Ukrainian refugee and host running off together

Petera if what you have posted at 13.49 is found out to be correct, then I think you are also correct in your assumption that this man was shopping for an internet bride.

I hope that this does not deter folks who go through the correct channels from hosting a Ukrainian family.

There are whole dating websites that offer 'friendships' with Eastern European women - always very gorgeous with long blond hair and hour glass figures. They used to flicker up on my screen now and again. Maybe I don't see them anymore now I use an ad blocker most of the time. Most of the ones I've seen have been Russian and Ukrainian women. Someone told me once that they were affiliated to the Russian mafia, but I don't know how true that is. The mafia paid for the makeover, including dentistry and plastic surgery, took the pics and advertised them, once the girls got established elsewhere in the world they had to pay back the mafia in various ways. I thought it far fetched at the time but these days I'm not so sure. Not that I think any of this applies in this case.

I was always lead to believe that war, for a lot of people, made them indulge in hedonistic pastimes, "you only live once" type thinking.

MissAdventure

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

He didn't use the normal channels.

His wife didn't want to host anyone.

He made contact through Facebook.

Call me cynical but he's been internet shopping for another woman.

I tried to learn Slovakian a few years ago as I taught quite a lot of Slovak children. It wasn’t easy

Kathy the plot thickens! ?

I think the man was messsging the Ukrainian quite a bit before she arrived, ostensibly to facilitate them hosting her - but maybe that became flirtatious, at that stage. The man speaks Slovakian apparently (similar to Ukrainian) - not sure why.

Joseanne

So he is proud of what he did then? Horrible.

I have a story to sell the papers ... yesterday I chatted with 2 Ukranian families and their host family. The latter had been due to go on holiday this month but the refugees arrived earlier than expected in April, so they cancelled their trip. A selfless and generous decision. The teenage children have all been given places at a prestigious independent school, along with free music lessons and additional extras. The two mothers have secured part time cleaning jobs.
But of course the papers don't want the feel good stories with positive outcomes.

Free places at a prestigious independent school... where was that school when Afghan refugees needed a hand? Let me see..

I’m not a man hater but I would say the man’s behaviour is fairly typical of his sex. My late OH completely altered his behaviour in the company of attractive young women. They seemed to provide a cure for lots of things he ‘couldn’t help’.... continual flatulence, burping, scratching, grumbling etc. Boys will be boys, men will be men. ?

And his parents have just welcomed them into their home after this ten day romance?
Nope. Something fishy going on, but then who better to romance than someone looking for stability and protection?

MissAdventure

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

I haven’t read the story either, just bits of it.
But that’s what I do think.
If had happened a couple of months down the line, it would be plausible that it was a Cupid’s arrow type thing; but 10 days?
Nah.
I’m not buying it

Sparklefizz last week on LBC there was a discussion with a. woman who with her husband who had ‘adopted’ a Ukrainian woman and her 17 month old baby.

The British couple both worked full time, and they had a toddler and a baby of her own.

The British woman said that she really liked the other woman and they all got on great.

But she said that she ‘really regretted’ the decision, because she had really underestimated the amount of ‘support’ that the Ukrainian woman was in need of.

My mind boggled.

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

There can be many unforeseen problems. I read that one family, who are vegetarian and won't have meat in the house, have had complaints from their Ukrainian guests who want to have meat with their meals, so an incompatible match there.

MissA it was all done in 10 days!
I can’t even get my head around the logistics of it.
The more I think about it, the more I think that it was all preplanned.

I wouldn't dignify this situation as a relationship.
Who on earth, a few weeks after the horrors of leaving behind their war torn country, would be ready to have a proper, meaningful, well considered relationship?
I'm sure this woman wouldn't look twice at this man in more ordinary situations.

When "mail order brides" became popular some years ago, I read some articles from serious sources - ie. NOT from Hello and such publications - that there were "schools" in eastern Europe (including Ukraine) coaching young women how to catch themselves a western European man, particularly those in the UK. Men from the UK were seen to be less aggressive and violent, more generous, kinder and loyal (??!!!!) and more motivated by sex. Who am I to disagree!!!!! I totally understand the motivation to "catch" yourself a man who is more liberal and kind, but these relationships are often only long enough to qualify for a UK passport. This is something for the gay community to consider too - I have a gay friend who met a Malaysian man, married him, and was abandoned after two years - as soon as his husband could get a UK passport of his own. It's a sad world, full of minefields and heartache.

Oh I’d take him back ……and blow his brains out …if I could find them….two faced low life!

What on earth are his parents thinking?!

Apparently the man and the Ukrainian girl are living with his parents now. I don’t know how that fits in with the sponsorship scheme she signed up for. I hope the man’s father has more restraint, otherwise she might go off with the older man! In the photos she looks very glamorous and confident, but of course she may be traumatised by events in her home country inside

A few changes of tune on here.
A while ago everyone was champing at the bit to say how they would happily host displaced people.
No wonder some men feel at liberty to behave in a predatory way - they have women's blessings, almost.

A young woman, vulnerable, in a different country, away from friends and family having seen who knows what in the war. What man would take advantage, other than a rotten one?

The Ukrainian girl is quoted as saying that she fancied the husband the minute she set eyes on him, so that really destroys the theory that she is ‘vulnerable’ and ‘abused’ doesn’t it?
It seems to me that they are as bad as each another.

What will happen when one, or both of them come to their senses? Even if the wife has him back, she’s certainly not going to want the Ukrainian anywhere near them, but these housing agreements are for a minimum of six months.
It’s a great scheme when it works and British families are to be commended for giving it a go, but there are just so many scenarios where it could be a complete disaster for all concerned.
Even something as common and simple as a clash of personalities, could make that six month commitment seem very long indeed!

I used to work with someone just like him.
This is exactly the sort of trick that he’d pull.
He was an absolute bloody nightmare.

Doubt somehow this is the first affair he’s had. And he hasnt just left his partner, he’s left his 2 young children too.