How long to settle in a care home

This home is not the best in the area. But since she has been in every member of staff give the residents a hug in the morning and last thing at night.
The first day the office staff gave her a kiss on the cheek to welcome her to their home. The cook came and had a chat about cakes.
Her sister went yesterday and she was so happy that mum is being cared for lovingly.

I did go and visit a few homes that in my mind were posh this one is homely. She has a very large room private toilet.
It has a cinema room, pub and large gardens.

I'm happy with my choice but it's very difficult that I have to make this decision.

This is quite common and good nursing home staff will deflect it. Mil demanded a taxi to take her home so staff just said “OK but let’s just have a cup of tea first”, so she forgot all about it.” A friend who worked as an assistant in a care home said when she was young she insisted on telling the patient the truth that it was no use waiting for mum to fetch her as she was dead. Patient burst into tears. Then next day was waiting for mum again. Friend realised it prevented heart breaking stress if patient was told mum had been delayed and would be there soon.

With mil I worked on the principle every happy moment produced endorphins even if she didn’t remember those moments.

Just a little advice , when your mum is confused please don't try and put her straight - she is in her world and can not return to yours . Step into her world and comfort your mum. Go along with what she says , it is so much easier than trying to pull her back to reality - it can't be done. I wish you both well.

My mother came to live with us for three years , very reluctantly I had tok find a care home , dementia set in and our youngest child was 11. She did not settle and we moved her numerous times - always against the advice of ' experts ' ! We were told she would eventually settle down and moving here would make her dementia worse! At last I found a home I hoped was suitable and it was!
Within three days her head was up , she was taking notice of her surroundings and smiling. What a relief, this care home did not have all the bells and whistles, the modern furniture or the beautiful carpets and frankly needed a good dust! What it did have was a wonderful person in charge and her àttitude filtered down to all nurses, carers , cooks and the ladies who dealt with laundry. My mother's dementia did not improve but her quality of life did . I have no regrets about moving her so many times before I found the home that was right for her. I suggest you follow your instincts, I recognize that wonderful feeling of at last having a good night's sleep. My Mum was awake every night calling out for her sisters who had both died many years ago! Good luck , follow your instincts.

My poor mother was lucky enough to stay with my kind, loving brother until he passed away. We then had no choice, but to settle her into a beautiful nursing home, before we all returned to our homes (abroad). She was 93, had dementia and had no idea what was going on. We just told her she was going back to her home. And, I really wonder if she did believe us. She has passed away. A selfless mother ❤️

In the same situation my DH thought he was on holiday and sometimes talked about the need to go home. BUT - the home he wanted to return to was his childhood home where he lived with his Mother while his Father was away for 5 years during the war. DH was worried that she would be missing him and all on her own. I would promise to visit and check she was OK to put his mind at rest. It was a blessing that he had forgotten that both his Mum and Dad were dead and I could only visit them in the Cemetery

My MIL was convinced that the staff put her up on the roof when they cleaned her room. A throwback to a time in hospital when she had TB and was put outside on a balcony every day.

My BIL kept trying to reason with her but I eventually suggested that we tell her that we will tell the staff that they were not to do it any more. This would calm her down until the next time.

Same as tanith I just used to say something like ‘yes, not long now’ my Mum was similar.

When I worked with Dementia patients some in nursing homes always talked about ‘when I go home’ and I found that just going along with whatever they said was best. In some cases it wasn’t they they weren’t settled it’s just they did have some memory of life before. Maybe holding on to that thought is comforting for your Mum.

nanwind I am so sorry that you are obviously worried about and care very much for your Dear Mum. In my experience of managing care and nursing homes it differs for every one. Some people settle immediately but sadly if someone has dementia it takes longer and no-one can really say how long. I'm glad to hear you had a good sleep. I hope you can put your mind at rest about her soon and that she is safe and comfortable where she is.