Lack of awareness or arrogance.

I also get impatient with people chatting too long, but after reading 'Mamma66' I will try and do what she does....I think that's heart-warming.....

I don’t know why but I’m always really patient in these situations, but my husband really gets his hair off to the point of almost being rude.

I try to be understanding but agree it can be frustrating. I get really annoyed with people who try to monopolise all the available staff in a shop, raising a query with one then dragging another staff member into it then, when a third assistant comes onto the floor including her in the query as well. Completely uncaring that there is a queue of people waiting to be served.

this annoys me too. another thing is when shopping, I have my purse ready at the checkout and shopping bag ready to load while others have to hunt for their purse at the bottom of the bag......I am seldom in a hurry but it does annoy me.

A bit thoughtless but sometimes the people she was talking to may have been the first human contact for days!
Flippin annoying if she was just chatting to her friends though! One of the reasons that my GP surgery doesn't really employ anyone that lives in my village!
I think I would have started do some very heavy and audible sighs at some point, especially when it got to being in the pharmacy queue or even butting in and saying excuse me!

I am surprised the receptionist didn't ask her to step aside as there were people waiting.

Rude selfish and usually completely not aware of anything other than themselves! I've always trotted after my little devil too! These edits needs "reconditioning" at my boot camp!

#EEJITS! Tool please!

Hithere

I am surprised the receptionist didn't ask her to step aside as there were people waiting.

No they don't. The majority of people just want a quiet life and won't speak up even in the case of real emergency!

I have oodles of patience quite honestly. Queues don’t frustrate me in the least, especially now I’m retired. Mind you I’m very rarely in a hurry.
#lazygran

I never make salon appointments for a Saturday though. It’s good to be considerate of other people’s restricted time!

I've just encountered this at a pharmacy in a very busy supermarket, where few masks were being worn. I can tell you when the person in front of me last went to the doctor's and why, also how her family are keeping and her mothers back. The joke was after about 10 minutes chit chat she said "Must dash I'm in a hurry". The assistant just mouthed to me" Sorry".
I have found a way to stop this but not practical with Covid. Moving close like a child would and staring at the nattering person rather than straight ahead. They turn and look at you eventually but you just keep looking. They soon shut up although DH said I looked retarded the last time I did it.

The lack of tolerance here is amazing. My mother started to "fiddle with change" when her dementia started to rear its ugly head. She became completely unaware of what was happening around her. Outwardly she looked like a normal person who didn't really look that old but that is exactly why there has had to be a campaign for invisible illnesses. I'm not saying I am without irritation but I give myself a good talking to unless it is an emergency and then I ask nicely if I can be served.

lemsip

this annoys me too. another thing is when shopping, I have my purse ready at the checkout and shopping bag ready to load while others have to hunt for their purse at the bottom of the bag......I am seldom in a hurry but it does annoy me.

Not so bad now a lot of people have bus ticket apps on their phones, but it used to aggravate me when they waited until they'd got on the bus then started rummaging for their purses!

I've worked in retail since leaving school and you do get frustrated with folk who you know are just out for a browse and a chat with anyone. You can't be rude, but can be subtle to get them to move along so you can serve legitimate customers.

Are people like this unaware or just arrogant?

Mostly unaware I think - and self-absorbed.

They often also completely lack self-awareness, having no idea of how they 'come across' to others.

I don't know what causes it - lack of education (in the wider sense); little self-confidence... no idea.

I think it's a form of mental illness possibly - a personality disorder.

We make excuses when inconvenienced or frustrated by their behaviour so as not to further frustrate ourselves, and to be 'kind'; telling ourselves that they probably don't get out much or are lonely. But the reality is that they probably do get out quite a bit, but are lonely... because people avoid them like the plague and they can't form close relationships.

It's not only frustrating if you have a busy life, even if you don't, it's tediously boring having to listen to someone drone on about themselves and discovering that if you attempt to bring the monologue to a halt with some observation of your own - they simply don't acknowledge what you've said and just patiently wait for you to stop talking before carrying on where they left off.

Maybe the most practical thing would be to sit them down and tell them the truth... "you're lonely because you are completely self-centred and self-absorbed, and you bore the pants off people". But I wouldn't dare to do that, and I don't think many people would either. So they'll go through life blithely unaware of the irritation they cause.

