Are you happy doing things on your own?

I love to travel alone, absorb the sights, sounds and scents without distraction.
I love to travel with company to share and discuss the sights, sounds and scents.
I do appreciate that I have that choice.
I’m happy to eat alone and concentrate on my book or people watch.
I much prefer to eat with company, to chat with good company over good food is one of my greatest pleasures.
I am happy to watch a film or a show with or without company as I wouldn’t want to chat during any performance but it is always nice to be able to chat about the shared experience afterwards.
I positively insist that I attend the ballet alone. One of my greatest pleasures is to become totally and completely absorbed without any distraction. It’s one thing I prefer not to share and can selfishly remain in my euphoric state for weeks after.
I am confident and happy enough in my own company but prefer the company of Orlin or a good friend and grateful to have the choice.
I would never assume that a person alone is a lonely person.
for those without the choice who are finding life more difficult.

Being 'single' now for about twenty five years, I have a great deal of practice of doing most things by myself.

As others have said, the only thing I find on my own a little pointless is having a meal in a restaurant. When I am in a hotel I always take my kindle to the dining room, to use whilst I am eating.

There are so many times I really prefer being by myself. I used to go every year to the Ideal Home Exhibition, and on a couple of occasions gave in, when friends asked to accompany me. Hated it!! Loved doing this sort of thing by myself, with no=one else to consider when or where I went, how long I stayed, etc. etc. Eventually, I never told anyone I was going until afterwards.

Love having a coffee and cake somewhere when out and just happily, people watching.

I enjoy coach holidays, etc. When I was still working, I went on a much planned few days to Cornwall - three nights in a hotel and trips to Eden Project, etc. Looking forward to all of that and not having to chat to anyone. Sadly, another lady on this trip as a single attached herself to me totally. I could not be rude and she would not take any hints that I preferred to be by myself.. Completely spoiled my first time to Eden Project for me.

Indeed the final day, I hid in my room after breakfast until the coach had left on its outing that day - and then went off by myself to a local jewellery making factory. That evening, when asked, I lied and said I had fallen asleep and missed the coach!!!!

I do enjoy company. Love meeting new and old people in many circumstances. But also enjoy many experiences on my own.

Before Covid, I used to do tons on my own. Unfortunately, my health issues have got a bit more problematic, but would do things in my own. Not a problem.

I often shop on my own and have a lunch my DH doesn't shop often. We ran a business so he hates shops I reckon since we had grandchildren I am a shopaholic.

I am also happy on my own too!

SusieB50 you and me both!
Thanks to everyone who is giving us newcomers to single living a bit of courage
My df has just called off our carryout tonight so I may go into town by myself.

Happily married, with loving children but I have always been entirely happy doing anything on my own. Eat out, any time anywhere, holiday alone, travel abroad alone.

I find it very difficult to think of anything obvious I would not do on my own and have not done at some time or another

Monica; there is a HUGE difference between choosing to do things on your own either because your partner has different tastes or time commitments and being obliged to do them without the emotional security of the knowledge that there is somebody at home to tell about it.
Some people imagine because they are independent, like their own company etc that they understand those of us who are on our own. I was one, I know.
But those of us who have" nobody to do nothing with" know otherwise.

M0nica, I would have said what you are saying before DH died. I frequently travelled and enjoyed things on my own over the years.
But it is very different when there isn't anyone to share it with. Coming home to an empty house - always - not from choice.

I travelled all over the world on my own with work, no problem eating out, or visiting bars, my ex husband knew it was part of my job.
I quite enjoy having my own time and have been on holiday on my own, I take a few books, similarly eating out for lunch occasionally.
I don’t agree it’s easier for men, it’s just difficult for some people, or they choose not to.
I’m pleased you get out and about Shinamae enjoying your own company is to be treasured.

I will do most things alone happily, including independent travel/holidays, but I’m not comfortable going to pubs (although my local is fine) or bars.

MawtheMerrier says it all really.

I prefer doing things on my own. I find others dilute the experience for me.

Grammarett I often did come home to an empty house because DH's work involved a lot of travel, mostly overseas. He kept working after he retired and was due to go to Munich the day lockdown started. Now travel has stopped because he has health problems. although he is still working.

However, I do agree, knowing your loved ones are still with you and can take an interest in what you do, does make a difference.

But my reply was in direct reply to the OP. My daughter, now nearly 50, has chosen not to live with anyone nor have children and has lived alone, and happily, for 25 years. She has always been entirely happy to do everything on her own, although she does have friends and goes out a lot with them.
But she is very content to come home to an empty house and her own company and I am the same.

