How to get visitors to leave?

My mother always kept a hat beside the front door. Before opening it, she would put it on. If she was happy to see the visitors, she would say, " how lovely to see you- I've just come in!". If not wishing to have them in, she would say "Oh, I'm frightfully sorry, I'm just going out".
Worked every time.

Most visitors we have never go, its so irritating, one thing which does make them move is our lamps are on timers, not very early ones, but a reminder when they have been here for hours and the lights turn off, they say " oh is it that time", after about five or six hours. I would love to say yes it is but am too polite to say anything.

When I invite people I always ask them early , say 7, but make a point of saying “ let’s have an early start and finish , say carriages at 10.”
Works like a charm!

My Dh used to work in the building trade so was up at 5.45 in the week and left for work just after 6 usually having to get a train into London. He never got home till 7 or later if the
trains were not in time.
Most of our family knew this so they would come on a Saturday evening to see us.

A work colleagues son was invited to dinner at Chequers when Tony Blair was Prime Minister.They were told beforehand that as soon as Tony stood up, it was their signal to leave. Worked every time!

I wish I had visitors nowadays.

My pet peeve is people who drop in unannounced

I solved that by telling visitors about the other people who had dropped by unannounced, as in

"So-and-so dropped by yesterday. It was so lovely to see her and find out all the news but I do wish she would call before she comes over - I had planned to do this or that and won't be able to do it tell next week now. Some people don't realise that not everyone has lots of time on their hands"

so everyone got to know I needed them to call because I had lots to do and I never had to have a go at anyone. There were a few people who always thought it applied to everyone but themselves and needed something a bit more graphic but in general it worked. And no one ever knew the people I was talking about.

Our cat used to get restless if it got late because she knew when put to bed in the kitchen she would get a treat . A good excuse to wind things up .

Go and get hot water bottles and say "I'll get the kettle on to get these warmed up now it's time for bed".

A friend's dad had dementia and when he'd had enough of visitors he would make his hand into a gun shape and say " bang, bang you're dead!" Visitors left very quickly.

Some very amusing posts - I love this one...

The matter was resolved when one of the sons of the house, a young man in his late teens like my mother, announced:

"You're sitting on the chair I put my clothes on when I go to bed."

That's a corker !

But seriously; I don't know quite what the protocol is for an evening visit - or any other time of day visit come to that, but my intuition tells me that if someone asks me round for coffee / drink / chat, after a couple of hours max, it would be time to make a move. Any longer and I would feel that I was outstaying my welcome.

However, as others have noted, some people are a bit thick-skinned, or just don't want to leave the warm glow of your hospitality (which is maybe rather sad) so I think with such people you just have to be politely honest and tell them that you have things to do / or are tired and need to go to bed, depending on the time of the visit.

My pet peeve is people who drop in unannounced - not those that come for 10 minutes, but those that are 'dropping by' and intend to stay for a couple of hours. I just sit seething and annoyed with myself that I didn't have the guts to say something like "now is not a good time". Like many, I suspect, I plan my day and as the sole carer of a disabled partner with whom I run a small consultancy agency, it's usually a pretty busy day and I just don't have hours to spare. Unless it's an emergency.

Zoejory

I've heard going upstairs and returning with your pyjamas on is a good way.

My OH’s boss used to put his dressing gown on then say “Goodnight. Please switch the lights off when you leave”.

Lizzie44

An aunt of mine was renowned for her hospitality and also for her way of drawing an evening to a close. She used to stand up and say "Well, that's been a lovely evening, hasn't it?" At the same time she would be moving slowly towards the door with her arms slightly out in a gesture of herding.

This is another ploy l have.

I find standing up and not adding to the conversation any more usually gives people a good hint. A friend of ours will fetch people’s coats down.

"Well this has been nice chatting, we're just the opposite we're early risers, be safe going home, it's our bedtime now" stand up with a smile and ask if they need help getting up and politely escort them to the door....oh yes make sure to yawn many times before you say it.

This is no help to you whatsoever…
About 25 years ago my eldest (of 3) children had just done his first year in YR 7. Summer holidays arrived and on the Friday he wanted a friend to come over for the Evening, Mum would pick up later at the agreed time of 9pm.
Long story short he stayed 6 weeks with us until just before the schools went back. I didn’t mind really as he was no trouble and his Mum would pop down every Saturday to drop off a bag of goodies from Sainsburys!

MissAdventure

My neighbour says "well, piss off then!"
Just in case I may be lingering too long.

Love that!

My ex used to invite all sorts of people round (admittedly it was his house)
Then he would slope off to bed and I'd be left with them.

My late father actually went out of the room and came back in his blue striped pyjamas.

Grab them by the scruff of the neck and put them out with the cat.

Go and put your pyjamas on!

An aunt of mine was renowned for her hospitality and also for her way of drawing an evening to a close. She used to stand up and say "Well, that's been a lovely evening, hasn't it?" At the same time she would be moving slowly towards the door with her arms slightly out in a gesture of herding.

My neighbour says "well, piss off then!"
Just in case I may be lingering too long.

Mum has Alzheimer’s, don’t think she even knows who we are half the time, but the one funny thing she does is convey that she’s had enough by moving to the past tense. She’ll just suddenly announce “well, it’s been lovely seeing you, thank you, I’ve had a lovely day”. Makes us laugh every time but it works, we leave her to it then!

If only I'd known all these sure fire tips . Unfortunately, it's never happened to us before so we weren't prepared. I tried avoiding eye contact and just not speaking. Didn't matter he just droned on. DH ignored our guest's empty glass (after three refills) but our guest just pointed out that his glass was empty again! In retrospect, there were key times but we missed them. He just talked on and on and kept going down the hall and lingered outside the front door. Never again!