Have you been taken for a fool !

Several times by people that I thought were friends that basically only wanted me to make up the numbers at social events and then barely spoke to me all evening - didn't know anyone else there.
On hand babysitter/childcare when they returned to work after maternity leave while a place became available in a nursery (wasn't aware of the plan, and changed several things in my own place so I was able to care for their child longterm. They cut off all contact after.
Oh and the one that wanted me as a catering(unpaid ) assistant ! I was asked to help for one occasion and had to say no as it was my brother's 40th birthday on the same date - again, not asked again, contact cut off .
The 3 women concerned are all still friends so have to wonder if there was some plan!

Unfortnately I dont trust anyone, after becoming a victim of fraud last week.No money, no card, no trust in anyone.I expect it will get better, I want to trust people again.

Yes at work many times. once I was put on playground duty for 3 weeks when I moved to a new school, they were going to let me do it until I rumbled them. I had often to take two classes of children when another member called in sick when she tried for the 3rd time we rumbled that she was sleeping over with her boyfriend!!!
By a neighbour who volunteered me for two days of tea/coffee making at a village event when she only did 1 morning herself.
A lot by MIL who would tell me to stop my DH from drinking too much or getting up to mischief. He would blow at me and I realised what she was doing, I finally confronted her and said to do her own controlling.
I am very careful these days and extremely warry.

Mmm yes . A friend always asked for help when she was throwing a function , always happy to help with catering and making drinks etc but started to notice the hostess was busy socialising with all her chums while I was stuck in the kitchen and clearing up afterwards . After hearing a passive aggressive comment about how I always took over at her functions I stopped helping and when invited told her I didn't have time . Strangely I don't get invited anymore .
There's only so much foolery I'm prepared to tolerate !

hollysteers

I had a freak situation when my neighbour had recommended a roofer and a cowboy turned up out of the blue on that day and when I asked him if he was ? he confirmed it.
What a mess and the tinker got away with the cash.
The bona fide builder was bemused by my complaints.
One has to laugh sometimes.

We had similar-got a builder to do some work laying paving at the front of the house. It didn't last very well, and when we tried to contact them to complain, they'd used another firm's phone number on their letterhead!.

Whenever our landline rings, I just expect it to be a scammer. My mobile displays 'Potential Fraud' sometimes, which is helpful.

GagJo, your attitude is truly vocational. My attitude is the same. The reward is knowing you have done a job well and benefited your students with great lessons and help. Ideally, you (and I) deserve better recognition, but that's not what we do it for, is it? It's for the kids.

Yes, more than once and I was one.

Almost, this very day. First thing I received a WhatsApp message saying ‘Mum, can you save this number, I’ve upgraded my phone’ then a few brief messages if harmless chit chat. A few hours later ‘ Mum can you help me, I need to pay a bill and my phone hasn’t updated my accounts yet. I can pay you back on Tuesday. Can I send you the details.
After that I smelled a rat and tried to phone my daughter, just got white noise, followed by another message to hold on, phone still updating. I rang her husband and of course it was one of those phishing scams, but I could have lost over £600..
The thing is I’ve heard about this scam but at the time you do go blank and want to help your child. I just knew she wouldn’t just send a message but would ask me personally in the very unlikely event of wanting a loan.
I like to think I’m quite savvy but I almost fell for this.

janeainsworth

I think the OP means have you ever played the fool yourself, to make a fool of the person who is trying to fool you.

Yes. Just before Christmas I got a WhatsApp supposedly from DD saying she had a new phone (quite plausible)
Then there was some general how are things etc. again nothing dodgy.
Then a request for me to pay a bill for her (strange & unlikely)
When the sum in question turned out to ve £2K I knew it was a scam.
But I kept pretending I thought it was genuine, asking the messager to call me before I would make the payment.
This went on for a bit & finished up like this

Just like the one I’ve just posted.

I've found to be true, that trust issues I had started with me!

I had an extremely difficult life starting, in childhood. My childhood was messed up big-time! I grew searching for answers I didn't know I was looking for.

My late father was a violent man and I was surrounded by secrets and lies. My childhood looked very nice on the surface. Professional middle class like so many.

It was professional middle class. Truth is my life story is liked an historical novel over a few generations. Think Victoria Holte and Kathleen Cookson. Its called "Family Secrets-What you don't know can hurt You"

So because of all that I didn't know who I was etc. Sounds bonkers! Yup.

As the truth started to unveil as the years went on, I was crazy as none of it made sense.

I finally found my way through a long journey of recovery which include a 12-step program, therapy, family of origin work, CBT and bereavement counseling over the past 20 years

Throughout those years I have learnt why I had no trust in others, is because I had no trust in my own judgements.

I have learnt how to listen to my gut, what to do if I'm unsure, putting boundaries and so on in place.

In other words a different set of healthy tools today I was never given as a child.

Ofcourse people can be people. However how I deal today is different.

I don't put myself in situations I used too which set me up to be hurt and betrayed.

I have ways to deal with things I didn't used to have. I have found for me, that I have learnt how to make better life decisions and how to deal when things go wrong

Do I trust others? I trust myself which I didn't used too, leading to better life decisions so I don't get betrayed like I used to be.

I have learnt how to deal with life better and for that I am grateful, have peace of mind and real friendships today.

There are 5 of us in our crowd including me who we have strong relationships with each other.

I don't go for this word friendship. It's bandied around too much. We know many people on different levels. Real close friendships are few.