The only “pub” I will go in on my own is a Wetherspoons…

I’ve always liked doing things on my own but the pandemic seems to have resulted in me and DH being joined at the hip which I find difficult. He’s not interested in travelling abroad and I’d love to have a beach holiday somewhere but wouldn’t know how to go about it. DD went abroad the other week and everything seemed to be done on her phone! Pre pandemic I used to take the bus into town and go to the cinema on cheap afternoon; our current dog, unlike previous ones that were happy to be left alone, is a lockdown dog and we’re not sure how she would be if left in the house for a few hours. The only thing I wouldn’t do alone is have a meal in a restaurant. Years ago I would happily go into a pub on my own for a soft drink and a sandwich but was an occasional smoker and would hide behind cigarettes. I do need to have time to myself and have found the last couple of years difficult.

Interesting thread.
I've flown abroad on my own, but was meeting friends at the destination.
I'll happily travel by train on my own, and go for a coffee or lunch in a cafe.
I wouldn't go out for dinner in the evening on my own but I'd go and pick up a takeaway.
Clothes shopping is something I definitely prefer to do alone!

That's where Probus is good for single people ( usually female) who want to go on holidays . They organise activities, you can share with some other person if you want to and they dine together in the evenings.

nanna8

That's where Probus is good for single people ( usually female) who want to go on holidays . They organise activities, you can share with some other person if you want to and they dine together in the evenings.

But is it very expensive?

There are some pluses to "coming home to an empty house".

Inevitably as an older person with arthritis I am tired, loaded down with shopping and longing for a coffee and a chance to chill out. Im free to do these things at my own speed, without having to run around attending to or servicing someone else. Or dutifully asking if they had a nice time while I was away. Or coping wthe grumpy looks if they missed me.

If I get back tired I can go to bed. No pressure to open all those packages and show anyone else what I bought. No pressure to cook a meal, engage in conversation or do anything i dont want to do.

I do enjoy the evenings when a friend or relative comes around by arrangement. But am equally glad when they have gone.

There is an old saying "Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest."

I too live on my own, through divorce. I like all the things that biglouis mentioned, but I have gone alone on holiday. That’s the hard bit. My grirlfriends who shared hols with me have other commitments. So it’ll be a long while before I go on holiday, if ever. But there you go. There’s a lot of pluses of living on your own

MawtheMerrier

*Monica*; there is a HUGE difference between choosing to do things on your own either because your partner has different tastes or time commitments and being obliged to do them without the emotional security of the knowledge that there is somebody at home to tell about it.
Some people imagine because they are independent, like their own company etc that they understand those of us who are on our own. I was one, I know.
But those of us who have" nobody to do nothing with" know otherwise.

This and very much so

I am another, have to do things alone now and naturally that has made me very aware of other alone people. I will eat in cafes and restaurants during the day, go to national trust properties and have a meal. Cinema, theatre, not pubs. It is ok, once you get over the sympathetic stares

I once read about tables being put out for people who might want company, it does not happen. I do think that most alone people do not venture out to these places

U3A has started coach trips but so far I haven`t fancied them. Being `dumped` all day in a town does not appeal when I could drive there. I don`t like shopping, and especially window shopping, never have done.

I went to a large event alone yesterday. Why not? But this subsequently was deemed noteworthy by someone my own age. I agree that other people's perceptions have to change, because I'm not going to.

I'm quite happy doing things alone. My OH is content with doing little, so I have got used to it. I don't worry what others think. Having M E., socialising can be tiring too. But I am in U3A as I do like company, when able.
Shopping alone is a definite.

I remember in northern France once, I left OH wandering round a castle to go and have a glass of wine. I couldn't believe the shocked look of the barman and male customers at a lady on her own ordering a drink! Made me angry.

I fully understand the position of those who have had long happy relationships and are now alone, but being alone, going home alone etc is not, of itself, a poor alternative to being in a couple.

As I said my daughter decided in her early 20s that she was too uncompromising to cope either with living with anyone or having children. Like most students she shared accommodation and that was enough for her.

She is not shy and retiring or a loner, anything but, and she has lots of friends that she can and does go out with, but she is just as happy, possibly more so, going places by herself and coming home to an empty house, with no-one to chat with.

I fully understand how she feels because I am similar and often consider how fortunate I was to marry someone whose work took them from home so much, that throughout my life there have been times when, sometimes for months, I have been living a solo life. It is not that my marriage is unhappy, it isn't, but my life has always been a compromise between my nature and my affections. In DD's case, she decided she couldn't make that compromise.

If people going places alone feel they are being looked at curiously or pityingly, then that feeling is in them, not other people. I have never noticed it, and I have travelled abroad alone for business and leisure as well as in the UK, and acording to DD, she hasn't either. I think it is a matter of confidence. DD and I are both very happy with our own company and will go where we want and do what we want to do, without looking for affirmation from others, or noticing whether they are looking at us.

As I said living alone, after a long happy relationship, is of course to have second best, but the person who lives alone and has chosen to do so, and there are many, is no more to be pitied than the happily married couple.

For heavens sake, you do not see men worrying about being on their own in any situation, why should women?