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"Well at least they're not at home playing on their x box"

(57 Posts)
Vintagejazz Thu 07-Jul-22 09:12:55

I heard this line being trotted out again yesterday. A friend was being driven to distraction by kids playing a game that involved much screeching and screaming, directly outside her house at 9.30pm earlier this week. I was sympathising but our other friend just thought it was great they were playing a game and not glued to a gadget.

I've often heard people say this, as if there's no options apart from kids annoying their neighbours or staring at a screen for hours.

What happened to kids being called in at a reasonable time and playing in their own house, or reading a book, or even sitting down with their parents to play a board game or something?

These children were about 8 to 11 years old, apparently.

mimismo Fri 08-Jul-22 11:36:38

I was an infant teacher for many years and on school trips always reminded the children before we left that other visitors to the zoo/museum wherever were there to see the attraction, not to listen to kids shouting. I was pleasantly surprised that this usually worked and they generally controlled their volume. I think it needs pointing out by the responsible adult. Problem is many adults now abdicate the responsibility.smile

Dee1012 Fri 08-Jul-22 11:46:56

I live in a street of terraced houses and while I have no objection whatsoever to children playing...the last year or so it's been quite bad and it does seem to be getting worse.
Footballs continually thumped against walls and cars - several vehicles actually damaged (the boys playing are 8 -12 years old), screaming and shouting until 10.00 pm most evenings and it normally starts around 4.00 pm, several mums will sit on the doorstep while the children are running around or on bikes / scooters etc and totally ignore the little ones.
Yesterday 2 nearly got hit by cars!
I never hear 'play quietly or watch what you are doing with the ball'
What's even more frustrating is I live very close to a lot of open spaces / parks.

JaneJudge Fri 08-Jul-22 11:49:21

I was told to come back before dark too. We had friends on the estate so it was safety in numbers but I remember getting told off by certain households too. This has happened forever hasn't it? and certainly isn't anything new?

Vintagejazz Fri 08-Jul-22 11:55:20

I think those who implying that objections to late night shouting and screaming by children somehow equates to not enjoying seeing children play outside are unfair.

One again, there's a happy medium. You can thoroughly enjoy the sight of kids running around, turning cartwheels on the green, playing some of the games you remember from your own childhood AND still want a bit of peace and quiet directly outside your house from about 9pm or find the one or two children who scream and screech constantly very annoying.

It doesn't have to be either or.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 08-Jul-22 11:57:32

What is wrong with children playing outside until 9.30 in the evening in the only month of the year where it is light enough to do so? They are on holiday from school now, surely? Except of course in England, which has different school terms to everyone else.

Do you really go to bed that early?

You may have been stopped from running around shrieking when you were a child, but at that time we just went off and played round the corner or in the fields were no-one bothered about us making a din. Modern over-protected children aren't allowed out of their parents sight, so put up with the din, or encourage their over-cautious parents to continue to bring up children who sit around indoors all the time.

Vintagejazz Fri 08-Jul-22 12:03:51

There will be younger children trying to sleep, people who have to be up at 6pm to commute to work starting to go to bed, and even people who have been listening to children playing outside all day wanting an hour or so to relax with a book or the telly in peace for an hour or so before bed. Give and take is important when you have close neighbours.

Who said children should be sitting indoors all day?

Doodledog Fri 08-Jul-22 12:19:22

Who said children should be sitting indoors all day?

Absolutely nobody, but these threads always end up with suggestions that wanting a bit of peace in your own home equates to being a child-hating misery who wants children to be seen and not heard.

There is a middle ground between feral children and square-eyed prisoners kept in bedrooms - it just takes a bit of effort from parents and carers to teach them to think of others.

biglouis Fri 08-Jul-22 12:28:51

If you want to blot out the noise of children ear plugs, head phones and a loud TV or radio are your friends.

