I know,I said I need to be nicer...

We will be thinking of you.

Oh good luck MissA ?
FarNorth that is fantastic advice

Good luck, I hope it goes okay and she gets the message.

This evening the routine will start.
She will be doing a dinner today, so, once washed up (in a nice sink full of hot water, starting with the glasses, and only when she has washed down the work surfaces first...) she will be down.

I'm ready.
Going to say something.

(I can't go to hers first - can't get up the stairs)

Phrase it as "I need you to help me by remembering I have to have a lot of rest."

Hi, I was thinking a bit more about this, and wondered if you might need a simple short term solution rather than for the rest of your life.

As your health and in particular your eye condition improves you might then be in a slightly less vulnerable position and so a different proposal might be more appropriate at that point. Or maybe you will feel less worn down and more able to bear it, not that you should have to feel as though you are in an intolerable position, ever.

Would it be any good if you explained to your neighbour that as your eyes are bad you need to rest a lot but hope things will be better in a month or so, and that if you need her you will call her?

MissAdventure you do sound to be a lovely person.Your neighbour is wearing you down at times, though of course she cannot help it, and has also been kind and helpful to you when you need it.
Perhaps the best is just to pretend you are out when you are not up to conversations with her, or you were asleep and didn’t hear the door bell.

4allweknow

How does she manage to get in your place? Lock your door and if she has a key ask for it back. Perhaps say it's something to do with insurance and making place safe. Close your curtains so she doesn't see you. Does she have any family you can speak with and explain how she seems to have difficulty remembering and her habits have become more persistant. 17 years of her, you are a saint but she is affecting your mental health and it has to stop. Just no other way than to say you want her to only visit say once a day or even once a week.

MissA has explained that neighbours family is not a possibility.

You take control and go round to HERS for a change. To tell her that you really have appreciated her attention but that you will also appreciate it if she stops with the red cross food parcels and granny sitting! Bite the bullet and say you don't want to fall out over this but she really needs to put the brakes on and leave you be, if you like suggest that if you want her company you'll call on her and never the other way round? Hope you get some peace!

I would hate to have locked doors and closed curtains all the time and I suspect MissA would too.
Mrs Nice would probably bang on the door anyway, thinking there was something wrong.

Oh dear, that would drive me insane. Clearly she has some mental health issues, which might explain her behaviour but doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Can you sit somewhere where she can't see you from the outside, and lock the door as if you were out?
There are some great ideas from other posters.

How does she manage to get in your place? Lock your door and if she has a key ask for it back. Perhaps say it's something to do with insurance and making place safe. Close your curtains so she doesn't see you. Does she have any family you can speak with and explain how she seems to have difficulty remembering and her habits have become more persistant. 17 years of her, you are a saint but she is affecting your mental health and it has to stop. Just no other way than to say you want her to only visit say once a day or even once a week.

I could, but I'm champing at the bit to get out.
Also, my eyes are still at the streaming stage, half the time.
I want to get on top of that before having them poked about.
Also, I want to get as much vision back as possible before I get my eyes "done".

And, I want to stop droning on about my ailments! I bore myself with it.

MissAdventure

My vision is improving.
I couldn't see out of one eye at all at one point.
It's on my "to do" list to get a new pair of glasses once I can get out and about a bit.

Going out will also help me feel better about You Know Who.

You could get an eye test at home.

LINK > www.outsideclinic.co.uk/

I have had them several times.

A very good service.

They even, at my request, calculated , made, delivered, and fitted some special glasses for me optimised for 60 centimetres, which is farther than reading glasses, so that I can sit upright and use a computer comfortably. I am wearing them now. I keep two glasses boxes, supplied by them, by my computer and I swap glasses upon starting to use the computer and upon stopping using the computer. I swap glasses when I move from the computer to cook, get shopping et cetera, then I swap glasses again when I return to the computer.

An optometrist does the test, someone else brings them and fits them. All female so far. I think they have some men. I expect you could specifically request females if you wish, I seem to think that there is exemption from sex discrimination rules for things like this, either or both as close up, in your own home.

My vision is improving.
I couldn't see out of one eye at all at one point.
It's on my "to do" list to get a new pair of glasses once I can get out and about a bit.

Going out will also help me feel better about You Know Who.

Well, I am hoping my eye problems are temporary, caused by dry eyes not being treated properly.

They have ended up being pitted and scarred, but will heal (eventually)

MissAdventure

Sometimes I have the inclination, appetite, and energy to cook, but I can't see well enough.

Would it be a good idea to get in touch with RNIB?

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/advice/living-well-with-sight-loss-courses

> These free, informal courses are currently run by phone or video call. To find out about upcoming dates and to book, please visit our Course Calendar.

LINK > www.rnib.org.uk/advice/course-calendar

There are gadgets to help people with vision problems.

You might get them free via occupational health. I know a neighbour got various grab rails.

Sometimes I have the inclination, appetite, and energy to cook, but I can't see well enough.

Well, again, my neighbour will bring me in bread or milk sometimes.
Or I do an online shop every now and then.

I haven't really got a set routine for shopping yet, for various reasons.

Sometimes I can't cook, sometimes I can cook then not fancy it, and there is the cost consideration.

Oops. Might a baseball bat be too much of a temptation!

Why not now?

If you have to go somewhere, it is a balance of the risk of catching it and the effect of not going.

But if there is no downside to being in isolation from others then why take the risk?

I have my Tesco deliveries left on the doorstep and I get them in when the delivery driver has gone - I put a box out earlier, similarly if the postperson brings a parcel, though no box put outside for the post. I answer from an upstairs window. There seems no point in changing what has worked fine for over two years.

How do you get your shopping please?

I had to be very forceful during the first wave of covid, because madam took absolutely no notice at all of the rules.
She still went out 5 or 6 times a day, every day.

It was one of those rules that went in one ear and out the other.

Good point SD.

One thing is puzzling me, with COVID-19 still at level 3 epidemic and you having health problems, why are you letting her come near you?

I saw on Sky News yesterday that over 3 million people in the UK have COVID-19 at present.

LINK > news.sky.com/story/covid-infections-rise-again-to-nearly-3-8-million-figures-show-12656811

I just looked that link up and this was headline!

LINK > news.sky.com/story/monkeypox-world-health-organisation-declares-outbreak-as-global-heath-emergency-12657671

I can imagine a thread "Help! I'm stuck in my flat!"