did you go back to work ?

Yes, to Uni first- started same day as youngest started school. Then on to ful time teaching. Could not have been a 'housewife' beyond 8 years at home.

I think 'just' a housewife a bit harsh if there were two children.

It would be good if one of the legacies from WFH and flexible hours will enable one parent to be at home when children beyond the age of childminders get back from school as was usual in the '50s and '60s.

Many young teenagers manage well on their own but just as many regularly come home in a temper or in tears and for them a parent ready to pay a bit of attention and provide a bit of comfort food is irreplaceable.

We need not belittle flower-arranging. I often wish I had that talent.?

Yes, once my last one of 3 went to high school I worked in a stressful very physical job for 20+ yrs in the NHS it knackered my body but I’m grateful for the pension I earned it means I’m not struggling like so many.

I had a part time job when my youngest was 2. I mostly worked part time till I retired at 66. I looked after my 2 GCs till they were 15 and 17. I loved having a paid job and helping with my GCs.
I also liked being at home on one occasion when I was made redundant. Still felt useful.

One played a big part in bringing up her granchildren but the other was just a housewife and church flower arranger

Oh dear - whatever happened to female solidarity
That just speaks volumes.
Who are we to judge how anybody chooses their priorities or way of life?

I don't know anyone who never went back to work after having children, though many worked part time. My mother was born in the 1920s and most of her friends did a part time job once the children were teens.
I had a job a few hours a week when my children were very small and was full time by the time they were in secondary school.

Just a housewife? For some couples, being a home maker is a job in itself. If it's what suits them, as a couple, for one of them to stay at home and take on all the home responsibilities and the other to go out to work, who is to say that's wrong? As for the flower arranging; what's so bad about having a hobby or skill and using it in the community?

There are a million ways of living a life and some of them will be different to our own.

The hand that rocks the cradle...

I'm 'just a house wife' now and not a very good one either. However, I worked non stop until my retirement after my training only going down to part time for a few years when the children were very small. Life demanded that I work back then. DH was made redundant several scary times in the 70s and early 80s. Being just a housewife back then would have been an unimaginable luxury to me. It was OK though as all my friends had jobs.

People need to live their lives the way they want to. Working outside the home does not make that person better than one that does not.

My Mum didn’t but there were six of us over a 21 year stretch!
When I was born she certainly didn’t need to work.
It is nice for children to have a parent there at home.
And even though teenagers protest otherwise imo they are more in need of someone there than say a 5,6 or 7 year old.
Needs must though.

I worked for 9 months when I was 17 in Debenhams head office, then went to the Far East.
I then started working part time at 37, at 43 I went full time and I retired at 62.

I never went back to work, not even part time. I regarded being a mother as a full time job. Teenage children need you even more than younger ones. I was ‘always there’.

By the time my children were grown up, I was widowed and free to do as I liked. I had enough money, via my and my husband’s pensions. Not a lot, but enough. My job had not been the sort you can stop and then pick up again, and although I hadn’t minded it I was not itching to return. I did my own thing, very happily. I was and am never bored.

It’s a very personal thing, though, isn’t it Floradora9 For you, it was important to go out to work, it played a part in you feeling fulfilled. However, for others, being at home, running the household was more important for them than going out to work, and if this is financially possible, then that decision is an equally valid one to make. There is nothing wrong with either choice in my view - but it’s not fair to make judgements about those choices others choose to make if they differ from your own.

I was a latch key kid at 7. My mum had a variety of jobs including probably one of the very first sales representatives in Yorkshire. I went back to work when my youngest was 2+. Had childminders and then nursery and after school care. Worked part time at first, then supply, then full-time. The women in my family always worked.

I only know two women who didn't work after children. One, lady much older than me. The other, a friend of a similar age. Gave up work when she had children because they thought it was better for children to have someone at home. Then 10 years later, her husband left her and she was scr**ed financially. She still hasn't recovered financially from that divorce, 30 years later.

I saw my mother living in poverty, post divorce. My friends example was just reinforcement for me. Do not ever be financially dependent on a man. Not for nothing is it called the feminisation of poverty.

My mum stayed home, and it was lovely.
Coming home on a cold, snowy day, and knowing my slippers would be warming by the fire, and a casserole was in the oven.

I was the main breadwinner for most of the time with my first late husband - he was the one with part time work.
It did mean when he died I didn’t have to worry too much about finance (apart from when the bank blocked my salary when I let them know he’d died as they thought the man must be the breadwinner- they were very apologetic!)
It does also mean now I have a decent pension in my own right!

I went back to work when my second child was four due to financial necessity
My daughter went back to work when her baby was 6 months old mind you she has an excellent career and has been able to afford the nursery fees
I have only ever worked part time since having the children to allow me to juggle the home and childcare

I was just a housewife floradora and I didn't even arrange flowers!

DH and I worked as a team. His earning power far exceeded mine and he worked very hard. My being just a housewife enabled him to concentrate on work while I took care of everything else.

We had 5 children, a big house and garden, dogs, cats, sick parents. I did his books and I did voluntary work. And, if any of dh's staff were ill - guess who stood in?

We were able to afford this because DH had studied hard and worked hard.

I consider myself lucky that I was able to be 'just' a housewife but it was definitely not a soft option.

Kali2

Yes, to Uni first- started same day as youngest started school. Then on to ful time teaching. Could not have been a 'housewife' beyond 8 years at home.

Snap! I got my PGCE when my youngest started school and worked as a teacher until I retired at age 60. In the seven years I was not working, I had to do something to earn some money as it was when mortgage rates were very high so I did a weekly paper round, delivered the yellow pages, addressed envelopes for a local company and held Tupperware parties. These were all done while my children were at school or at weekends or in the evenings so I did not pay for child care. I on,y earned a pittance really but it all helped!

I went back to work when my daughter was 8 days old ,I had worked until I was in labour the day she was born.I took her with me and she stayed at my side in her pram ,When she was mobile she got her own desk and toys and before she started school she put stamps on letters and labels on mounts .Self employed in a newish business there was no choice .I wouldn't change it if I could .It worked very well and she was the most sociable child who could carry a conversation with customers from a very young age.
I always wondered what did SAHM 's do all day ? I still cooked cleaned ,shopped etc and did the VAT ,sometimes at midnight

I worked 6 to 10 at night as a hotel receptionist just after my children were born. Ex husband use to look after them while I worked as we needed the money. After did I just did what ever work I could manage until they were older enough for me to work full time. Paid a full stamp and have two works pensions so it paid off,

Mapleleaf

It’s a very personal thing, though, isn’t it Floradora9 For you, it was important to go out to work, it played a part in you feeling fulfilled. However, for others, being at home, running the household was more important for them than going out to work, and if this is financially possible, then that decision is an equally valid one to make. There is nothing wrong with either choice in my view - but it’s not fair to make judgements about those choices others choose to make if they differ from your own.

I was not making any judgements on my friends at all I just wondered if others felt like me and wanted to work . My children never miss out as I worked part time only and it was a good example to them too I think . I felt there were only so many cakes that needed baking , toilets to clean etc.