Lack of awareness or arrogance.

Although I live alone I never keep the supermarket cashier chatting if there is a queue behind me. I also have my shopping bags and payment at the ready. I'm never in a hurry, these days, and don't mind being kept waiting by a chatty customer.
However, I do have a knack of choosing items which won't scan, or the lady on the till can't find the number for particular loose fruit or veg that I have chosen, and she has to call over to the next till, or ring for a supervisor. My last 'failure' was a pot plant which had no barcode. She had to get another staff member to dash across the store to bring another one.
It's very embarrassing when there is a long queue waiting, and I always apologise profusely, but it seems to happen to me far too often.

This happens all the time in our village shop, Post Office and Medical Centre as they are all considered to be social meeting places by the villagers. It took a little getting used to when we first moved here. But the patience and friendliness shown by the staff and villagers is heartwarming and definitely preferable to the impatient rudeness often encountered in London. DH sometimes gets irritated by the person in front chatting for too long, but it doesn't really bother me. I remind myself that (especially if they are elderly) they may not have had a conversation with anyone for days, or even weeks.

What does irritate me are shop assistants who continue their own conversations and deliberately ignore me waiting at the counter. It's just rude. If my loud cough and killer glare doesn't work I say very politely "Excuse me, is anybody serving here?" It usually works.

I think after two years of infrequent contact with people we may all need to relearn patience and tolerance again!

I have a neighbour like this and she used to hold up the unfortunate postman so that she could talk at him.I am lucky as she hates me so leaves me in peace mostly.

My sister is one such talker and gets angry if it's pointed out she is holding up a queue. Her answer is always that she has a right to talk to who she wants, it's arrogance.
She's a nightmare to shop with

Sago
How polite you were even explaining the second time she held you.
Sadly since being seriously ill in 2010 l no longer have an effective filter. Word’s don’t come out of my mouth with any subtlety and in your situation l wouldn’t have been like you. I thought she was an elderly lady that you were talking about at first but on reading your second post l would have opened the door and quoted the current weather report and asked if the doctor’s surgery had moved.

Dickens

icanhandthemback

The lack of tolerance here is amazing. My mother started to "fiddle with change" when her dementia started to rear its ugly head. She became completely unaware of what was happening around her. Outwardly she looked like a normal person who didn't really look that old but that is exactly why there has had to be a campaign for invisible illnesses. I'm not saying I am without irritation but I give myself a good talking to unless it is an emergency and then I ask nicely if I can be served.

I've had elderly - and not so elderly - people in front of me "fiddle with their change" and I have all the patience in the world for that because there are many reasons why people might not be quite 'with it' at the checkout (or wherever). Apart from dementia, they might have things on their mind and aren't 'collected' enough to focus on the immediate, or they might be ill, or busy and just not thinking properly.

But that's a world apart from those individuals who insist on chatting to all and sundry - anyone who'll listen - about themselves or inconsequential things at the head of a busy queue.

It is indeed!. I’m sure that most people are tolerant of the man or woman in front of then who are elderly - or whatever - and who are clearly having some problems.

It’s the people who are oblivious to the people behind them queueing and having a chat about what they watched on the telly the night before that we have a problem with, particularly when one is in a hurry. I think all of us can remember a time when we got to the top of the queue only to remember that we’d forgotten the jar of marmite or honey and have had to hold up the person behind for a minute or two whilst someone went to fetch it for us. That has happened to me a few times and I always apologise and have felt embarrassed by it. That is entirely different to the person who chats away completely indifferent to the person who is waiting behind them and who just wants to get her shopping done and get home.

Dickens

icanhandthemback

The lack of tolerance here is amazing. My mother started to "fiddle with change" when her dementia started to rear its ugly head. She became completely unaware of what was happening around her. Outwardly she looked like a normal person who didn't really look that old but that is exactly why there has had to be a campaign for invisible illnesses. I'm not saying I am without irritation but I give myself a good talking to unless it is an emergency and then I ask nicely if I can be served.

I've had elderly - and not so elderly - people in front of me "fiddle with their change" and I have all the patience in the world for that because there are many reasons why people might not be quite 'with it' at the checkout (or wherever). Apart from dementia, they might have things on their mind and aren't 'collected' enough to focus on the immediate, or they might be ill, or busy and just not thinking properly.

But that's a world apart from those individuals who insist on chatting to all and sundry - anyone who'll listen - about themselves or inconsequential things at the head of a busy queue.

