Can teasing be subtle bullying?

Witzend

Definitely. Especially when aimed at someone known to be sensitive/vulnerable, and followed by, ‘You’re just too sensitive/touchy!/ Lighten up!/You can’t take a joke! etc.

Well, maybe someone can't take a joke.

But why should they be required to do so by Joe King?

There is no law that says anyone needs to take a so-called joke by Joe King or by anybody else.

What else does Joe King consider they should be able to take?

I wonder how Joe King would take waking up in a police cell with a ten o'clock in the forenoon appointment with the District Judge.

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VioletSky

I have a very simple way of dealing with inappropriate comments, sarcasm or jokes at my expense which I learned having the sort of brain that took a few extra years to understand that sort of thing.

Now I just say I dont understand what they mean and make them explain till they feel awkward and go away..

It works perfectly for something discovered by accident

I've heard all too often 'That was meant as a joke', but at whose expense? I suppose if it is loving teasing with someone very close to you it may be a form of love language. However, if it is teasing with an element of superiority and harshness, then it is subtle bullying. Does one need to tolerate if unwelcome? I would call out the teaser if I felt demeaned in any way.

Bullying can be very subtle and often passed off as "banter" or "joking". It becomes bullying (which is a form of harassment) when the object of the remarks has made it clear that they find it offensive or unwanted but the behaviour continues.

One of my nephews was "teased" in a workplace when his boss asked him directly if he was gay and he admitted to it. Lots of tasteless jokes about "shirt lifters" "batting for the other side" and "better stand with your backs to the wall" etc. This was back in the 1990s and of course would be illegal now. In the end he resigned and on my suggestion went for constructive dismissal. The company settled out of court.

The tactic suggested by one poster of making someone explain what they mean and then continuing to pick at it can make the teaser feel very foolish. However they might turn around and accuse you of bullying them. Im glad I no longer have any connection with the corporate workplace.

I was teased and made fun of by my mother when I was a child/teenager. I hated it, which I think made her do it more.

Sometimes it was about my personal appearance e.g. my thunder thighs, or other times it would be when I was struggling to do something.

I was an only child so maybe missed out on sibling banter which may have hardened me to this type of comment. Or maybe I was over sensitive?

I have never been self confident in terms of my appearance even though I don't have any particular outstanding features. I am average in every way.

Because of my experiences, I would never tease a child or make fun of them