Asking someone how they are

I guess it goes back to the days (some time ago of course) when if you were introduced to someone new you'd reply "how do you do". And they'd reply "how do you do". Not asking after their health, just politeness.

I met an old work colleague yesterday....I said "how you doing" her reply was "great how are you"...Short and sweet as we were both doing our shopping....xxx

My aunt used to phone my poor mum and tell her all her woes and never ever asked my mum how she was, the phone call usually went on for over an hour. If I was there I used to sneak out and ring the doorbell, so my mum could say she had to go as someone was at the door. I've dodged behind hedges when I'm out with the dog to hide from people like this if I'm in a hurry to get home.

G'day, how ya going? Good. Good. That's enough.

One of my AC does that- which is fine- if its only her having a little rant about her life, her stuff, because im her mum- but she then goes on to tell me all about her friends woes & happenings too- which is very time consuming, and draining, besides which i cant really help with- so much so that her siblings have all started to avoid ringing or answering her for same reason! So I'm her only 'vent' now i guess! I haven't the heart to tell her though.?

Chewbacca

"How do?"
"Fine. You?"

Job done. I really don't want you to give me chapter and verse of you latest colonoscopy, infected ingrowing toe nail or emotional turmoil unless I'm really good friends with you. People who repeatedly thrust their ailments, worries and woes down the throats of anyone other than a very close friend is a self obsessed bore.

Totally agree. Your problems are yours. The trouble is a lot of people are lonely and genuinely worried about themselves.

Callistemon21

? possibly not

I should have just said "Aw reet me duck?"

Ooh Callistemon21 you must be from my neck of the woods (Mansfield). ?

I sometimes wonder if people who talk a lot about themselves have no one to listen and no close friends, so take the opportunity when it arises to offload on to some kind listener. I once paid a lovely lady £30 per hour to listen to me. How sad is that. ?

fairfraise

Big Louis that's interesting. I occasionally chat to people on WordswithFriends and if in USA they always start with "Hi". But what exactly does "lol" stand for.

Lol stands for ‘laugh out loud’ ?

Esmay I hope your dad will be ok. Poor thing. I do mean that sincerely. Sounds tough. ? Perhaps there is a regular 'get it off your chest' thread on Gransnet?

I think that this happens more often these days due to the lockdowns and people feeling isolated, so they haven't been able to talk to people as they normally would have.
I have found myself guilty of having a moan to people that have asked how I am purely because I haven't been able to speak to anyone for a couple of days!
Just a response to say that you have heard what they have said may be enough - they probably don't actually want an answer to their problems anyway, so maybe just a "sorry to hear that and I hope things get better soon " may well be all they need. Then finish off with "it's been nice to see you anyway" before you walk away!

What infuriates me is the person who goes into great detail about people you don't know and are not interested in . Never asks how I or my family are. Maddening .

I agree with the person who said don't ask how she is. Fatal.

Lathyrus it's the same in my part of the world. It took me a while to realise it was just part of the local dialect. People really didn't care whether you were alright or not and certainly didn't want to know! After a while, I adopted the native greeting myself.

Serial yackers are very annoying.

I'm horribly guilty of going into too much detail :

I'm going to try and say ,fine thanks .

It's just that they ask about my father ,who is not fine .

Now in hospital for the second time this year having been home for a few days -he's completely out if it .

Either he's asleep or being insulting or saying that he's been kidnapped as part of a government conspiracy and rambling on until he drifts off again ...

I don't think people always think about the words they are using when greeting. A radio DJ (Scott Mills) I used to listen to ended his telephone conversations with listeners with 'see you later', which of course was untrue!'

We used to have a friend (no longer with us) admittedly with serious health problems, who would give anyone who asked - even if he barely knew them - the most intimate details - at length - of his complaints.

A dd was once with him on one such occasion in his village - she said it was so embarrassing, she just didn’t know where to look!

I just answer ‘could be better, could be worse!’ and see where that takes the conversation ?

Big Louis that's interesting. I occasionally chat to people on WordswithFriends and if in USA they always start with "Hi". But what exactly does "lol" stand for.

Perhaps we should just stick to the American "Hi" as it does not require an answer, only the same in return.

I'm another one who always assures the GP that I'm fine!

Deedaa I saw my GP recently and he asked, "How are you?"
To which I replied, "I'm not very well really, that's why I'm here."
He laughed! We both laughed ?

"How do?"
"Fine. You?"

Job done. I really don't want you to give me chapter and verse of you latest colonoscopy, infected ingrowing toe nail or emotional turmoil unless I'm really good friends with you. People who repeatedly thrust their ailments, worries and woes down the throats of anyone other than a very close friend is a self obsessed bore.

I share my worries etc with my good friends as they do with me. If I meet someone by chance and asked how I am doing I have a short reply. "I'm ok just getting on with life" I think it's short and sweet and no further explanations are required.

I was brought up to say I'm fine even when I wasn't

I live in Bristol now and it's mostly 'Alright?" and often just ''right?"!

I usually only ask people how they are if I know they have had problems and I actually want to know. I'm another one who always assures the GP that I'm fine!