Ukrainian refugee and host running off together

Showing his true colours ,she's well rid.His partner deserves so much better .

I think this man had been looking for a way out of his relationship way before he met her!
I have seen it happen several times with both men and women being the ones to leave.
Rarely does the second relationship last long as it is often a means to an end and a good excuse to shift the blame from the one leaving a relationship, to the one they left with!

I wonder if this is another of those disgusting fake news to vilify women and, in this case, Ukrainian refugees.
There is a vicious war going on, you cannot believe all you read.

mumofmadboys

Sparklefizz -Dad was working in Poland as a baker before the war started as better pay. Struggling financially in Ukraine prior to this. When war started they as a couple decided he wouldn't go back but mum and the kids would join him in Poland. Poland are now recruiting an army and they decided best to get out.

Thanks for responding. I was just curious, that's all. They are lucky to be together and to have found wonderful hosts in you and your family.

The teenage boy in the family I know will soon turn 18, so they had to get out as quickly as possible or he would have been recruited.

Sparklefizz -Dad was working in Poland as a baker before the war started as better pay. Struggling financially in Ukraine prior to this. When war started they as a couple decided he wouldn't go back but mum and the kids would join him in Poland. Poland are now recruiting an army and they decided best to get out.

I’m sure they werent “in love”, infatuated probably, she was vulnerable, and grateful, no doubt was smiling a lot - as you would with in the circumstances.

It’s a relationship that probably won’t last beyond getting a UK passport. Refugees need a roof over their heads and a way to earn a living, they do not need parachuting into an existing family group. Work in the UK will have been the dream many could not attain before the war.

I wonder if he knew her before because I read online that he had pushed for a Ukrainian refugee to take in.

Taking hospitality to the extreme!
Seriously though,what in the world are they thinking. Even if it this couple had problems and may have split, boundaries on many levels were crossed here..Beggars belief that a relationship flourishes to the point that they are 'in love' in such a very short time given the circumstances and the need to share it with us in the wider world via the press I think tells its own sad tale.

Terrific post mumofmadboys. Why was the father able to come as well? I thought all men of fighting age had to stay in Ukraine.

Regarding a different approach to parenting, you say your children are adults, but I think this is another snag when families with young children are hosting another family. It can be difficult with 2 sets of young children in the same house being brought up in different ways.

Vintagejazz

The Sun really is a rag. Why does this sad and sordid little tale merit publication? It's not uplifting, it's not of any national importance and it in no way represents the general experience of offering accommodation to Ukrainian refugees.

It seems to have been published with the sole purpose of provoking anti Ukrainian feeling amongst those of little intelligence.

Completely agree with you, Vintagejazz!

We are hosting a Ukranian family of four- both parents , a 4 year old and a 2 year old. They have been here for 12 days. We live in a big house fortunately. We have 5 children of our own- all adult. We work well as a team. The family are lovely- we are lucky. However inevitably there will be tensions and annoyances. There are cultural differences and they have a different approach to parenting than we had. No one way is right - just different. The dad has started work and the 4 year old goes to nursery each afternoon. So far, so good. I am sure we will have bumps along the way but I feel confident DH and I will cope together.

X post Vintagejazz.

The post about the refugees getting work will anger people. I have read a couple of posts from hosts on GN, who have helped the refugees by obtaining interviews and filling out job applications. That is what support does and yes it should be available to all, but let's not decry the selfless efforts of those who are putting wheels in motion for these people .
I don't for a minute believe there are more than one or two scheming refugees, it is just unfortunate this case is getting all the publicity.

The Sun really is a rag. Why does this sad and sordid little tale merit publication? It's not uplifting, it's not of any national importance and it in no way represents the general experience of offering accommodation to Ukrainian refugees.

It seems to have been published with the sole purpose of provoking anti Ukrainian feeling amongst those of little intelligence.

The story will pep up the news about Ukraine which a few weeks ago filled copious pages of every newspaper, today in my paper it was a single page on about page 10. Even winning Eurovision was a short lived story. The post about the refugees getting work and having their children placed in private schools - lucky them, this will anger some people as well who cannot afford such luxuries for their kids or find employment for themselves so easily. This very savvy young woman will find herself a rich man in the UK, not necessarily the host, he is a means to an end.

JdotJ

I read this morning that the wife did have reservations with opening their home to a refugee as their children had to give up their bedroom to be able to host someone.
Did the husband bully his wife into the decision, with every intention to start a relationship with the person he had been corresponding with ?
Nasty piece of work. He's allegedly moved himself and new girlfriend into his mother's house.

He's allegedly moved himself and new girlfriend into his mother's house

What kind of a mother is she?
And grandmother to his children too!!

If my son thought he could pull a stunt like that he'd soon find out what I thought of him and his new paramour.

It’s easy to understand and I feel really sorry for all parties, but, you don’t know what else was going on in this mans life. Why was he ready to ditch his marriage and run off with a Ukrainian. Was his wife really that blameless?

I think because the Ukranian crisis is geographically closer to home ordinary people have maybe felt more of an urge to do something?

complete non-story I think, and typical DM. Nothing on the cost of living crisis, very little on Ukraine except this, and very simplistic analysis, and the usual sycophantic pandering to hideous celebs, etc etc. There are a***holes in every nation! I can't possibly imagine what the DM's agenda might be in giving such unmerited prominence to this story. I suppose it makes a change from migrant muggers and rapists. x

Yes Kandinsky.
Good point about the Somalian and Afghan refugees.

I wonder how they are feeling about all this rehoming.
Slightly jealous, maybe?

I think you make an important point there sandelf that good support and plans for interaction need to be carefully put in place before the refugees arrive. Personally I wouldn't want to just throw something together without taking lots of considerations (especially for the refugee) into account. Wellbeing is paramount and the fact that your friend's town isn't brushing aside the idea that problems might arise is very sensible.

(And for the poster asking why the school I know reacted to the plight of the Ukranian refugee children ....
the school has staff who speak Russian and a number of pupils already from Ukraine and Russia. (No one speaks Kinyarwanda there so I am not sure a Rwandan refugee could have been supported in the same manner).
It goes beyond just flinging open doors.

My friends have a lady of 22 arrived. Before arrival, lots of support in our town for hosts. And lots of what to do if problems arise (as they will - I would be a mess if I'd lost all my past life and possessions in a heartbeat). These hosts have lots of space so will not be in each others faces 24/7 and have plans about their lady (who has good English) - how she can meet people, make friends, sort out money and job. The papers only tell us the 'simple' stuff.

GrannyGravy13

Petera if what you have posted at 13.49 is found out to be correct, then I think you are also correct in your assumption that this man was shopping for an internet bride.

I hope that this does not deter folks who go through the correct channels from hosting a Ukrainian family.

I of course agree with your final paragraph, and what I wrote was in the initial Sun report (I find myself in the uncomfortable position of reposting Sun "reporting")

Tony signed up to the Government refugee homing scheme ... [but] he found the application process too slow so took to social media to offer help.

Lorna was never that enthusiastic about having a refugee in our home

I wanted to do the right thing and she (Sofiia) just happened to be the first person to get in touch after I joined Facebook groups for people willing to house refugees.

This woman is a disgrace to her country as is the UK man to his own country.His actions will have an effect on those who want to give nothing more, and many have, but sanctuary from the horrors of the Ukraine.