I agree with you Dickens,You can tell the elderly or slightly distressed people who hold things up they usually smile at you and say sorry or something similar. The woman in front of me was at least 20 years younger than me and when she said must Dash I nearly laughed.
None of us have seen many people and I find if I am feeling lonely I go and do a bit of gardening near the front gate. People walking past or walking their dogs usually stop and have a quick natter. I was phoned the other day because I hadn't been seen for a while.
When I worked we had people who always had plenty to say and would try to hog a full meeting. the last head we had was very deft and always asked the people who rarely said anything to speak first and left the vociferous ones till last when it was nearly time to tie up.

I lost a bloods appointment because of this. I was 5 minutes early, but due to Covid rules couldn't just walk in. There was an elderly gentleman in front of me, and a 50ush chatter in front of him. By the time I got to the desk, they said I was 10 minutes late, so it had been deleted...I explained I was early, but because of the chatter I couldn't register. I was told I should be early, I was, so said OK, I have to be 15 minutes early in case there is a chatterer? No because you're only allowed in 5 minutes prior to appts!!

I think the woman OP was describing simply is not aware that she is monopolising conversations and taking up people's time with things that are of no importance to them.

Those who live alone tend to talk far too long to anyone who can be expected to listen.

In my opinion, the receptionist should, when she noticed OP waiting, have said to the woman engrossing her attention, "I am sorry, but there is another patient wating for my attention, so I shall have to ask you to leave now."

This behaviour has nothing to do with a sense of entitlement, whatever that is, I have noticed all sorts of bad behaviour being ascribed to it these days.

Anyone who behaves inconsiderately, should be politely requested to show more consideration for others.

Well done OP for mentioning it to her.

Oh I have a cough that I do in circumstances like this, it usually works, if it doesn’t I speak up.

So glad you went with the devil

Goodness me a visit to the Doctors crikey your lucky.
We are still having to ring and get an appointment for him to speak to us and if it’s urgent enough we can go to the surgery.
I must say though my dh went to have a haircut and then went along to our doctors to see if they had the results on his X-ray.
Fortunately they did.

My ex used to do this. He thought he was being friendly. He would say, there's a nice wee girl, she will know about this product. Then instead of asking about his purchase he would compliment her, ask about her family,did she know so and so, did she enjoy working here etc. The same when he went to buy a car or expensive item. He would ask the man what about the football,did you see the match etc until we were all ready to scream.

With the friend I mentioned earlier it most certainly is arrogance. She thinks she is superior to everyone else. Awful attitude.

We're still friends but I never see her. Just a chat on messenger or whatever.

I'm one of the chatters - especially at the shop till.

However...
I start chatting when the cashier looks to me (as the next person up to the till). I chat all the while they're ringing everything up, as I pay (I have my card to hand already) and finish as I grab my bags saying a cheery "see you next time" and wend on my way.

I normally shop at all the same shops (including the PO) and have been for years so I know many of the cashiers (albeit slightly) so I'm not always chatting about my day/life but asking about theirs, asking after the children/grandchildren etc.

I'm always aware of others behind me and try to chat while not holding up the queue at the same time. Even if there's no queue, I try not to hang around chatting too long as I'm well aware the cashier might also have to 'face up', restock or tidy up - or even desperately trying to get off the till for their break!

While working on the tills years ago, I had several of the 'won't-shut-up' brigade. If they were fumbling for payment/loyalty card and I often ended up buzzing for another person to come out and open up a till to try and keep on top of the building queue.

I also learnt to say - sorry, I've got a queue and have to serve the next person now. Usually worked, except for those who were completely oblivious and just stepped to the side while continuing to talk to me...

I mentioned further up that I usually use the self checkout. If I do a bigger shop in Morrisons, I use the one with a conveyor belt. You load your stuff onto the belt and then go to the till to scan it. On the screen it asks if you are using your own bags. If so, (mind you there's not really much choice these days) it says, place your bags in the bagging area and touch 'done' when finished. Then you scan your items and place them straight in your bags, pay and away. But some people, doing a huge shop, leave their bags in the trolley, scan and place each item individually in the bagging area, pay and then place each item individually into the bags they left in the trolley. Why do they do that? It takes twice as long and I'm there waiting having unloaded my stuff onto the belt!

These days I prefer to use the Sainsbury's SmartShop app on my phone, scan, bag, pay and away.

Trying to choose a greetings card, especially in supermarkets. People will stand reading every card with their trolley blocking anyone else getting a look in.

Yes that’s what I’d like to know!

I wish I didn’t have to keep signing in every time on here! Even though I tap on keep me signed in. AAAARGH!

