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It’s my birthday but it is tinged with sadness

(40 Posts)
Shinamae Wed 09-Feb-22 10:33:40

I have had a lovely birthday week but it is my actual birthday today. I met my daughter in Frome in Somerset she travelled down from London and we had a lovely couple of days together. Went out with family last night for a lovely meal and I’m just about to get ready to go for lunch with some friends. I am very aware today that I have lived 20 years longer than my brother who died at the age of 49 with cancer. He was a very very good man and I was the black sheep of the family(alcoholic) and since his death have always thought I am living on borrowed time and really how unfair life is that he was taken so young. It’s at times like this I do wish I had a faith but I haven’t…

Sparklefizz Wed 09-Feb-22 10:44:42

Shinamae Many happy returns. I understand what it's like to have bittersweet anniversaries. I hope you have a lovely lunch with your friends. flowers cupcake

If you're in Frome, you're not too far away from me.... I'm the other side of Bath.

nanna8 Wed 09-Feb-22 10:47:05

Have a good day. Christmas and birthdays are always times of remembrance for those no longer with us. GoOd to remember them.

BlueSky Wed 09-Feb-22 10:48:07

Shinamae as I don’t have a faith, I’ve come to the conclusion that things happen randomly, there is no hidden meaning. Life has taught me that. So let’s appreciate and try to enjoy every day, for ourselves but also for those who haven’t been so lucky. Happy birthday! flowers

Anniebach Wed 09-Feb-22 10:49:27

May i wish you a happy birthday x

Life is unfair, I do have faith but it doesn’t take grief away. My grandson is now nearly the same age as my husband was when he died. It reminds me of how young my husband was.

My darling daughter died aged 49, I so understand how you feel. You didn’t cause your brother’s death .

You had a lovely time with your daughter, hold onto that x

kittylester Wed 09-Feb-22 10:49:39

Many happy returns shinamae.

I can understand your feelings but try not to dwell on them.

Smileless2012 Wed 09-Feb-22 10:50:07

'Happy Birthday' Shinamae flowers wine cupcake.

It's hard when anniversaries are tinged with sadness. Life can be hard and unfair at times so make the most of what you have in life to be glad about.

FannyCornforth Wed 09-Feb-22 10:50:08

Shinamae Happy Birthday! 💐
Through a couple of pms I know that we’ve already got a couple things in common.
And similarly to you, it was my 50th birthday last month.
In three months time I will be exactly as old, or rather as young, as my wonderful mom was when she died.
I really know how you are feeling.
Lots of love to you, and enjoy your special day. You deserve it x

Purplepixie Wed 09-Feb-22 10:53:14

Happy birthday. Try and enjoy life now and embrace the future and not dwell on the past. Have a lovely time.

Nightsky2 Wed 09-Feb-22 11:06:36

Shinamae. Happy birthday.🥂🎂💐

I lost my father when he was 49
I lost my best friend when she was 49
We lost our sons godfather when he was 49

I’m glad you had such a nice time with your daughter in Frome which I know well. Have a lovely day and enjoy the rest of your life which sometimes just doesn’t seem fair.

Kate1949 Wed 09-Feb-22 11:09:51

Many happy returns. I hope you can enjoy your day. It can be very difficult. Like many on GN, I have lost some close family members at a young age - 16, 24, 49 year olds.

AGAA4 Wed 09-Feb-22 11:18:03

Birthdays do bring memories of others who have gone. My DH died aged 51 and I have had many birthdays since and always feel regret that he missed so much. He never got to see his grandchildren.

I hope you enjoy your birthday even though you have a little pocket of sadness 💐

Redhead56 Wed 09-Feb-22 11:20:18

Sadness affects everyone at some point in life. Unfortunately its something we can neither control or escape from as life is unpredictable. On occasions such as birthdays we do think of the past and loved ones no longer with us. You loved your brother and miss him but you will treasure your memories of him forever.
You enjoyed your birthday celebrations with loved ones. You are thankful for that and appreciate what you have now so embrace it and enjoy your day.💐

crazyH Wed 09-Feb-22 11:22:22

Happy Birthday Shinamae flowers

larry5 Wed 09-Feb-22 11:25:59

Happy birthday Shinamae. I have a birthday later this month but these days I do find February a bit depressing as my dm's birthday was the 14th and my dads was the 21st and although they had long lives the memories of their birthdays are tinged with sadness.

I also live near Frome (Midsomer Norton) and I was so pleased to move here 15 years ago from the SE

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 09-Feb-22 11:35:16

Have a nice birthday Shinamae, a lovely lunch and try to remember the good times. It’s my birthday too, nice to share.💐

hulahoop Wed 09-Feb-22 11:53:20

Happy birthday to Germansheperdsmum *and *Shinamae .💐 im not posting a lot at the moment but do read so sorry if I have missed previous birthdays x

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 09-Feb-22 12:00:42

Happy birthday to Shinmae and Germanshepherdsmum
I hope you both have a good day. I think as you lose loved ones birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are usually a time of reflection.

Kate1949 Wed 09-Feb-22 12:16:51

Happy birthday Germanshepherdsmum

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 09-Feb-22 12:17:38

Thank you everyone!

sodapop Wed 09-Feb-22 12:20:33

Happy Birthday Shinmae sorry its tinged with sadness too. Make the most of your life now as your brother I'm sure would have wanted. thanks

Annapops Wed 09-Feb-22 12:21:48

Happy birthday Shinmae. I fully understand how you are feeling. It's my birthday today too, a birthday I shared with my little sister. I always remember coming home from school on my 7th birthday and there she was. We lost her when she was 13 years old. Today she would have been 60. I will always love, treasure and live on for her. Sending youthanks.

Grannmarie Wed 09-Feb-22 12:38:22

Many happy returns, Shinamae, GSM and Annapops flowersflowersflowers.
Such bittersweet memories, but it is important to live the best life we can in order to honour our departed loved ones. We don't know what's in front of us, so it's good to be thankful for what we have. My dear Mum always told us to count our blessings.

It was my dear brother's 53rd anniversary recently, he died aged 12, I was 13. I lost my brother and my pal, I'd never known him not being there. He could have been a father and grandfather by now, I think of him every day. My faith helps me to believe that we will all be reunited one day, that's a comfort.

Annapops, what a close bond with your wee sister, your 7th birthday present 💕.
DS3 was born on DS2's 3rd birthday, they celebrated their 18th and 21st together.

Thinking of all with sorrow and sadness.

FannyCornforth Wed 09-Feb-22 12:44:03

Happy Birthday Shep and Anna! 🥳

lavendermine Wed 09-Feb-22 12:50:54

Happy Birthday to both Birthday girls flowers