did you go back to work ?

My mum never went back to paid work, she arranged the church flowers and ran a coffee morning once a week at the church for anyone who wanted to pop in and helped with the care of my granny. I returned to work as a dinner lady when the youngest went to school and then later moved on to part time office work DH then retired early and I soon followed him. DD's didn't work whilst their children were pre school but are back full-time now.

There is nothing more judgemental than calling someone 'judgemental'- in fact.

MayBeMaw

^One played a big part in bringing up her granchildren but the other was just a housewife and church flower arranger^

Oh dear - whatever happened to female solidarity
That just speaks volumes.
Who are we to judge how anybody chooses their priorities or way of life?

I totally agree. And yet, as said above - when I chose to go back to full time study at Uni, other mums were aghast! Other dads too! And even at interview at two Universities, I was asked if my OH didn't have enough on his plate already without me wanting to become a student. So I felt very judged, I can assure you. Same when I went to teach full time.

So judgement can seriously go both ways.

"just a housewife a church flower arranger" oh dear, how condescending.

I went back to work when our youngest started full time education in a full time job but left after 6 months as we didn't feel it was right for me or the boys.

I was fortunate to get a job in a primary school after that so had all the same holidays and they only needed to go to a childminder for an hour in the mornings.

What was everyone paying their childcare people ? Even a babysitter is very expensive
It’s all well & good if u have free child care. The sums don’t add up if you don’t … You need to be a high earner to make it worth it

MayBeMaw - totally agree with you, when did we all get so judgmental?

I've never been "just" anything.
Nobody is just one thing; they're a myriad of all things.

Even the 7 year wait....

My story is exactly the same as Calistemon.

I did go back and check what I wrote- and NO I never said 'just a housewife' anywhere, I am glad to say.

What I said '' Could not have been a 'housewife' beyond 8 years at home.'' - nothing demeaning in this at all. It was not for me, but it was for many of my friends, and that was totally fine. Actually, you will find that those of us who decided to go back to work, or in my case, back to study as I had missed out due to a severe accident aged 19 - were ofted judged very harshly by other mums at the time.

I was just a housewife for years when the kids were little. I went back out to work doing shop work the trained to be a nursery nurse which I still do. I do like my independence and my earnings have really helped over the years when times got tough. I don’t applaud myself for working but I’m pleased that I did this and I have the opportunity to help our finances as well as making some lovely friends and memories.

Esspee

I was happy to be a full time mum while my children were at school. Once they went to Uni and could drive I took a part time job. It was very important to my husband and me that our children were not brought up by other people.

I like your last sentence. I felt the same.

Some of us have no choice: my mother would have loved to continue to teach but marriage ended that ambition (teachers in her day couldn't continue if they married). I was a single mother of twins and couldn't afford not to. Neither of us had a choice. Having said that, I am not sure I would have made a good stay-at-home Mum but everyone is, if they are able, entitled to make their own choices about their own life without others making assumptions or being critical about those choices.

We were married for 7 years before our first child arrived and I worked full-time throughout that time, so we were able to save for a deposit for a house and furnish it (some of the furniture was second-hand even so).
So I enjoyed having a few years as a SAHM before going back to college then back to work.

Others won't agree and that is their prerogative.

Remember - we should straighten each other’s crowns not knock them off
Brilliant, Mamma7

I was happy to be a full time mum while my children were at school. Once they went to Uni and could drive I took a part time job. It was very important to my husband and me that our children were not brought up by other people.

I didn’t return to work after my children were born, although I would have if it was a financial necessity. My parents were divorced just after I was born and my mother had to work in a very demanding job full time, including Saturday mornings, so my sister and I were sent to boarding school, I was nine when I started. I totally understood why I was there, but I always thought if I had children of my own I would want to be there for them when they came home from school, and I have absolutely no regrets. Now they both have children of their own and are unable to stay at home, as is mostly the case for their generation. We have helped them out with childcare and have a great relationship with them all.

I worked in our car parts business for 8 years -unpaid- then went into full time office work for the. Next 20years so had X2 careers/work stints. I had nothing whilst at home. Ex did not buy ONE single item of clothing for children or me in our 18 years of coupling. Tight as the proverbial. I was happy with little ones and always thought that I didn deserve to ask for anything if I was not contributing. Funny how mind control works....

I went back to work weeks after each of my three were born - and breastfed (with the aid of breast pump at times). Career women were suppose to have it all in those days!!
It was extremely hard and fortunately I had/have an extremely supportive husband. Would I do it again? I don’t know the answer to that one.
I don’t think there’s such a thing as “just a housewife” - we all should do what is right for us at the time.
My career was important to me in my 20s and 30s but my attitude changed and I would advise anyone to think carefully about going back to work too soon, if at all.
On the other hand it meant we had a very good standard of living and holidayed with our children all over the world, they had lots of hobbie/activities and have grown into great adults who chose to come back and live near us.
They all returned to work after quite short maternity leaves, which saddens me a little because I know how hard it is - but it’s their choice, I just asked them to think very carefully about their decisions.
Remember - we should straighten each other’s crowns not knock them off….

I went back to teaching full time when my younger child was 6 and I retired at 55. I enjoyed my teaching career but am also thoroughly enjoying my retirement.

I also missed out on Home Responsibilities Protection. I returned to work in January 1979.

I had to give up full time work when i had my second child as the childcare costs were more than i could earn, but still did some small jobs during the evening and my DH and MIL used to take over the childcare while i was at work. My DH died just before my second went to school, so i had to go back to work, luckily with his pension i could cope working school hours only. As soon as the kids were in high school and i felt i could let them come home from school to an empty house i went back to full time work, now they are grown with careers of there own, i work full time and am looking for another job in the evenings/weekends, partly to earn more money, but also so im not stuck in the house on my own all the time. My kids saw me working and both of them have worked from a young age. in fact my son worked a 35 hr week in a restaurant while he was still in school at 15 (on top of his school work before anyone asks if he skipped school), and my daughter has always said she would return to work soon after if and when she has kids.

I was mainly a stay at home mum. I didn’t have family to help with childcare and husband worked away much of the time. I tried doing supply teaching but couldn’t cope with being called in at short notice and having to arrange childcare. Also the stress of going to unknown schools and unhelpful staff. I now think I was suffering from depression at the time but didn’t realise.
I did volunteering in church and for charity and took on some cleaning jobs.
Now I am mainly dependent on my husband’s pension and although I am unhappy I can’t see any way out.

Oh, and around twenty years ago, my husband was made redundant. If it were not for my earnings we would have gone under.

I was very lucky as I was able to work from home as a private music teacher. As the children grew older, l was able to take on more pupils and do some peripatetic teaching in schools. I was still around for them but earning money too. I could never have been “just a housewife” as I do not find fulfilment in this way, although I take my hat off to those who do. Indeed, I have had a cleaning lady one day a week for years. She is a Godsend. She says she enjoys housework and l don’t particularly.