, cushion covers, have re-covered a settee (with help from DD)
Nothing I have made would bear inspection from even a half- good needlewoman, but they look OK and I like them.
So turn your life around, quite literally and take pride in what you do, it may not be perfect, but it is the best you can do. Stop giving a toss for other people's opinions.
Although it seems to me, your real problem is you. You did some paintings, you thought they were amateurish, you threw them away. Why did the fact that they werent perfect make you throw them away? What is wrong with having pictures in your house that do not conpare with those in the National Gallery. DH has been a hobby painter. His pictures are 'amateurish', but they are still hanging on the wall in the hall. A friend's house has her DHs, less than perfect pictures in every room.
I would support all those who suggest you seek counselling. There must be a reason you are so negative about everything and so determinedly see yourself as a failure. It does seem internally generated rather than driven by other's comments. Counselling could help
I took my driving test 5 times before I passed. It was another 10 years before my dyspraxia was diagnosed, which explained all the problems I had had passing the test.
Good Morning Monday 29th April 2024