Virtual cruise Lyon to Avignon and Arles

No worries, Urmstongran. At least en France they cook the Big Mac burgers when you order, not like in UK where they have them all piled up sweating for hours and ready to go.

Anyway, off to Cannes tomorrow. Did you know the film that won the Palme Dior this year is about a cruise which sinks? ? ? ? It leaves the survivors, including a fashion model celebrity couple and a toilet cleaner, on a desert island having to fend for themselves. Apparently it's a frontal assault on the super-rich, and on the capitalist system in general which should appeal to some.

Oh dear Urms.
Think we need a teeny bit of prioritisation here.
Not to worry.
I have found us a McDonalds. In stylish St.Tropez - would you believe it?
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g196703-d6853028-Reviews-McDonald_s-Gassin_Saint_Tropez_French_Riviera_Cote_d_Azur_Provence_Alpes_Cote_d_A.html

Place your orders - we can get that nice bar chappie to pop out and do the honours.

Ship’s notice: There will a compulsory roll call on the lower deck at 6:00 hours tomorrow wherein skills will be taken down and used against you. Eating, drinking and shopping are taken as read. Heads scrubbers are in high demand since the outbreak of lice. Anyone with long nails will be press ganged into service.

ixion

Mais où est ma poste? Elle a completemrnt disparue.
Zut alors.

Did you perhaps preview it but not actually post it?

I have done that and had to start all over again.

A good idea is to coy the post onto the clipboard before previewing, then if it gets lost, starting again is easier as one can then just paste from the clipboard.

I’ve been filing my nails. They were too long for accurate typing of the menus. I’m exhausted now. ?

I’ll see if I can be more productive tomorrow ladies. I need to pace myself if this cruise is going to be of benefit to me. I hadn’t really planned putting any of my skills to good use.
#lazygran

Good job I didn't buy any furniture.
The whole place would be crawling by now?

Place des Lices?
Itching now- is that where they hold the Marché aux Puces?
Really itching now!!! ? f

Je rentre à mes moutons...

?Pleased to see that rather gorgeous bartender on duty tonight. Be still, my beating heart.
I hope he brings me a cocktail with a little umbrella ☂ and a ? on a stick. A la Del Boy, même.

This morning, I had an amazing time at Place des Lices market. From the tourist guide, I quote +

This is a fantastic market which sells a huge range of foods including bread, pastries, cheese, sausages, flowers, olives, spices, herbs, fruit and vegetables. Locals head to the market early to secure the freshest produce.

I have done as bidden and lobbed a varied selection of said produce in the galley for Joseanne and Urms to knock up prepare something A-mazing.

Not just comestibles, oh no.
Again -

There are also stalls for the souvenir hunter. None of the tacky plastic here, this is good quality home accessories, antiques, mirrors, vintage posters, paintings and arts & crafts.

Look what I bought?
It is currently residing in my bedroom, waiting for an inspection to see how strong the ceiling is
Without wishing to appear ungrateful, this is the one omission which disappoints surprises me in an vessel otherwise extremely well equipped.

Where are you sous chef Urmstongran? I need your help.
While we wait, here's the napkins I chose for this evening, inspired by today's pointillism. You'll need a ? to see the dots.

Urms is in the kitchen. That’s fine by me. Everything being served will have a high alcohol content ?

Stardreamer When I made my suggestion about you looking at the way other threads develop, that was in good faith. I thanked you for starting the thread and said it was a good idea. Most of the posts are nothing to so with gender but are about arts, paining, drinking, food etc. What people objected to was your manner of trying to steer the thread or control it. I know when someone starts a thread you feel you have some ‘ownership’ of it but that’s not the case. You will find that many threads go off at a tangent depending on how it progresses.
Whilst there are not that many men on GN there have been quite a few and they can enter into the conversation like anyone else. Instead of instructing or trying to oversee things why not look up something of interest in the places we’re visiting and comment on it like the others have been.

боже мой!
That'll throw 'em off the scent?