If the noise/music is something that YOU put on then its possible to zone it out because you have control over it. You can then use it to cover the noises you dont want to hear. I always put in earplugs and music on when I have a task I want to concentrate on. It covers the noise of anything going on outside which I am not interested in.

icanhandthemback Fri 08-Jul-22 12:34:58

^ ...screeching and screaming, directly outside her house at 9.30pm...These children were about 8 to 11 years old, apparently.^

Blimey, mine would have been in bed by this time. We would have had enough of the row ourselves!

Doodledog Fri 08-Jul-22 12:36:47

Hmmm. That's a bit like saying that if you have a sore foot you should stamp on the other one to take your mind off it grin.

I accept that if the noise is unbearable you might have to do something for the sake of sanity, but there is another option, which is for parents to teach consideration. Nobody expects silent play, but there is no need for screaming, and definitely not late at night. Quite apart from the issue of the screaming annoying the neighbours, learning to consider other people is a good lesson for life in general.

Doodledog Fri 08-Jul-22 12:37:17

Sorry - that was to biglouis

4allweknow Fri 08-Jul-22 12:59:04

* intagejazz* I agree it's the screaming snd shouting that is so annoying. I live in a very small estate. Has a grassed area surrounded on 3 sides by access roads and the fourth runs parallel to a property. The grassed area has Conditions of No Ball Games or Cycling permitted. Anyone with common sense can see why. But no, football banging away for hours, hitting planting, fences parked cars and the resultant shouting to one another when playing.Those who live close by have to put up with the noise and disturbance. My part of the estate has very few children. The kids making the noise live at the top where parents/carers can't see what's going on. They will hear but to a lesser extent. Screaming seems the way to communicate nowadays especially girls. Children out on bikes at weekend noise was appalling. Shouting to one another about 100 yds away. Couldn't ride up to friend to speak. I am convinced there is very soon going to be a generation of hearing disability when I hear adults speaking so loudly, shouting at children, music blaring in cars and elsewhere. I live about 150 yds from the grassed area and on Wednesday 10 pm I heard most of the conversations between the kids playing there. Ask them to tone it down? May as well ask them to stop breathing. This is in an area where if there is any poverty it's well hidden. All detached properties, high end cars in driveways, but consideration for others - None.

Happysexagenarian Fri 08-Jul-22 14:11:47

We once had a near neighbour whose 7 or 8 year old daughter would keep shouting for her friend, two streets away, to come out to play. This was at 6 - 7am every morning through the holidays. She just kept on shouting until she got a response, sometimes for two or three hours! This was accompanied by her parents shouting and swearing at her.

I went to speak to her mother and took my husband's loudhailer with me. When she opened the door I spoke to her through the loudhailer and suggested the child might like to borrow it to avoid losing her voice every morning when she shouts to her friend! The mother looked at me blankly (she wasn't the sharpest knife in the box), then looked sheepish and apologised. She said she'd tell her not to make a noise before 7.30. I said make it 8am and I won't complain to the council. Mornings were quieter after that.

But I agree that constant screaming and screeching is very annoying. Perhaps your friend could have a quiet and friendly word with the children themselves, point out that there may be babies and shift workers trying to sleep and could they just stop the screaming please. At 8 to 11 years old they're not 'terrifying' teenagers and if their parents should come knocking on her door she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to.

Doodledog Fri 08-Jul-22 14:13:01

I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when you took the loudhailer round ?

Saggi Fri 08-Jul-22 15:25:07

I’m ok with kids noise….I’m one of six …and we made noise! Seems to me kids can’t win these days…..if they’re sitting in playing on gadgets they are wrong….if they’re playing in the street , they are wrong . 9.30 perhaps a little late for screeching games, and perhaps parents could be a little more circumspect about time….. calling them in by at least 8.30 or 9. But otherwise , I prefer to hear them all out and about …..so very soon it’ll be exams….exams….exams….work …work and more work til they’re 70+…….. let’s leave them alone.!

