Ukrainian refugee and host running off together

Oh I’d take him back ……and blow his brains out …if I could find them….two faced low life!

When "mail order brides" became popular some years ago, I read some articles from serious sources - ie. NOT from Hello and such publications - that there were "schools" in eastern Europe (including Ukraine) coaching young women how to catch themselves a western European man, particularly those in the UK. Men from the UK were seen to be less aggressive and violent, more generous, kinder and loyal (??!!!!) and more motivated by sex. Who am I to disagree!!!!! I totally understand the motivation to "catch" yourself a man who is more liberal and kind, but these relationships are often only long enough to qualify for a UK passport. This is something for the gay community to consider too - I have a gay friend who met a Malaysian man, married him, and was abandoned after two years - as soon as his husband could get a UK passport of his own. It's a sad world, full of minefields and heartache.

I wouldn't dignify this situation as a relationship.
Who on earth, a few weeks after the horrors of leaving behind their war torn country, would be ready to have a proper, meaningful, well considered relationship?
I'm sure this woman wouldn't look twice at this man in more ordinary situations.

MissA it was all done in 10 days!
I can’t even get my head around the logistics of it.
The more I think about it, the more I think that it was all preplanned.

There can be many unforeseen problems. I read that one family, who are vegetarian and won't have meat in the house, have had complaints from their Ukrainian guests who want to have meat with their meals, so an incompatible match there.

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

Sparklefizz last week on LBC there was a discussion with a. woman who with her husband who had ‘adopted’ a Ukrainian woman and her 17 month old baby.

The British couple both worked full time, and they had a toddler and a baby of her own.

The British woman said that she really liked the other woman and they all got on great.

But she said that she ‘really regretted’ the decision, because she had really underestimated the amount of ‘support’ that the Ukrainian woman was in need of.

My mind boggled.

MissAdventure

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

I haven’t read the story either, just bits of it.
But that’s what I do think.
If had happened a couple of months down the line, it would be plausible that it was a Cupid’s arrow type thing; but 10 days?
Nah.
I’m not buying it

And his parents have just welcomed them into their home after this ten day romance?
Nope. Something fishy going on, but then who better to romance than someone looking for stability and protection?

I’m not a man hater but I would say the man’s behaviour is fairly typical of his sex. My late OH completely altered his behaviour in the company of attractive young women. They seemed to provide a cure for lots of things he ‘couldn’t help’.... continual flatulence, burping, scratching, grumbling etc. Boys will be boys, men will be men. ?

Joseanne

So he is proud of what he did then? Horrible.

I have a story to sell the papers ... yesterday I chatted with 2 Ukranian families and their host family. The latter had been due to go on holiday this month but the refugees arrived earlier than expected in April, so they cancelled their trip. A selfless and generous decision. The teenage children have all been given places at a prestigious independent school, along with free music lessons and additional extras. The two mothers have secured part time cleaning jobs.
But of course the papers don't want the feel good stories with positive outcomes.

Free places at a prestigious independent school... where was that school when Afghan refugees needed a hand? Let me see..

I think the man was messsging the Ukrainian quite a bit before she arrived, ostensibly to facilitate them hosting her - but maybe that became flirtatious, at that stage. The man speaks Slovakian apparently (similar to Ukrainian) - not sure why.

Kathy the plot thickens! ?

I tried to learn Slovakian a few years ago as I taught quite a lot of Slovak children. It wasn’t easy

MissAdventure

I've not read the story, but do you think it was planned by the man and the Ukrainian woman?
I'm not being facetious, as I say, I havent and won't read the story.

He didn't use the normal channels.

His wife didn't want to host anyone.

He made contact through Facebook.

Call me cynical but he's been internet shopping for another woman.

I was always lead to believe that war, for a lot of people, made them indulge in hedonistic pastimes, "you only live once" type thinking.

There are whole dating websites that offer 'friendships' with Eastern European women - always very gorgeous with long blond hair and hour glass figures. They used to flicker up on my screen now and again. Maybe I don't see them anymore now I use an ad blocker most of the time. Most of the ones I've seen have been Russian and Ukrainian women. Someone told me once that they were affiliated to the Russian mafia, but I don't know how true that is. The mafia paid for the makeover, including dentistry and plastic surgery, took the pics and advertised them, once the girls got established elsewhere in the world they had to pay back the mafia in various ways. I thought it far fetched at the time but these days I'm not so sure. Not that I think any of this applies in this case.

Petera if what you have posted at 13.49 is found out to be correct, then I think you are also correct in your assumption that this man was shopping for an internet bride.

I hope that this does not deter folks who go through the correct channels from hosting a Ukrainian family.

This woman is a disgrace to her country as is the UK man to his own country.His actions will have an effect on those who want to give nothing more, and many have, but sanctuary from the horrors of the Ukraine.

GrannyGravy13

Petera if what you have posted at 13.49 is found out to be correct, then I think you are also correct in your assumption that this man was shopping for an internet bride.

I hope that this does not deter folks who go through the correct channels from hosting a Ukrainian family.

I of course agree with your final paragraph, and what I wrote was in the initial Sun report (I find myself in the uncomfortable position of reposting Sun "reporting")

Tony signed up to the Government refugee homing scheme ... [but] he found the application process too slow so took to social media to offer help.

Lorna was never that enthusiastic about having a refugee in our home

I wanted to do the right thing and she (Sofiia) just happened to be the first person to get in touch after I joined Facebook groups for people willing to house refugees.

My friends have a lady of 22 arrived. Before arrival, lots of support in our town for hosts. And lots of what to do if problems arise (as they will - I would be a mess if I'd lost all my past life and possessions in a heartbeat). These hosts have lots of space so will not be in each others faces 24/7 and have plans about their lady (who has good English) - how she can meet people, make friends, sort out money and job. The papers only tell us the 'simple' stuff.

I think you make an important point there sandelf that good support and plans for interaction need to be carefully put in place before the refugees arrive. Personally I wouldn't want to just throw something together without taking lots of considerations (especially for the refugee) into account. Wellbeing is paramount and the fact that your friend's town isn't brushing aside the idea that problems might arise is very sensible.

(And for the poster asking why the school I know reacted to the plight of the Ukranian refugee children ....
the school has staff who speak Russian and a number of pupils already from Ukraine and Russia. (No one speaks Kinyarwanda there so I am not sure a Rwandan refugee could have been supported in the same manner).
It goes beyond just flinging open doors.

Yes Kandinsky.
Good point about the Somalian and Afghan refugees.

I wonder how they are feeling about all this rehoming.
Slightly jealous, maybe?

complete non-story I think, and typical DM. Nothing on the cost of living crisis, very little on Ukraine except this, and very simplistic analysis, and the usual sycophantic pandering to hideous celebs, etc etc. There are a***holes in every nation! I can't possibly imagine what the DM's agenda might be in giving such unmerited prominence to this story. I suppose it makes a change from migrant muggers and rapists. x

I think because the Ukranian crisis is geographically closer to home ordinary people have maybe felt more of an urge to do something?