Probably censored by the local chapter of the Taliban Ixion - as not being suitable for polite company

Mais où est ma poste? Elle a completemrnt disparue.
Zut alors.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202206/medium-163093-customs-path.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202206/medium-850858-fragonard.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202206/medium-525598-marguerite-gerard-.png

I hope everyone has had a lovely day exploring St Tropez.

After another slice of tarte tropézienne, I walked off the calories on the the old customs path inspired by another Signac painting.

Tomorrow, we continue our voyage and shall be dropping anchor in Cannes. A leisurely brunch then a trip to the Fragonard perfumery in Grasse where we can visit the Perfume Museum, The Museum of Provençale Costume & Jewellery and the Jean-Honoré Fragonard Museum of Art after whom the perfumery is named. There is an option to take a perfume-making class to create your own fragrance. I could tell you about the Perfumer’s Organ, which is a genuine thing but it would spoil the surprise.

In the Jean-Honoré Fragonard Museum is this extraordinary painting. The painter is Marguerite Gérard sister-in-law to Jean-Honoré. No prizes for guessing the book.

We have two chefs in the galley this evening. Joseanne is joined by Urmstongran. Expect the unexpected.

Onboard at 19:00 for cocktails and to chat about our day.

Aucune élégance n'est possible sans parfum. C'est l'accessoire invisible, inoubliable et ultime" - Coco Chanel

No elegance is possible without perfume. It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory.

Thank you for starting the thread, even if it didn’t go the way you thought it should.

The thread is proceeding beautifully.
Along the way, we’ve discovered lovely places, food, art, music and fun, and shared experiences, all without the need for lectures and the obligation to follow numerous links.
On GN, you can scroll pasts posts you don’t like or feel aren’t suitable and still take part in the fun, or you can watch a thread going off at a tangent you didn’t envisage, or you can ignore the thread.
Don’t be surprised if the same thing happens with the Rhine cruise you mention above. Posters may ignore it, or take it in many different directions.

I always thought they pumped the smell of fresh baking to make you buy cake. What would Proust have done?

Useless info alert.
Did you know there's a station on the Paris metro where they pump perfume onto the platform to make it smell nice? I think it's the stop called Madeleine, or that's the name of the perfume?
Time for cake now. See you later.

Excellent! Great photo too. Are you sure it’s not security calling ahead to have the red carpet rolled out for you?

Oh no! All those years of asphyxiating people on commuter trains with EL’s Youth Dew, I switched to EA’s Blue Grass thinking I smelt like a fresh morning meadow not chip fat!

I'm up for a visit to a parfumerie in Grasse. I think you get to design your own fragrance, don't you?
Shame that a lovely town has a name sounding like grease or fat.

I think I've made it to St Trop now. Quick wave!
That's my personal dresser behind me phoning ahead to book my appointment chez Celine and Dior.

We left Marseilles days ago ixion. How much have you been drinking? We are on route for Monaco and Monte Carlo via Cannes and Nice where we shall spend our last few sous in the casinos. Please everyone try to save 60 euros for the train in case I can't flog the tub back to an oligarch.

The lobster scene in Julie and Julia is one of the funniest in the film - Amy Adams trying to get them in the pans. I'm sure there have been other scenes like that. Frasier? Some Woody Allen film with Diane Keaton?

When we get to Cannes tomorrow or next day, would anyone be up for a trip to Grasse and a visit to Fragonard to learn about perfumerie? The building used to be a tannery but I am assured it smells much sweeter now. Male escorts reeking of Gauloises must stay on the bus.

I trust that, when we reach Marseilles, (when do we get there, Driver?) we will able to have a course on Fish Cuisine - Identifying, Handling, Preparation, Cooking and Serving.
Another gem from our University of the Waves (6 credits).

I'd like to learn how to pack a struggling lobster with its wavy bits into a pan. (Well, I wouldn't really, it's all a bit gross).
Chopping heads off I will have to do with my eyes shut.

Perfect skills for we poissonières même.

Could I have the heads in a bag to take home for my cats, please?

Oh my goodness SD I can’t help feeling you are taking this all too seriously including yourself !

You are perfectly welcome on the thread but think all agree we didn’t need so many “instructional “ links etc.

Also there was nothing scurrilous nor unsuitable on here, just some great humour, poetry, art etc.