Virtual cruise Lyon to Avignon and Arles

Maw! That’s the worst beachwear I’ve ever seen. Is lime green back in fashion this year?

You may laugh at my name but not at my moustache. The Veet ran out ages ago.

I was asked to knit a rainbow one of those for a friend taking part in a gay parade. Good for using up yarn scraps but is was all cheap acrylic. It chafed and squeaked something awful.

Mollygo

Maw! That’s the worst beachwear I’ve ever seen. Is lime green back in fashion this year?

You were judging the colour?

I thought their green credentials most noteworthy.

We are now approaching Cannes where your skipper will attempt not to demolish the quay this time.

Guests are asked to return their glasses and put themselves and John into an upright position.

Brunch will be served er ... somewhere. Sadly our reputation precedes us and many establishments are suddenly fully-booked.

Ooh,
To Cannes

Sorry I'm late back. The ? was delayed getting back from Mike and Emily's place this morning. Talk about a queue to get out of the carpark ?️HeliPark - took forever. What was wrong with a luxury coach? is what I say.

Actually, Gauloise Gervais is 'used goods' as an elderly relative used to put it, so quaintly. I told GSM not to be tempted by the offer of Woodland Trails Hiking, but off they trotted...?‍♀️

No, my latest is Gitane Giles, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Dave Grohl...
He is the owner of a huge chopper and able to put it down on the deck so everyone else here can admire it.

Now, where's lunch?

Oh my word, is that where GSM is? We missed her at breakfast.

Those trails are customs paths! I waffled about them yesterday; still haunted by remnants of Boney's men ever ready to frisk hikers for contraband.

Was he packing? as an elderly relative used to say. Gauloises, I mean. At least, he's lucky to have the law by his side. Oi Boney! I'm pro bono and furthermore I have a big dog here who likes Bonio. Not that Big Dog obviously. The revenue men are welcome to him.

Excuse me! Grohl saw me standing there first and his heart went boom as he crossed the room. He is here now holding my hand and we plan to dance through the night.

Sorry not sorry. You have missed lunch. We are at the Fragonard factory where the Perfumer is showing us his organ. It is vast and not what I had expected at all.

Oh my goodness, I’m back and can’t begin to describe my experiences with Gervais and those frisky customs men. It wouldn’t be suitable for ‘polite company’ but are we ‘polite company’? I’m ravished (in more ways than one) and dying to eat. On my way back I purchased some beautiful lamb fillets … anyone squeamish if they’re served pink with pommes de terre nouveaux and asparagus avec du beurre?

So did you miss the Smellies trip, too GSM?
Tant pis (and that's just the whiff before you get in).

Anyhow, delighted you are back in one piece?
I am, I think, in the maison de chien with ?You Know Who.
All this rubbish about their eyes met over a crowded room?
Dave is mine, all mine.
Love blossomed as soon as I had sat in that cockpit?

Ooh, the lamb looks, well, interesting.
Are you sure it's not still bleating?
I shall require a Gin to wash it down.

Sorry I got tied up at the prison, so missed the beginning of the smellies tour. But I made it for the fragrance concocting experience.
I stuffed some extra rose petals in my pocket to float in our gins.

There is a very peculiar smell pervading the upper deck dining area this evening.

Top notes of rose, rust and juniper berries; middles notes of lavender and tea tree oil and bottom notes of patchouli, stale smoke and leather. Not so much Foo as Poo. Not so much Teen Spirit as Spleen Spirit. I am not jealous of ixion at all. I am not jealous of ixion at all. I am not jealous of ixion at all.

Glad to hear people have had a good day. Did you solve the mystery of the man in the iron mask Joseanne or at least how to conceal strap marks? Great to have you back on board GSM even of you have left the galley in a right bloody mess.

Ah, but is your photo signed CS??
AND I have made a frame for it! ?again.

I assume we're drinking a Chateau Mouton Rothschild with the mouton. £765 a bottle!

Oh, cheap plonk☹️

Sorry about mess, will clear it up in the morning . I do like my lamb pink.

Cool frame ixion - Tesco?

No Maw
Galleries Lafayette. The Paris one actually.

Me 'n' Dave called in on the way back for nibbles.

Any of that plonk left Joseanne? ?
Bit late joining you all. Busy. Busy. ?

Just a quick slurp Urmstongran then I'm going ashore for some nightlife.

Off you pop.
You’re younger than me. I’ll just sip then ?

Vous femmes êtes just hilarious. I’ve had a lorra laughs and I hope you’ve got more cruising lined up when this finishes

I'm over Grohl now. Why have one rock start when you can have six? Look who I found playing in a Cannes cellar bar? Who'd have thought to see Eagles in the night Sky over the Riveria. Witchy Woman Takin' It Easy.

Stand by.
It has been pointed out there are only two posts to go.
Get ready?

Ship's notice. Brünnhilde will be running a late night Gin Hokum session in the upper bar. Scotch and cigars mandatory. Expect to push through 'til morning.

Watch her though! She cheats!