MissAdventure Fri 08-Jul-22 15:28:18

We were bought in if we got too rowdy.
One warning and in.
Nothing wrong with asking children to consider others.

Treetops05 Fri 08-Jul-22 15:36:48

We were driving around Taunton's ring road at 9.30pm on our way home from collecting new bees on Wednesday evening. At a request crossing with lights was a little girl 6? (At a push) all alone, waiting to cross. My kids are 35 and 36 and grew up in a small country market town; I'd never have allowed them to wonder about alone at that age...or at that time of night ? I wanted to stop but traffic was fast, and I'd have been a stranger...but it really worried me.

Sharina Fri 08-Jul-22 17:22:56

We live near a park and although I live the sound of children playing, the screeching and shrieking drives me crazy. I don’t understand why children aren’t told that noise, for the sake of it, is really unnecessary. As is swearing.

GraceQuirrel Fri 08-Jul-22 17:44:38

annsixty

I have been accused on this forum of being a miserable old woman for complaining about children being so noisy.
Slightly different scenario as this was younger children playing in their own garden, screaming constantly for hours and banging a football on our shared fence.
I got the same, they are only children, they need to be outside etc.
To live with it is very different.
I had to buy noise reducing headphones to sit in my own garden.
No fun at all.

I completely agree with you, not miserable at all. Those who say that don’t endure it.

aonk Fri 08-Jul-22 18:09:18

This time of year, the best in my opinion, when we have warm weather and long days should be used to the advantage of children who often don’t get enough exercise and fresh air in the winter months. Live and let live!
My father was very strict and I was never allowed to play outside or mix with the neighbours’ children. I was sent to bed early and only allowed to play quiet games. Unhappy memories for me looking out of the window at the other children having fun. Now I love the company of children everywhere I go and really can’t understand this desire for “ peace and quiet.”

MissAdventure Fri 08-Jul-22 18:22:48

Surely there is a middle ground?
A few hours of screaming and shrieking, followed by being asked to tone it down a bit.

Doodledog Fri 08-Jul-22 19:17:04

I think that if you don't understand the need for peace and quiet you can't know how soul-destroying it can be to have no escape from incessant noise.

Some people might not mind it. Some may even enjoy it, but others really need peace at times. I don't think that people need an excuse - it's just that everyone is different, and expecting those who need peace to 'live and let live' is akin to expecting an introvert to give a public speech, or a party animal to spend all her time alone.

Children do need to run off steam, and I accept that there isn't always a park or playing field nearby, and that not all parents can take them to a beach or open land to play on. But at the same time, children also need to learn to consider other people, if they are going to grow into considerate adults.

I see no harm in them playing and making play level noise. They are not going to be quiet however much adults might want it. But there is a huge difference between laughter and a bit of shouting to one another, and constant screaming, isn't there?

Milest0ne Fri 08-Jul-22 19:52:04

A head teacher tried the experiment of playing Mozart in the corridors when the pupils were on the move. It calmed everybody down and stopped the pushing and shoving.
Vintagejazz's friend could try for a bit of culture and play Mozart loudly. You never know, the children might shut up and actually like it. It would certainly confuse them.

MissAdventure Fri 08-Jul-22 19:53:24

Or at least drown them out. wink

Vintagejazz Fri 08-Jul-22 21:23:01

aonk

This time of year, the best in my opinion, when we have warm weather and long days should be used to the advantage of children who often don’t get enough exercise and fresh air in the winter months. Live and let live!
My father was very strict and I was never allowed to play outside or mix with the neighbours’ children. I was sent to bed early and only allowed to play quiet games. Unhappy memories for me looking out of the window at the other children having fun. Now I love the company of children everywhere I go and really can’t understand this desire for “ peace and quiet.”

Really? You can't understand why people want a bit of peace and quiet in their own homes at 9.30 in the evening?

Surely everyone should be allowed enjoy Sumner, in a way that is mindful of the needs of all neighbours of all ages and in all circumstances.