The life you could have had

Kate Atkinson’s novel Life after Life is a great book about this.

Ahh. Glance back but look forward. My Mum used to say never regret not having the experience you might have had as you will spoil the best of experiences you are having now. Sometimes to reflect is good. Learning not to regret decisions made and see the joy in where those choices took us even if on a rocky road makes us who we are today. Recently saw a pic of my first boyfriend though and his wife who could be a clone of myself !
Happy with my life but yes the mind wanders to I wonder if...

I have relationship regrets. I was engaged at 20 and broke it off a year later and then went on to have the career I wanted, girls holidays, etc. I got married when I was 30 years old to a man the same age as myself, but he was mentally abusive, had affairs, etc. I left him 12 years ago and have been on my own ever since as my trust went with him. I often think about what my life would of turned out if I hadn't been so selfish wanting more in my 20s rather than settling down with a nice guy.

I'm an Expert in wrong choices. Still wondering what my Life's Purpose was supposed to be.

I am happy and content with my life, and love my family dearly, but reflect upon some very poor choices made - with hindsight of course - and wonder occasionally what life might have been if I had walked the other path available. I would be a lot richer without doubt, and opportunities for my children would have been better, but we haven't fared too badly.

Regrets are a waste of time. We all made decisions in the past, right or wrong, and those decisions have determined who we are now. The past is gone, we can't change it so it is better to concentrate on the future

I'm divorced so I wonder how things would have been had I not married. However I have 2 fantastic kids and a wonderful DiL and grandson so the marriage resulted in good things which I wouldn't have if I hadn't married their dad! No regrets really and I'm happy with my life.

At the risk of sounding smug - I do not regret anything about my life - I have been very privileged so far. As Frank says, regrets I had a few but too few to mention

I have no regrets - there have been happy times and not so happy times, but they have all shaped who I am today. Had anything happened differently, I would be different.
Still much to work on to improve and achieve and I believe some of my best days are still in front of me, not all behind me.
Helps me get out of bed every morning - and make the bed ;)

On the journey through life you just walk the path you’ve taken — with no benefit of hindsight. Life is full of regrets and when you’re running out of years they seem more poignant .. now is the time to seize the moment and go for it before it’s too late .. but finding the energy is a challenge !

I wish I’d had the knowledge, much earlier in life, that ‘life is what you make it’. As a young woman, I wanted to be married and have a family, with no thought about having a fulfilling career. But I guess I’ve never been ambitious, and my life-choices have reflected that.

For the ‘there’s no such thing as age!’ brigade, there is, when age brings unexpected physical limitations like arthritis.

My only “what if “ is if I had stayed in Sydney instead of coming back to who I thought was “the love of my life”! He had moved on but failed to tell me!
However, had a very varied and fulfilling life to be honest !
HE NOW LIVES IN SYDNEY ! ?‍♀️

I typically we all make mistakes but we live with different things sometimes it is for the best.

Well said!

I do think back to when I was a child! And things I did, but can honestly say I don’t have any regrets at all, I’m very happy and content with my lot, happily married and got good family, look forward to waking up each day and glad to be here

I wish I had had more choices over employment. At my school the required careers were teaching, nursing or secretarial work, in that order. I only knew of one girl who chose to do something different, and I remember the teachers being very scornful and disapproving.
I wish I'd worked harder with my piano lessons as I can't play a note now and would like to.
Other than that, I'm very grateful for a wonderful DH of almost 50 years, my children and grandchildren, and the experience of living in a different country for many years.

Indeed Atqui

A couple of ill-judged decisions made as a teenager, changed my life completely from having the future I'd anticipated at that time. But in a different life I probably wouldn't have met my wonderful DH, with whom (so far!) I've had 40 happy years....

I have few regrets about decisions made in the past. So fortunate to be surrounded by loving and caring family members. When it came to choosing friends, well thats another story!

nadateturbe

karmalady

nadaturbe, luck does not come into it. My life has been down to my choices, starting from childhood. Too many people say `luck` in order to justify their own life choices

Oh but you have been lucky. Of course our choices matter. and we can't always blame others for bad choices, but sometimes things happen that are outside our control and our lives are altered for ever. I call that bad luck.

Luck, the hand you are dealt ….call it what you will ,it must affect one’s life. I have made a few unwise choices in my life , which are down to me, but I have not had the misfortune to be deserted by my mother or abused by my parents or husband as some people on here have. Emotional trauma such as losing a parent when young or indeed a child or partner ,surely colours our thinking and often leads to bad choices as adults , not to mention poor opportunities as young people.

Wonder, wonder, wish, lessons to learn and regrets

Yes, i think we all fall into that mindset on some things .... BUT in my case, the 1 thing I DO know is that I wad meant to go to my mum and dad ( adopted ) i couldn't have been loved anymore and 1 thing i will be forever thankful for.

Another major thing, I was meant to marry the toss pot ( .....and that is putting it mildly) I married in order for me to have the 2 most precious children ( AC ) I have, so yes, we have lots of wondering and regrets but some of those that were meant to be....

I met a lovely lawyer from Naples when I was about 20. I recently found a letter he had written expressing disappointment that I hadn't followed up the friendship. At the time I was too busy to even think about him but a life in Italy could have been nice.

Often 'luck' simply means you saw opportunities that other people didn't notice or acted fast when other people stopped to chat.

When DS's playgroup shut three weeks into term. The other mothers stood outside discussing what they would do. I cut the chat and headed immediately for the other two playgroups in the village and got the one spare space in one of them. Everyone told me how 'lucky' I was. I wasn't lucky I just thought and acted quickly.

I’d say that it’s nearing 100% luck or chance.
Starting with which time and place you are born in; then your genetic makeup; and then your parents situation.
And that’s just for starters!

Exactly nadateturbe