Apartment living etiquette

DS lived in a flat for a few years. The tenant upstairs clearly had hard floors as you could hear him moving around. What was more disconcerting was the waterfall noise that could be heard in DS's sitting room, presumably when said tenant went to the loo (and I don't mean the flush!).

Slippers should be worn as soon as anyone steps in the door.

Warn your neighbours if you are going to do any DIY.

We lived 13 floors up, a very long time ago, with 2 babies it often meant that I was stuck indoors, so a good Management Company would be at the top of my list. I couldn’t manage the stairs even without babies, now I’m much much older.

I lived in a flat when I had my first baby. She wasn't good at sleeping so I used to get up and let her play as I didn't want to keep neighbours awake all night with her crying. I now live in a ground floor maisonette and the only thing that irritates is people shutting doors loudly. However, the bonuses outweigh minor irritations and people have to live their lives.

We had one father who used to prop the main door open with the fire extinguisher so his daughter could come in and out when she was playing. It was a security risk for everyone else. It also gave access to gangs of kids who started coming in and running up and down the stairs and making a racket.

We did complain to the management company after that and he stopped doing it.

Bin wars - who will put the bins out or take them in.
Flooding - people above you letting the bath overflow.
Parking - someone always parks in your place.
Alarms - someone comes home drunk, puts some toast on..!
Litter - dropping rubbish and fag ends from upstairs windows into your garden.
Noise - All the time. All sorts of it.

I don't have the temperament for flats. I live in a detached bungalow now.....love having my own domain and ohhhh the peace.

My mum lived in a flat for the majority of her life and the 2 main issues she had were noise and teenagers. Various havoc caused by them, nothing serious, but annoying for a single lady.

I certainly think that the ‘No hard floors upstairs’ rule should be enforced. Afraid to say I can’t see it happening, though.

We have an upper maisonette, one of just two, where the former owner actually had ceramic tiles on the stairs ? and landing, as well as in the large kitchen.

I’m sure the neighbours downstairs were very glad when we installed carpet everywhere except the k and b, where we put a cushionfloor type of vinyl.

We had balconies in the apartment where we used to live with decking type flooring. The guy about used to push his used fags through the wooden slats so they all dropped onto our balcony. The man on the adjoining balcony always seemed to be out smoking when we were trying to enjoy a bit of sun.

These issues are stopping us from moving to a retirement apartment. I was perhaps naively thinking that, as all the residents will be over 60, we won’t have a lot of the issues of ordinary apartment living?

We have few problems with neighbours and any that arise are dealt with by the management company. There are only 12 flats here and most are occupied by older people.
I find that when new people move in that is when problems crop up. One family thought the communal area was all theirs and filled it with their own things. It was reported as a fire hazard and no problem since.
It's not just flats that have neighbour troubles. I know people who live in detached houses who have ongoing problems.

BlueSky

These issues are stopping us from moving to a retirement apartment. I was perhaps naively thinking that, as all the residents will be over 60, we won’t have a lot of the issues of ordinary apartment living?

I think you're far less likely to have early morning or late night noise but who knows? You won't have kids running around either.

But I do notice, in my house, that as the next door neighbours are getting older the telly is getting louder and louder.

DD would never live anything other than top floor of flats after bad experiences of noise, primarily from wooden floors/ staircases from a family above her, Have to agree when we visited it was unbearable.
I believe in germany where most people live in flats it’s illegal to have a wooden floor on any level apart from ground floor. Makes perfect sense to me.

I lived on the top floor (3rd) of a block of flats for 5 years. My floor seemed to have good sound proofing and the other two people on my floor( one with a small child) were considerate and very pleasant.

I know people on lower floors had more upset with noise . I did have a wooden floor in my living room but always wore slippers and nobody ever complained.

It was annoying to come home sometimes and find a strange car in your allocated parking space . Everyone posted on the what’s app and they moved

Communal rubbish shed also not always as clean as it could have been because people were lazy about how they used it. Otherwise I enjoyed living there

I live in Germany and nearly all flats have sound proof flooring whether it’s wood or tiles . No prams or bikes allowed in the hallways .They are a fire hazard .

Only problem we ever had was neighbour with wooden floors soon resolved that as there was no permission for it My husband loves apartment living after 71 years on farm -Im amazed

We are very happy in our flat on the fourth floor of an eight floor block. Most of us are owners so we all like to look after the communal areas and respect each others privacy and are as considerate as possible. It's not a retirement block but it's one that people seem to move in to and just stay. There are a number of older people who have carers visiting. Younger people are beginning to move in but, luckily, seem to absorb the ethos of the place. We're currently organising a celebration for the Queen's jubilee and a tree planting for her green canopy campaign. Life can be very pleasant in a block of flats.

I'm very happy in my flat which is in an older building with high ceilings and good soundproofing. We all get on well, despite ages ranging from 4years old to 70+. The only issue I have is with the management company, whom I regularly update about problems.
Your plans for the jubilee sound great, Aveline. ?

I think we must be very lucky.
We live on the second floor of a block of nine flats, three to each floor.
We run our own Management Company, everyone pays the same fee each month and this is used for the good of the block. Occasional problems with parking but on the whole we all get on.
We are a mixed bunch in age but very respectful of each other.
I do know that not all flats work this way.

I used to live in a flat and the flat upstairs had a small dog who liked playing with ping pong balls. The clacky clacky sound as it pinged across the floor a hundred times a day could have been used as an instrument of torture. Never heard it bark though.

The poster who said NDN in detached houses can be a pain was correct but they are easier to avoid. You just dont open the door to them and they dont know you are in.

I lived in flats for many years (live in a small detached now) and have had some feafully noisy neighbours. Last one I had loved boom boom music and played it constantly. No earplugs can stop the inner ear vibration.

There are seasons for shooting grouse and pheasants. I often wish there was one for taking a pot shot at neighbours. If I won the euro lottery I would buy a house miles from anywhere and put n electric fence around it.

We’ve lived in a few flats, the first was a two storey block, newly weds moved in downstairs, DH used to comment on their stamina! Then the wife left and the chap would regularly get drunk and play Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf very loudly on repeat, just as regularly I’d go down and turn his electricity off.

Second flat, three storey we were in the middle, no baths after 10pm, chap regularly came in from night shift 1-2 a.m. wearing hobnail boots on ceramic floors and run a bath.

Third flat, fabulous, eight storey, we were on fifth, new build, once the front door was closed we couldn’t hear a thing.

Now we’re in a detached bungalow, quiet estate, big plots, with lovely neighbours.

"My friend is getting fed up of the same few people using the lobby to store bikes, prams and children's trikes. It's against the rules for a number of reasons and letters have issued which are obeyed for a couple of weeks and then it starts again."

Perhaps the OP's friend should have a little chat to the local fire officers.........they have a very dim view of people obstructing doorways and entrance lobbies.

I lived in a few flats, some ok others were grim. Im now in a terraced and prefer it. Personally, I would ban wooden floors in flats. Even in a mid terraced wooden floors are awful, and neighbours don't realise you can hear every word when they argue. Wooden floors allow noise to carry.

My Mum has a balcony as do all the flats in her block. There is a strict 'don't feed the birds' rule in her block to protect everyone's windows.