The rest are mates, acquaintances, work colleague's and so on

So sad isn’t it what a world we live in. Just remember there is good we just have to believe we’ll see it someone again.

I have never been done out of money, I am just too careful (suspicious) to fall for that. But 'friends' OMG!! I only have one friend now, I have known her for nearly 40 years...others have come and gone, they always let me down, in one way or another, and I can't be doing with it anymore.

I have just come out of a relationship lasting 3and a half years.
For all of that time I could do nothing right he always found fault about something
Never paid towards essentials just a bit for food
He had half a million in the bank I hear.
ENOUGH !!!!!.I prefer to be lonely .

Reading all these messages makes me feel a bit sad and lucky that I haven’t got similar horror stories.

GagaJo

Yes, often at work. I think because I'm not competitive and really only want to do my work well, to benefit my students, others underestimate me.

I can't be bothered with the 'Look at me!' and self aggrandisement. I'm the first one to moan about my short comings. I think all of that leads to others assuming I'm a bit crap.

The up side is that my students always do really well, which counteracts the otherwise low key effect I have. Unfortunately, in British education, self publication is what is rewarded 99.9% of the time, not great results. But then, that is what we get, from the top (government) down, isn't it?

I hear you.

It's big problem in education that promotion doesn't go to people who are good managers (in fact there is often little or not training in management), but people who are good at self-promotion and 'playing the game'.

I developed a "friendship" with a customer in the USA from my online business. We has a lot in commin - art, literature, music and so on, and we chatted for many weeks. There was no romantic involvement.

Then one day he introduced a new topic. He mentioned that his business (personal stylist and hairdresser) was in trouble and he needed money to pay for his mom's operation. I tried to steer clear of the subject and never responded to his comments about money. This was a red flag to me. I was about to take a month off and decided it would be best to distance myself for a little to allow him to work out his problems. I believe its now called ghosting.

One day he came out and asked me to "lend" him $50,000. When I mentioned this to my nephew he showed me how to do a google image search and lo and behold, my friend's picture came up on one of those scam sites. He has a variety of names and glamerous occupations - airpline pilot, officer, personal trainer to the stars - and a string of women he had cheated out of money.

Of course I blocked his email address at deep server level and his phone number. I wrote to all the platforms where I sold with my "evidence" in case he was able to befriend other women.

Its fair to say that I was suspicious from an early stage but there may have been lonely women more easily taken in than myself. I never reported my experiences to the police as I did not wish to become further involved. I simply blocked and moved on.

Its not my responsibility to bring him to justice.

sorry for typos - arthritis is bad today!

I was taken for a fool when selling my house, and I knew it, but was powerless to stop both the buyer and my estate agent. A horrible experience.

Sadly I got taken for a mug and lost £2000 to a 'friend' who needed rent money asap. So I did, and never heard back, nor did I get the money back. Now I trust nobody when money is mentioned. I've learned the hard way.

Sadly I have been taken for a right fool in other ways over the years, being too trusting. After that incident I'm not so...

Frequently, usually by people I've trusted.

Terrible experiences and yes, worse still been made an absolute fool by someone whom we put our trust in and when THAT happens is leaves a scar....

There's a saying but I can't remember it all.

Fool me once ?????
Fool me twice ??????

I will ask Mr Google... he's very clever ha !

... I don't think people are getting the drift of the OP. It's not about being taken for a fool (haven't most of us at some time) but playing the fool to fool the person who's trying to fool you.

In other words, you're outwitting the idiot who thinks you're a fool.

Well here is an example of fooling person who thinks Im a fool.

My NDN has previous form for attempting to steal mail from me - a package got misdelivered. Instead of informing me it was there she opened and kept it until I went around and told her I had just spoken to the courier. Threatened her with the police and have since informed every new postie and courier of her dishonesty.

Ordered a small gift for a nephew to take to an outdoor event just after New Year. It never arrived and on phoning the company informed it was marked delivered. I checked the address and they had mistakenly put my NDNs number on it. So obviously the seller had to refund my c card. Also sent email message acknowledging error and confirming refund.

My ring doorbell showed a courier type male approaching my NDNs door with a small package on the day the seller said it was delivered. The picture did not show my NDNs actual doorstep but the courier walked back without his package.

So a 99.9% chance my thieving NDN had my package. I got a replacement for nephew and when he called with his six foot mate to collect it they wanted to go next door and put the fear of god into the NDN. I said no, leave it because I got my refund and nephew got his gift.

The gift was a spring loaded glitter bomb for him to take to an outdoor stag do. Think hot tub, outdoor TV, and lots of males drinking. It was loaded with red glitter and millions of penis shaped bits.

My NDN is not very bright and would probably have put the package on one side to see if anyone came for it. She made no attempt to return it or let me know it was there. Eventually she would open it - and what a delightful surprise to be showered with red glitter and penis shapes. I bet she is still cleaning them up.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when she opened it. hahahahaha

Just watched ‘The Good Liar’ with Helen Mirren and Ian McKellan. Won’t spoil it for you but subject wise it fits with the post. Good film too.

In the days of the heavy breathing phone calls menace, I got a random call from some d*ckhead saying what he'd like to do etc.etc.

I just pretended I was deaf - well, deafer than I am - and kept saying "you'll have to speak up, I can't hear you" & "no, no, still not got it".

The shouting fool had a few attempts, bless him, but the call ended very quickly.