I am sorry that what might have been harmless, if not particularly perceptive observations about your height ever made you feel victimised SD, but if I may I would like to recommend an unforgettable book by Edith Eger , a world renowned psychotherapist who more than anybody knows what being a victim is all about
In 1944, sixteen-year-old Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. There she endured unimaginable experiences, including being made to dance for the infamous Josef Mengele. Over the coming months, Edith’s bravery helped her sister to survive and led to her bunkmates rescuing her during a death march. When their camp was finally liberated, Edith was pulled from a pile of bodies, barely alive.
In later life she became a world famous psychotherapist and authority in the areas of suffering, forgiveness, redemption,
She says “ suffering is universal. But victimhood is optional There is a difference between victimization and victimhood. We are all likely to be victimized in some way in the course of our lives. At some point we will suffer some kind of affliction or calamity or abuse, caused by circumstances or people or institutions over which we have little or no control. This is life
…... In contrast, victimhood comes from the inside. No one can make you a victim but you. We become victims not because of what happens to us but when we choose to hold on to our victimization. We develop a victim’s mind—a way of thinking and being that is rigid, blaming, pessimistic, stuck in the past, unforgiving, punitive, and without healthy limits or boundaries. We become our own jailors when we choose the confines of the victim’s mind.”
You might like to reflect on this. At points of extreme tragedy in my life, losing a my first born child and more recently losing my husband I felt that somehow I was a victim of misfortune.
But suffering is universal, but victimhood is optional.
