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How to get visitors to leave?

(139 Posts)
Aveline Sun 06-Feb-22 10:37:32

That's all really. How do you subtly convey that they've been here long enough and it's time to go. This only happened to us for the first ever time last night and I suspect our visitor's monologue could be going on still! He was only asked in for a drink...
Any subtle ideas?

Gagagran Sun 06-Feb-22 10:42:51

My Dad's standard signal was to get up and put the milk bottles out ready for the next day delivery. It made it clear that the evening was over!

MerylStreep Sun 06-Feb-22 10:43:29

I’ve embarrassed my OH for years with this problem.
I just stand up and say ok peeps, time to go because I want to go to bed

aggie Sun 06-Feb-22 10:45:29

My Dad used to get up , still chatting , and wind the clock on the mantelpiece ! Then he remained standing , so everyone else got to their feet lol
My dear departed BIL never said a word but slid out of the room and disappeared to bed , the visitors would suddenly realise he wasn’t coming back and we would all get up and leave .

Oldwoman70 Sun 06-Feb-22 10:45:51

No ideas I'm afraid but your post does remind me about someone who dropped in one afternoon for a "quick" coffee, it was a hot day and we sat in the garden and DH, being a very hospitable person, opened a bottle of wine. After several hours (and another bottle of wine) she was still there. I was undergoing chemotherapy and several times mentioned how tired I was - eventually I went off to bed. She still didn't take the hint and ended up having to spend the night as she was not fit to drive home!

Aveline Sun 06-Feb-22 10:46:53

Gosh. How bold. I was mentally trying these out during the last two and a half hours of his monologue but chickened out. Poor DH was looking so tired and fed up but our visitor was completely impervious.

glammanana Sun 06-Feb-22 10:47:07

Its only happened a couple of times over the years,the last time it was " sorry my eyes are closing time for bed" that got them moving towards the door.

EllanVannin Sun 06-Feb-22 10:47:25

Put your coat on before you know they're arriving grin

Aveline Sun 06-Feb-22 10:49:26

He was here by invitation for 'a drink'.

Namsnanny Sun 06-Feb-22 10:50:04

Did you stay friends with her Oldwoman70?
If do have you ever laughed about it with her?

Standing up is the best way of signaling without saying much, I think.

tanith Sun 06-Feb-22 10:52:58

Some people just can’t take a hint, next time be brave stand up and say well it was nice to chat but we’re both having an early night and walk to the door.

Grandmabatty Sun 06-Feb-22 10:56:32

Don't invite them again!!! We are cursed with politeness sometimes, aren't we? "Well this was nice, wasn't it?" And go and get their coat. But whatever you say, avoid, "we must do it again sometime." ?

Zoejory Sun 06-Feb-22 10:58:55

I've heard going upstairs and returning with your pyjamas on is a good way.

Hiraeth Sun 06-Feb-22 10:59:12

My late husband used to say „ so I’ve talked and listened enough today I’m now going to bed !“ and nobody was offended ?

Aveline Sun 06-Feb-22 11:03:05

Our hearts sank when he happily announced that he's a night time person and loves late nights!
I like all your good suggestions. I'll bear them in mind -but we're never asking him back!

Elegran Sun 06-Feb-22 11:09:19

The answer to that would have been "Oh I wish I was. After about ??? o'clock I find my eyelids start to droop and I can't concentrate on what people are saying." followed by offering a cup of coffee/cocoa/hemlock "before you go".

JaneJudge Sun 06-Feb-22 11:11:16

You say, I'm ever so sorry Dave and Sandra but we need to hot the sack now as we have a busy day tomorrow. They collect their coats and go home!

JaneJudge Sun 06-Feb-22 11:11:39

to hit the sack not hot it smile

Callistemon21 Sun 06-Feb-22 11:13:48

I remember staying up with my MIL because she'd snooze from 9 until 10 then get her second wind.
DH used to go off to bed before she woke from her snooze but I couldn't just leave her there on her own.
She used to stay for about 3 weeks at a time!

In the end I used to say I was going to bed at about 11.30 but could still hear her moving around upstairs.

Jaxjacky Sun 06-Feb-22 11:15:09

We have said ‘got to go to bed now, we’re up early tomorrow for xxx’

EllanVannin Sun 06-Feb-22 11:17:10

My mum would have been out with it "haven't you got a home to go to ?" Quite embarrassing, but never failed grin

FarNorth Sun 06-Feb-22 11:23:43

"Sorry, I'll have to chuck you out now - it's my bedtime."
or
"Oh well, it was nice seeing you." while getting up & moving to open the door.

Mollygo Sun 06-Feb-22 11:25:24

EllanVannin

My mum would have been out with it "haven't you got a home to go to ?" Quite embarrassing, but never failed grin

My mum’s favourite too. grin Now we say, “Time for the dog’s last walk. You’re welcome to come with us.” Works better in winter!

BlueSky Sun 06-Feb-22 11:26:15

Aveline it wasn’t my DH was it? I keep warning him that he chats too much and could overstay his welcome. I had a bit of respite with the Covid restrictions but he’s now rearing to go!

EllanVannin Sun 06-Feb-22 11:27:38

Tee hee hee, Mollygo the old versions were the best.