Please tell me I am not being selfish!

A friend wouldn’t be asking this.
Is she being financially abused by her daughter? Something doesn’t sound right.

The lawyers are laughing all the way to the bank. Don't do it.

The fact that every poster is in agreement that you absolutely should not take on responsibility for your friend, speaks volumes. It's a rare thread where everyone has the same view.

I would also ask your friend if she has considered her position should you predecease her. She won't be able to stay on in your home and she will be considerably (hopefully - not wishing to shorten your life ) older by then. Where will she live then?

I can only add my voice to everyone else's and say don't even consider this proposition.

Don't even consider it!

You are being guilt-tripped - stick to your guns xx

Absolutely NOT... let her daughter show some gratitude and take responsibility for fleecing her dry..

Please don’t do it ....

Nor selfish.

Absolutely not. You are not being unreasonable at all.

Absolutely not selfish! The friend putting pressure on you should be told if she’s so concerned, SHE should allow your mutual to live with her!

Absolutely ridiculous that people want to push you into doing what they won’t do themselves!

Your not being selfish at all. It was your friends choice to finance her daughters divorce. You are not responsible for your friends family decisions. It sounds like your friend is very good at emotional blackmail and I would steer very clear of her if I were you.

A big fat NO from me too.

If the daughter were paying the legal fees the divorce would have been settled years ago. My divorce was unspeakably difficult but when you're paying your own bills it focuses the mind (I didn't get mates' rates btw). I pity the husband. Perhaps he qualifies for Legal Aid on the grounds of domestic abuse. The daughter must be telling some very large porkies to your friend about the reason why the matter is so ridiculously protracted. If the divorce ends with the matrimonial home having to be sold and there is little equity in it, then if you take your friend in you will very probably be taking the daughter in as well. For heaven's sake say no. No friendship is worth ruining the rest of your life for.

I agree with luluaugust. There could be all kinds of ramifications down the road and things could get very complicated.

If for no other reason don't do it because of potential future legal problems, she will gain some rights if she pays rent to you and could you afford to just keep her - no.

It sounds like your friend isn't thinking straight at all. She's about to make herself homeless and dependent on friends for a roof over her head. That is the type of scenario most people dread happening to them in old age.
Her daughter is an absolute disgrace to be encouraging this for her own benefit.

Definitely NO NO NO in big capital letters, as I used to say to my DCs and pupils at school. DO NOT DO THIS.

I had a friend who asked to move in with me when her landlord was selling up. We were good, long term friends but I did not want a lodger. She knew I liked living on my own. I said no and she cut me off. I don't think it is selfish, it is having boundaries. No-one has an obligation to house a friend. I would only consider it if they were homeless, which my friend wasn't.

You are most definitely not selfish at all. Your friend should not impose the consequences of helping her daughter on you... Her daughter is the one person in your friend's life who should be grateful to her mother who is going to give up so much for her and open her home for her mother...

25 years ago Legal Aid was far more widely available than it is now.

Welbeck I got legal aid for divorce involving domestic abuse. I wasn’t sure who was entitled to claim it now divorce laws etc.

www.gov.uk/report-abuse-of-older-person

In my view, your friend's daughter is financially abusing her.

You have to say no.

You are absolutely not being selfish - that is truly an ask too far.

TBH it amazes me that anyone would ever ask such a thing, for such a reason.

Why not suggest to the other friend who’s putting pressure on you, that she might like to house the other long term instead?

Without wanting to sound morbid what would happen if you died before your friend and your next of kin wanted to sell the house. Would the selfish daughter start kicking up and claiming her mother had some kind of squatters rights? Would the interfering friend be on to your family pressurising them to let your other friend have a lifetime right to stay in the house? Would the daughter decide to move in as well? She sounds like a total grabber and I wouldn't be getting involved in any arrangement like this.