I think this is terrible. Oh dear, you have been inconvenience for a few minutes because someone needed human contact. A few minutes contact with someone may stop the person committing suicide. This is selfish beyond belief. Think before you post. Is this post helpful or is it pandering to my selfish needs I must not be inconvenienced at any cost. Do everything on line.

Of course there’s a whole variety of reasons why people are like this. I (as others have said) life in a village where there are lots of older people and get this sort of thing in the surgery, pharmacy, post office etc. Yep, sometimes it can be very irritating! BUT it is possible to interrupt in a pleasant way, rather than an aggressive irritated way( which would leave me feeling stressed/upset anyway). I don’t find it too difficult to say eg “ sorry to interrupt.......but could I just hand this to the receptionist (smile!). Thanks so much!!” Also, it is the receptionist’s job to manage these situations better but I know that can be difficult. And something that must be happening repeatedly through a working day. Maybe ( like supermarkets) there needs to be a ‘fast lane/no chatting’ ?! One thing I have learned as I’ve got older (having been a fairly angry young woman), is that lots of potentially stressful situations can literally be disarmed by being disarming. If you know what I mean. Smiling meaningfully at people really seems to work. And a few friendly kind words too.

My pet peeve is very elderly couples doing their supermarket shopping at what is clearly a busy time e.g. Saturday or lunchtime midweek
They shop together and leave the trolley across the aisles thus blocking it. They stand in front of shelves for ages pondering what to buy

How very dare they?
Don’t they know that in Pink Cosmos land they should huddle indoors under their granny shawls and leave the shops to young people? And never hesitate before buying something - unless of course you are working out whether this week’s pension will stand it.
Never mind isolation or loneliness or perhaps chatting to the receptionist or shop assistant is the only person somebody has spoken to all day.
Know your place, old/lonely/sad/depressed people!

Grandyma

Trying to choose a greetings card, especially in supermarkets. People will stand reading every card with their trolley blocking anyone else getting a look in.

Yes. I do find it odd that people are unaware of this sort of behaviour. I will stand back to let someone pass in an aisle only to have them stop right in front of me to look at the very thing I was looking at!!! I mostly just take a deep breath. I think it’s a total lack of awareness or lost in thought perhaps? Depending on my assessment of the person, I’ll either wait or say “Excuse me etc”. People are often embarrassed and apologetic because they genuinely seem to have not realised. Some of us are far more spatially aware than others too, I think. With the greeting card situation I do usually just say eg excuse me and it’s never a problem. It usually leads to a mini chat anyway ?

ComeonEileen

^My pet peeve is very elderly couples doing their supermarket shopping at what is clearly a busy time e.g. Saturday or lunchtime midweek^
They shop together and leave the trolley across the aisles thus blocking it. They stand in front of shelves for ages pondering what to buy

How very dare they?
Don’t they know that in Pink Cosmos land they should huddle indoors under their granny shawls and leave the shops to young people? And never hesitate before buying something - unless of course you are working out whether this week’s pension will stand it.
Never mind isolation or loneliness or perhaps chatting to the receptionist or shop assistant is the only person somebody has spoken to all day.
Know your place, old/lonely/sad/depressed people!

?

Maytime2, sorry that you have sometimes been held up on a narrow path.
Until last year I was reasonably fit and healthy. Then I received a bad health diagnosis. Now I use a walking stick and hold onto my husband's arm for safety when out and about. Which isn't often. Where we live the pavements are very uneven, narrow in lots of places, but if I fell and broke something, it could be devastating.
If someone is approaching us , we stand aside, but can not always be aware of someone coming up from behind.

ourjude

I'm one of the chatters - especially at the shop till.

However...
I start chatting when the cashier looks to me (as the next person up to the till). I chat all the while they're ringing everything up, as I pay (I have my card to hand already) and finish as I grab my bags saying a cheery "see you next time" and wend on my way.

I normally shop at all the same shops (including the PO) and have been for years so I know many of the cashiers (albeit slightly) so I'm not always chatting about my day/life but asking about theirs, asking after the children/grandchildren etc.

I'm always aware of others behind me and try to chat while not holding up the queue at the same time. Even if there's no queue, I try not to hang around chatting too long as I'm well aware the cashier might also have to 'face up', restock or tidy up - or even desperately trying to get off the till for their break!

While working on the tills years ago, I had several of the 'won't-shut-up' brigade. If they were fumbling for payment/loyalty card and I often ended up buzzing for another person to come out and open up a till to try and keep on top of the building queue.

I also learnt to say - sorry, I've got a queue and have to serve the next person now. Usually worked, except for those who were completely oblivious and just stepped to the side while continuing to talk to me...

Thanks for all this good sense!