The School Prom - For or Against?

An import from the USA like lots of things and can cost parents a fortune for what exactly. Far better for those in their final year at school to receive some 'Strictly Come Dancing' lessons and have a proper dance/ball. The girls could be taught how to customise a dress from a charity shop as part of the event or shown where to borrow/hire a dress via an app for one of the numerous sites offering this. Lessons in hair/makeup could also be given and prizes awarded on the evening for the best dress, hair, makeup, young man's outfit, dancer etc

A lot of hotels near me won't take bookings for proms anymore. They're getting the same reputation as hen parties. Young people drinking too much and causing hassle and annoyance to other guests.

My son had 4!!! He was at a small special needs school so his first one was at the end of year 11 when they were asked to join with the sixth form, presumably to get numbers up enough to cover the room hire room etc in a hotel.

Then he had a 3 year sixth form (it's a special school thing) again with the whole sixth form being invited not just the leavers.

Those three were held in the school, the students did a lot of fund raising during the year to pay for an events company to go in and run a disco, decorate the room etc.

I know we still for it as we supported the fund raisers but it was spread out. Small cost for a ticket, photos were "mates rates" as one of the Dads who does photography as a second job took them, fortunately DS had stopped growing so the lounge suit we had got for Prom one was fine for all 4!! No limos. Parents took them!!
But he enjoyed them so that was the main thing!

Weddings are the same, just need to outdo everyone else. The problem is, the actual marriages don't seem to last!

There are so many worn and unworn Prom dresses being advertised for sale on our local news feed, nearly all cost £hundreds and, in some cases, more than £1,000!!! How can they all afford such prices??

I’ve got to say I am against the school prom - a huge expense and unnecessary and I suspect quite a lot of stress too. I also felt the same about preschool graduation, when a friend sent me a picture of her DGS ‘graduating’ but on speaking to DGS1s nursery, I’ve changed my mind. It seems as if it’s a nice little ceremony which will draw a line under their Nursery and preschool days, showing they are all big boys and girls now and starting real school in September. In DGS1’s case, the Nursery and his First school are side by side, so I expect he’ll be a little confused at first, turning right instead of left.

I'm indifferent, as long as I don't have to attend them (teachers are 'encouraged' to be there).

I think they are expensive for many people and am sure something cheaper could be organised which would cause less stress and be equally enjoyable.

They're like every celebration nowadays- become totally commercialised and OTT and cost an absolute fortune.
Christmas ,weddings, christenings, hen nights etc have become competitive show off events with the original meaning lost in many cases.

Had hoped covid was a perfect time to end this nonsense once and for all!
We have 2 DDs and we simply could not have afforded this when they left school.
Ironically 2nd DGD didn’t have a graduation ceremony when she graduated with (granny boast warning!!) first class history honours. I do think the Uni should tag them onto subsequent ceremonies

Our local school cancelled them for good after lockdown.

At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, I am afraid that I too do not feel comfortable with this: nor with hen and stag nights (that used to be a drink in the local pub with your friends one night to wish you well) but now cost a fortune and often involve foreign travel.

I have nothing against having fun, but it all seems to have got a bit out of hand and a huge pressure on families and on young people to conform.

My daughter didn’t want a dress, she wore a white trouser suit and I drove her in my Dad’s jag. It’ll be interesting, as it’s her daughter’s turn next year, to see what she does.
Personally, I see them as a bit of one upmanship for no good reason.

In my experience, staff don't push the prom, but if the pupil doesn't go, they miss out on the memories.
When I retired 5 years ago, boys wore ordinary suits, girls long dresses. Each tutor-group elected a rep which did most of the decision-making (venue, menu, price). I think they also organised raising money throughout the year to keep the ticket price down. The expectation now is for a Y11 prom.
Sadly in the academy I worked for, they insisted staff pay full price, even though they were clearly working (and many female staff had nothing suitable to wear, so had to buy something!). One colleague said, No problem, I''ll arrive for the post-meal dancing'. Following year, it was specifically stated this was not acceptable!
Not all schools gave 6th forms, and even if they do, many Y11s will be going to local college. The Y13 leaving do tends to be a much smaller, more intimate affair.

DH was head of secondary school some years ago. Prom was organised and catered by the PTA in the well decorated school hall. Minimal cost in an area where parents not wealthy. Prize was given for most unusual method of arriving. No helicopters or limos but a motor mower won it one year. Don’t know if it still happens like that. But fun and sensitive too!

I agree. Fine if everyone is equally privileged ...

Dreadful things aimed at huge competition between the girls and also between the boys …one child a boy at my granddaughters prom arrived on a Harley Davison complete with entourage, the huge Cadillacs etc and one arrived in a helicopter ?
The competition in dresses is dreadful and they all feel they need to compete or be out on a limb
Horrible horrible things

I think that it can be a positive experience and why not? Marking the end of school and a rite of passage. One of my GC missed out because of Covid and was very disappointed, still that's life. Another had a scaled down version last year, making the best of things.

Amberspyglass I have attended proms where the kids smuggled alcohol in. It wasn't pretty. Teenagers vomiting on food, floors, chairs and staff. Fights breaking out because they didn't know how to handle alcohol. Staff, who paid a lot for the privilege, standing in toilets to stop said teenagers getting even more drunk or trying to let previously banned pupils in through windows. Drunk teenagers saying outrageous things to staff. Staff having to deal with very drunk, hysterical teenagers whose parents dropped them off, knowing they were drunk. Thank goodness my school sorted out the worst of that. It wasn't a pleasant experience for us, I can assure you.

There's no point in being dismissive about the proms. They may be an American import, but there's no denying that the majority of the students relish the opportunity to dress up and show off. Both my GDs enjoyed their proms. The GSs didn't have Y11 proms because their year groups were caught up in the lockdowns. It remains to be seen if they will attend Sixth Form 'does'.

Rubbish, and when they do graduation ceremonies for infants. Complete with mortar board and gown.

I think it has got a bit out of hand, but honestly who cares if it’s American? It’s a fun chance to dress up and have fun, and of course the kids are going to smuggle alcohol in. Weirdly, the youth of today aren’t into ballroom dancing and deb balls…

Elizabeth27

They are not aimed at the middle-aged and elderly. The majority of young people like a prom, those that don't Do not attend.

That's not the point, though.

The point is that they are a new phenomenon and have become extravaganzas which some some can't afford.

Surely something simpler could be just as much fun?

It's even extended to pupils leaving primary school now - one year a parent organised a stretch limo with a disco for 10-11 year olds!
The parents of DGD's Y6 refused to go down that route but they all had a great time anyway.

Shandy57

For any parents looking for a dress, the 'everything5pounds' website have recently advertised some dresses that would be suitable.

Thanks for sharing this Shandy........I'm sure it will help some families!

For any parents looking for a dress, the 'everything5pounds' website have recently advertised some dresses that would be suitable.