A lot of people have been in shielding for over two years now. I leave the house about once a fortnight for a visit to the chemist or a shop. Now you want me to be 20 seconds in the doing of it?

What a coincidence. A friend and I went to a meeting yesterday held by a local charity so see if a social group was welcomed or needed. The meeting was totally wrecked by a self absorbent woman who talked about herself loudly and endlessly. Some people left early and we never did find out what the charity's plans actually were!

I used to be head of a department and having to get shopping in the lunch time, yet also setting an example by not being late back to work. Now I am retired I avoid shopping at that time and on saturdays too. Do go on the local open air market which is a different thing . There I feel I am helping local small business to survive, can buy small special items that you would not get in a supermarket. As I have a bad back and often do not sleep well on the contary I can visit the supermarket at about 6 am. It suits me, quiet time to shop so in and out and job done early, especially holiday time when I will be home before the rush of shoppers. I am suiting myself but also being fair to other shoppers. I have on occasions , when the person is spending such a long time at the checkout, asked quite politely if they intend to be long as my back is painful and I am unable to stand long. I will therefore have to leave the shopping as cannot wait any longer. Usually works, as it is totally true, the staff do not want to have to replace the goods but cannot say well put it all back first and the person talking cannot say anything much and will usually get on with paying

When you manage a public service point you want to keep the line moving so there are techniques for doing so. I used to manage a busy library where you would sometimes get a chatty or clingy reader holding up the line. Often they were just chatting about a book they had read, rather than enquiring about something important or some aspect of the service. It was always at a busy period with people queueing.

I used to cut in an say "Im sorry but there are people waiting. Have you finished? Next please!" In a very brisk tone of voice. And call the next person forward. The person holding up the queue would sometimes look upset or annoyed. One once told me I was very abrupt.

I told her that I was sorry she was upset but I could see people getting angry at being kept waiting. So perhaps she could visit the library at a ltime when staff were not so busy.

icanhandthemback

The lack of tolerance here is amazing. My mother started to "fiddle with change" when her dementia started to rear its ugly head. She became completely unaware of what was happening around her. Outwardly she looked like a normal person who didn't really look that old but that is exactly why there has had to be a campaign for invisible illnesses. I'm not saying I am without irritation but I give myself a good talking to unless it is an emergency and then I ask nicely if I can be served.

I've had elderly - and not so elderly - people in front of me "fiddle with their change" and I have all the patience in the world for that because there are many reasons why people might not be quite 'with it' at the checkout (or wherever). Apart from dementia, they might have things on their mind and aren't 'collected' enough to focus on the immediate, or they might be ill, or busy and just not thinking properly.

But that's a world apart from those individuals who insist on chatting to all and sundry - anyone who'll listen - about themselves or inconsequential things at the head of a busy queue.

How many commenters here have cut off from older relatives? Who hardly bother with elders? Who spend little time supporting elderly neighbours and wider family? That is someone else's abandoned who you are irritated by. Perhaps it isn't them and their loneliness that is the issue here.

It’s the other way round for me. Each day when I go to buy my newspaper in our local shop, the chap behind the counter ( a very nice young man incidentally) wants to engage me in conversation about his friend who now lives in Ukraine and has just signed up to fight in the war. I’d love to chat as I’m interested to hear about his friend but I’m very aware of the queue behind me waiting to be served so I have to cut him short.

OP here Thanks for your comments, I’m glad to not be alone in my frustration.
However I should have pointed out the woman was about 50 and I was waiting in the cold whilst this was going on, it was only as she was making her painfully slow departure and holding the door open she said she would be needing to downsize by the time the extension was finished.
I’m thinking she spends hours chatting to the poor builders.

lizzypopbottle

I just read this morning that the French supermarket, Carrefour, have introduced 'blablabla' tills so lonely people can have a chat with the till operator and others who choose that till. I use the self checkout in supermarkets. I know it probably does someone out of a job but life's too short to wait behind someone telling their life story.

What a brilliant idea!

Mummer
How is it a quiet life if you are living with resentment of something that happened?

Quiet life has a different meaning to me - respectful and try to avoid conflict as much as possible, not hiding from it